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Original poster

AIBU over not wanting to pay for replacement shoes?

69 replies

Angebot · 27/04/2023 16:07

OK so first message I've posted so try and be nice.
Context
My dd (11) asd, dyspraxia, adhd and her friend are in same school/class and best of friends os too.
Her mum doesn't work, on benefits etc whereas I work and okish financially. Her friend is always at my house, for meals, days and trips out and im taking her away on hol in 6 wks. This is OK as I do it for my dd.
Anyways today in school they were both messing about stamping on each others feet and the Vivienne Westwood emblem came off her friends shoe.
Normally I would pay for stuff like this but she says they cost £80!
Now I got some glue and stuck in on and it seems to be ok, for now.
However her mum isn't happy and wants me to pay £80 for a new pair.

AIBU. I mean who spends £80 on a pair of school shoes? I only spend £40 max on mine and she's a skint single mum and it was an accident. They are Vivienne Westwoods.

NBU I should just suck it up, it was my daughters fault.

AIBU over not wanting to pay for replacement shoes?
OP posts:
trisfreya · 27/04/2023 18:59

Angebot · 27/04/2023 16:49

When I first asked her where she got them from she said £23 from ebay. That's when I though ok she bought fakes...

Show quote history

So give her £23

Notsureonusername · 27/04/2023 19:01

Has your child been friendly with this child for a while or just since she joined the school?

QuillBill · 27/04/2023 19:03

I'm a mug

You've been hoodwinked because it's beyond your comprehension that someone would do that and lie so blatantly. That is how people get away with things, because other people aren't expecting people to lie right to their faces.

Now you know to be very wary of her.

I know that I would never put myself in a position where I was with this child without another adult there because what are they going to do next to squeeze some money out of you.

HanSB · 27/04/2023 19:03

So the daughter is as dishonest as the mother from the sounds of the bottle incident. I wouldn't be surprised now if she instigated this whole shoe stomping game in order to wangle a new pair from you in the next size up...

MissingMoominMamma · 27/04/2023 19:12

Whilst you’re completely right, I’d get the thread pulled now you’ve sorted it. You said your daughter has been bullied in the past and this is very identifying.

Equalitea · 27/04/2023 19:18

Your daughter is still vulnerable, so it appears, are you. She is being used and you are finding it. I don’t mean this in an unkind manner but it kind of seems like you are buying the friendship and it’s going to keep costing you.

I absolutely would not take the child away in the summer. What if something gets damaged? Nope.

You need to rid yourself and your daughter of this family. It’s like egg shells so by pandering and let them steal and dip you off you’re only delaying the inevitable fall out.

Beautiful3 · 27/04/2023 19:19

I'd superglue it back on and say that schools.over soon. They were both being silly and wanted to.play the game. If she complains, tell her to take it out of her daughters holiday money!

Hedonism · 27/04/2023 19:32

She's had them nearly a year and they are getting too small for her... So basically due to be replaced anyway?

Original poster
Angebot · 27/04/2023 19:39

QuillBill · 27/04/2023 18:31

Fair enough.

Just keep an eye out in the future as you now know she can't be trusted unfortunately and that she does not tell the truth which as you spend a lot of time with her child will put you in a vulnerable position.

I hope your dd settles down in her new school. I'd be strongly encouraging her to form new friendships if I were you.

We've had a chat and I've explained this to her now

OP posts:
Original poster
Angebot · 27/04/2023 19:42

Notsureonusername · 27/04/2023 19:01

Has your child been friendly with this child for a while or just since she joined the school?

For 5 years, out of school. She sees her sometimes on weekends and hols. I literally have had her for full weekends bc her father ( who lives over here) can't look after her properly. But that's a diff story.

OP posts:
Original poster
Angebot · 27/04/2023 19:44

QuillBill · 27/04/2023 19:03

I'm a mug

You've been hoodwinked because it's beyond your comprehension that someone would do that and lie so blatantly. That is how people get away with things, because other people aren't expecting people to lie right to their faces.

Now you know to be very wary of her.

I know that I would never put myself in a position where I was with this child without another adult there because what are they going to do next to squeeze some money out of you.

I will thanks. My daughter was bullied in yr 6 and it followed her Into secondary. I thought changing her schools this late was the best thing. She's not perfect herself . I just want her to be happy and this friend atm is her only friend in a new school. (She's literally been there 4 days).

OP posts:
Original poster
Angebot · 27/04/2023 19:46

HanSB · 27/04/2023 19:03

So the daughter is as dishonest as the mother from the sounds of the bottle incident. I wouldn't be surprised now if she instigated this whole shoe stomping game in order to wangle a new pair from you in the next size up...

It's made me think...

OP posts:
Original poster
Angebot · 27/04/2023 19:48

HanSB · 27/04/2023 19:03

So the daughter is as dishonest as the mother from the sounds of the bottle incident. I wouldn't be surprised now if she instigated this whole shoe stomping game in order to wangle a new pair from you in the next size up...

Like I say, I'm a mug

OP posts:
Original poster
Angebot · 27/04/2023 19:50

CatOnTheChair · 27/04/2023 16:58

I have access to super glue at school.
I have stuck LOTS of these gold things back on shoes. They come off easily. They glue back on easily. The glue lasts quite well - or at least I don't often get the same child coming back to me!!

I bought the strongest glue and even gave her the rest of the bottle.

OP posts:
Original poster
Angebot · 27/04/2023 19:51

Roundandnour · 27/04/2023 18:12

Can the shoes still be worn as shoes?

If yes, then why do they need replacing?

Why is she charging you £88 when she paid £23?

If you really want to pay, send her a tenner.

Yes just the silver bit has come off (decorative emblem). The back of the other was slightly split too and she said my dd had caused that too! My dd denied that bit..

OP posts:
Original poster
Angebot · 27/04/2023 19:52

MissingMoominMamma · 27/04/2023 19:12

Whilst you’re completely right, I’d get the thread pulled now you’ve sorted it. You said your daughter has been bullied in the past and this is very identifying.

Yeah thanks

OP posts:
Throwncrumbs · 27/04/2023 19:59

They have seen you coming, I wouldn’t be surprised if things start going missing from your house soon!

Original poster
Angebot · 27/04/2023 20:00

Throwncrumbs · 27/04/2023 19:59

They have seen you coming, I wouldn’t be surprised if things start going missing from your house soon!

😞

OP posts:
Cc1998 · 27/04/2023 21:02

As if ANYONE would believe those are genuine VW shoes. Don't be daft.

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