Yes, I know we should have discussed and planned all this before marriage. I just didn't feel this way in my 20s, before DD (now nearly 2), I didn't know I'd love it this much. Nurturing, playing, the bond, it's all new to me and I just love it.
I'm desperate for another child, I think about it constantly, I've tried to speak to DH rationally and I've begged. We talk about it every few days, he's firm he doesn't want another.
When he compliments DD I hate it. He's lovely to and about her "isn't she so funny!" "Look how lovely she is!" "Gosh she's beautiful" "wow she is so clever" I know how amazing she is, that's why I want another! It feels like salt in the wounds.
I'd do everything with the new baby like I did with DD, all the night feeds and nurturing as I loved BF and maternity leave, it just suited me to be the primary carer for that year. Now DH is doing the "childcare" while I work as he's between contracts, DD starts nursery next month.
The new baby wouldn't be any extra effort for him, so I resent him being the gatekeeper, I'll be the one doing the hard (lovely to me) work of baby rearing.