Joys of one!

[Mooghulempress]

Realising that one has its upsides - 3 year old DS has a grim D&V bug, and it’s so nice just being able to focus on him, sitting quietly and reading together and chatting to him. Finding positives to one feels nice!

I would have loved to have had more children but life's plan had a difference course for me. DD dad & I separated (then divorced )when she was 2 months old. I was pretty much a sole parent but her dad really did step up in her later teenage years. She has a sister from her dads next relationship (as well as 2 close step sisters) & she (18) will tell all we have a great home life & relationship.?She LOVED being an only child in our home, all about her but she also has a close relationship with both extended family & friends on both sides. She has a great life & will tell you that 😉

@BooseysMom I get what you mean, I swore I wasn't doing it again after my DD birth but then I started feeling like she needed a sibling. I'm so thankful for this thread, it's really helped me to feel okay about having an only, and actually enjoy it a lot more!
My DD is 2 😊 so it's still early days an we haven't ruled it out completely for the future, but I think we're pretty certain!

@MamaSJ15 I got caught in the “does he need a sibling?” thought loop too! And I think feeling that my LO needed a sibling and my DH “needed” another kid would have meant I ended up having one even though I don’t think it would have been right for me or my mental health. Luckily my body stepped in and took the decision out of our hands.

Today was my son’s first day of preschool and as we pottered down the road together, chatting about penguins (current fascination with all undersea creatures - thanks Octonauts!) it was so lovely to be able to give him my total focus - and for me to be able to fully enjoy the time with him.

Definitely another pro of one - quality time together and strong relationship with DC.

I'm so pleased to find this thread! DS is 6 and the number of single child families we know is down to 1. I worry DS is lonely (he's not!) But he does require a lot of my attention as he has nobody else to play with. My mum is always saying it would have been easier if you had had more children to play together! But I really don't think I would cope with 2 children which makes me feel a total failure as everyone else seems to do but DS was a really high needs baby and I can't do that again.

But like you have all said, one child is so easy! Can pretty much afford everything we want to do, getting babysitters is easy, and finally, the one I'm always ashamed to say, i like my me time!! I need to go out every day for an hour or so to exercise for both my physical and mental health. So glad there are others like me z

@Choccyhobnob I am exactly the same. Love DD to the ends of the earth but have no idea how I would cope with more than one, even though most of my friends do.

I also need me time which in my case is cycling. I don’t need to do any epic 100 mile adventures but if I don’t get out on my bike for an hour or two a couple of times a week a notice a definite dip in my mood / mental health

@Mooghulempress totally agree! I think my mental health would suffer too. I would feel like I would lose the relationship I have with my DD if I had another and I don't want to lose it. I love that we can have one on one time and I think it's important for both of us.
Aw that sounds like such a lovely morning with your DS, I love the random chats! My DD is obsessed with traffic lights at the moment which is funny, as soon as she see them she shouts the colour 😂 (she's 2, in case you're wondering!)

@Choccyhobnob I had the same thing said to me by my sister, each of my siblings have 3 kids, so I have 9 nieces and nephews, and I can see that she can leave them to their own devices a lot of the time but it's because the older one helps to take care of/entertain the little one, which yeah is great, but she's missing out on the attention the older one got when she was little! And yes, I need me time too!

@isthisouting 😊

I'll always remember reading a post on one child families from someone saying they have one and they couldn't cope with another.. they know their limits! And all the guilt I feel just melts away as you do have to really ask yourself what can you cope with without it becoming too much? And like pps have said above, time for yourself is really important as how can you be a good mum if you don't get any you time?!

Time with my DS is just amazing and I really can't imagine he would take well to sharing his mum with another DC! As Mooghulempress says, I loved just the two of us walking to pre-school together chatting away. It's special time you will always remember.