Did you mind being an only child?

[Ticktacks]

Anyone here a only child? My husband and I are discussing whether to have 2nd child. I'm keen, he's not. If you were an only child growing up didi you mind not having a sibling? Were you ever lonely?

Agree I’m an only married to an only and we have an only. No one in real life has ever mentioned it, it’s only a thing on line.

Haven't read thread yet.
OK as a kid (70s/80s when we all roamed the streets together and then i went home (when the streetlights came on!) to a nice peaceful bedroom)

Not nice as an adult. My mother is a PITA and i have to deal with her alone. Yes i know not everyone gets on with their siblings and often one does all the work re: aging parents ect ect.

I've got 4 DDs .......

Absolutely hated it. Very small family too and 3 out of 4 grandparents died before I was 8. Dad was an only and mum had a sister who died when I was 7. 2 cousins but never really knew them as they lived in another country.

It was very lonely. Especially Christmas and on holidays and I felt very alone.

Im mid 50s now and mum died years ago so I literally have no family at all. I hate it.

My DH is an only and our daughter is an only. Neither have ever indicated a wish for a sibling. I'm one of three and would've much preferred to be an only. My siblings and I have absolutely nothing in common and barely manage to exchange Christmas cards.

Having siblings you get on with is a lottery, just like marriage except you can divorce, with siblings it’s lifelong. I have a nasty older brother, I often wished it was just me and my sister who I am close to. Older brother developed mental illness as he got older and we helped him navigate help. He relies on my sister and me. My dad and mum who are gone would have wanted us to support each other.

I'm very sorry to hear this. Unfortunately this is my future too. I'll have no family at all.

It's one of the reasons I have chosen not to have children now. I'd be an older parent, and my child would have literally no family beyond their parents. I don't feel it is fair to bring a child into that life.

Sending you my best wishes.

Both my parents are/were only children too.

Sympathies! As i said above my childhood was ok cos i knew no better - but now as an adult the only blood family i have left is my awkward mother and my 4 lovely kids. Otherwise i would be alone. No aunts or uncles no cousins no nieces or nephews ....

Both my parents were only children. Dad died and mum wished she had siblings to help with things (my sibling and I help quite often so she's not completely alone). I think it would have been nice to have had aunties/uncles/cousins.

I have no children either. Sadly not by choice. Im lucky to have a loving partner with 3 siblings and adore his nephews, but its still very lonely.

I was very happy being an only child. However I have a large extended family and grew up close to cousins and aunts/uncles who I remain close to today. If I didn’t have that extended family I think I would have felt lonely both as a child and an adult.

Honestly I could have written this myself. Completely agree.

I do think that makes a big difference. It's often recognised by parents of only children too...'oh my child isn't lonely because they have lots of cousins etc', but of course when the only child grows up, if they have children of their own, that aunty / uncle / cousin network isn't there for their own children (especially if they marry / have children with another only child).

Completely agree with this! Reallly good point….

I liked it then and love it now, I dont think it would add much and feel happy to support my parents however they need with support from my dh etc. At least I won't fall out with anyone over it!

I never gave it much thought. I certainly didn’t miss having a sibling growing up. There is zero guarantee that siblings will get on. Some are close, some are basically like strangers with complications.

My parents are now aging but luckily still mobile and ok mentally, plus they have good social bonds. If they needed a lot of personal care I would really struggle.

I am happy that when it comes to it, I won’t have to worry about sibling inheritance and will disputes.

The worst thing about being an only is that other people can treat you as a bit of a curiosity - “spoiled”, “don’t know how to get on with people”, etc. Not true and you soon learn to do the smile and wave thing …

I was absolutely fine but I have been blessed with the most amazing parents, loads of friends and cousins. So have never felt lonely.

I have had more than one child. And always knew I wanted more than one.

I’m an only child, the daughter of an only child. Growing up all my friends were envious of me not having annoying siblings!

I had cousins and lots of friends.

As for having the sole responsibility of my parents when they grew older in my experience however many children there are in a family, caring for elderly parents always seems to fall on one. With the others happily distancing themselves.

I feel exactly the same. Loved our little family unit of 3. I had a lot of freedom and got treated with a lot of respect growing up in an adult environment.

I have 1, would have liked to have more.

However, my Dsis estranged herself and is around now but we are v distanced, as wuth half siblings, but my friends are very dear to me. The pain of not having a good sibling rel is worse than being an only.

25% of siblings estrange apparently. That comes with hurt & stigma. My DF not seen his sibling in 30 years, 2 neighbours I know are cut off from sibling, at least one friend. I can see the desire to have a good relationship with a sibling (fantasy or real) but onlies are not the only group not in that position

Not quite an only child as my brother died when we were both teenagers. Being the only one around to help them in their 80’s is so tough.