Finding it hard with only child -any advice

[lilweep]

We are the only couple we know with one. For medical reasons, not by choice.
We try and encourage play dates but inevitably other people are so flaky & cancel or we end up having their kids while it's not reciprocated, which is ok for DS sake.
Mainly because everyone else has extended families to spend time with, we have none, or their kids have siblings so they aren't really fussed as they already have a play mate (sibling arguments asides I appreciate). We are constantly told how lucky we are to have one, it doesn't feel like it when we are his constant play mates.
I've just taken myself out of a group chat with a few other mums after three cancelled an event I'd arranged months ago as they forgot or made other plans, I feel like I've cut my nose off to spite my face a bit but also feel sad for DS who is often just with me and DH. I get that kids love spending time with their parents but we are both teacher so get all the holidays, weekend and I work PT. So basically whenever we aren't working. DS loves having a play mate but it feels like fucking hard work.
He does football but that's only an hour a week and we can't afford anything else really. Does anyone else find this with one?

Will also add not to drip feed that DS sees all these siblings and has commented a few times how he'd love us to have a baby.
No can do, we had ivf to have him, I was an older mum and his birth was bloody horrendous leaving long term damage.

You really shouldn’t have left that WhatsApp group. While he’s young, he relies on you for play dates. Does he do any other extracurricular clubs? It sounds like he might benefit from some.

1. I would point out that every thing in that group I have arranged and 90% of it people have cancelled, quite often last minute with some weak excuses and today I had enough of it. This event has been booked for months, I got everyone's tickets.

I don't actually get anything from it at all.

How old is he? Any nursery/school friends that play dates could be arranged with? If he’s young then some church halls do free activities (at least where we are) or local activities that are £2/3 a session

He did scouts and basketball, but didn't like either.
Like I said I'm arranging the play dates and they are generally cancelled, I can't force people into it.
He also does after school club twice a week which he loves and gets to play with all ages of kids from his school. He's very sociable and popular at school.

I'd keep going until you find something he does like.
Speed skating
Warhammer
Athletics
Pottery
Trampolining
Chess
Band

It's a poor show that people have pulled out of something that you have arranged.

Yes we have tried this, generally people have family stuff on or are going away.
Thanks for the suggestion tho, that's the kind of response I was looking for, not being berated for leaving a group where nothing was reciprocated.

@crumblemania
Oh 100% I should just carrying on arranging events which everyone cancels on which gets DS hopes up.

How old is he?

Does he have after school play dates?

I feel like I have failed my dc socially as I'm really failing to arrange play dates for him. Also my own friends have withdrawn, moved away so we hardly have had any visitors in the last couple of years! No extended family locally. Makes me so sad. I do keep trying!

He is in a smallish school and the options there are very limited. None of the mums are interested in encouraging out-of-school meet ups with us. Very hard work. He persevered with scouts even though he had his phases when he didn't want to do it. He made a good friend in time, even though we haven't got to a play date (yet). I will be signing him up for other clubs as I really don't know what else is there to do.

Only in the after school club at the school. We suggest going to the park right next to the school sometimes, younger siblings of his friends usually kick off and they end up leaving.

he did scouts so he’s at least 11

Not sure about op but when I said scouts I meant squirrels and beavers, soon to be a cub.

Same here so thanks.
He wasn't keen on squirrels, it wasn't the best group tbh. He went for a year but really didn't enjoy it. He loves football tho and chats the other kids there, so we shall see where that goes tho he's the youngest as it's a mixed age group.

Yes same, thanks, shall ignore other poster who seems obsessed with adding no value put down on my thread.

It can be such a worry! Good luck, Op.