One child by choice - reasons why?

[darkchocolatecoffee]

I always envisaged having 2 children but I’m finding parenting hard and have no desire to go back to the start.

I see a lot of reasons for stopping at 1 child are usually fertility and finances.

but has anyone stopped just because they simply don’t want a second child for reasons like:
-less strain on relationship with your partner
-can afford 2 but want a better lifestyle for 1
-both parents working full time busy jobs and no family help so wish to put all energy and time into 1 child
-more feasible to retain some of ‘old’ life like hobbies, interests and socialising and have some personal down time

I often see it said on here ‘don’t have a second child just for sibling!!’ But then others will trot out the stereotypes about only children being lonely and selfish…

I also look around and can see some lovely sibling relationships but also some ranging from indifference to being estranged/no contact with a lot of trauma caused from childhood into adulthood…. So nothing can be guaranteed.

can anyone empathise or had similar reasons to above for sticking to 1 child?

Pretty much all those reasons. I want to work, afford nice holidays and treats for all of us, go on nice holidays, travel to see family etc and I didn't enjoy being pregnant or giving birth and don't want to do it again. And I'm totally fine with having one. She is 3 and is friendly, polite, well behaved and is very well socialised due to going to nursery 5 days a week. She loves it and has loads of friends so I don't feel the need for her to have a sibling. She has lovely cousins who she adores and sees every few weeks. One and done with no regrets :-).

My mil only had dh she said labour was too horrible to repeat.

We don’t have any reasons for only having one, we just never felt we wanted another. After 2/3 years we felt no urge or need. After 4/5 years we still just didn’t want to and felt it would be crazy to have another child just because society seems to say two children is best.
After 6/7 years we still didn’t want another and we felt the age gap was too big.

As above. Large family, mostly negative experience. Also difficult recovery following birth and colicky baby

I do believe a fair few people in the, particularly western world have another child because it’s the ‘done thing’ and very societal. It’s odd to have just one, it’s mad to have more than 2 that kind of thing. Having one child is amazing; more time for one on one things, more time for your marriage which ultimately makes you better parents, more time for yourself which gives you more time and patience to be a better parent, more money - this means for me personally that I have way more flexibility at work and therefore time with my DD it also allows for wider travel, more allowance for your one child to try out any clubs they want etc etc. what did you decide?

@CNN25 we’re deciding to stick at 1 for alot of the reasons you’ve said. While I occasionally have guilt for not producing a sibling, I believe overall sticking at 1 is the best outcome for my child and don’t want to cave to societal pressure :)

I am an only child myself, I enjoy my own company and have great friendships and I am close with my parents. My mom recently confided in me why she chose to have only one. When she was young she was treated differently to her older brother, who apparently could do no wrong. My grandparents favoured him more than my mom. She didn't want me to go through the same.

My reason? Honestly...I severely underestimated how difficult motherhood was and still struggling now with my 3 year old. Partner was useless at the beginning, albeit better now 😤 I thought I'd be a patient, understanding mum but I turned out to be overstimulated and overwhelmed by what children do at this stage.

Never again.