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Original poster

tea room 36 - Teh Alpine Chalet

999 replies

UniS · 07/01/2014 23:15

Welcome to the Tea rooms newest incarnation. A cozy log cabin with a roaring log fire, comfy chintz sofas and a dedicated man about the house, our Butler, Mellors. Out of the windows you can see sparkling white snow gently drifted up under the green Christmas trees and bright blue skies. Children can all be packed off to play healthy outdoor stuff while we stay snug n warm in here with our mulled wine, tea,artisan hot chocolate and other beverages served in mugs, glasses or buckets.

The usual rules apply - no fisticuffs. And no messing with the aspidistra.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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Donki · 04/04/2014 23:39

He had a meltdown. Triggered by me raising my voice when he had ignored me telling him to go and get ready for bed for the umpteenth time - but really about being scared of daddy going away.

Donki · 04/04/2014 23:39

:(

Donki · 04/04/2014 23:40

Good night Maud.
I hope you have refreshing slumbers.

ComeIntoTheGardenMaud · 04/04/2014 23:42

I'm sorry to hear that. But don't be hard on yourself about raising your voice. How much and at what level does the YD know about what's happening?

Donki · 04/04/2014 23:52

He knows the facts - because otherwise he hasn't a hope of understanding the feelings and tensions flying around.
He is told repeatedly that it's not his fault - and that Mummy and Daddy love him (although it feels like lying through my teeth when I say that because if MrD loved him enough he wouldn't be doing this - and you can bet your bottom dollar that he's assuming I will take responsibility as resident parent... I wonder how OW would like to cope with a two hour suicidal meltdown?)
He also knows that I am very upset and cross with Mr.D - and he told me off for swearing so much last night Grin
I am also reassuring him that we WILL be alright, and that we WILL be happy again.

MrD was v. Cross that I had told him all the (age approriate) facts. Tough. It's what the Autism support people said I should do (although I admit I asked them after telling him - but the reason is obvious!)

ComeIntoTheGardenMaud · 05/04/2014 00:03

I'm sure your instincts are right (indeed, autism support have told you that they are). I'm also sure that you will be alright and you will be happy again, even if it's a slog to get there. And until then, there's always MN as a place to vent and Mellors and his skills with the massage table.

Scout19075 · 05/04/2014 06:57

I hope everyone was able to get at least a few hours of quality sleep last night.

Donki · 05/04/2014 07:19

The carrot wine, and this wonderful snuggly super comfortable donki bed worked a treat.

I have had my best night in weeks despite my sister's inadvertent sleep sabotage.

Mmmm!
Just look at that breakfast buffet!

?Gets up, sending a shower of lavender scented hay flying?

Oops!

mistlethrush · 05/04/2014 07:28

I am also sure that you did the right thing telling him Donki. He must have picked up on the high level of tension between you and in the house generally.

DS was meant to have a sleepover last night. One friend came home with him - that was fine - until a second one joined at which point everything unravelled for a bit - he managed to come back for movie and pizza - then it all fell apart again for a bit - then got it together towards the end....

I think he was very tired - and being wound up to some extent...

Donki · 05/04/2014 07:33

Poor Mistleboy - the YD loves wakeovers sleepovers but I don't do them very often because he doesn't cope well with being overtired and we get days of meltdowns afterwards...

I also often end up separating them in the end as once everyone is tired, they bicker...

Scout19075 · 05/04/2014 08:19

SmallBoy has managed to stay in his bed ASLEEP for the last two nights. WAHOO! Though he's come thundering in to my room/bed around 5/5:30 each of those mornings. I can't kick him out at that point because it would wind us all up so I let him crawl into bed then as long as he's quiet. I think he fell back to sleep yesterday -- this morning he played "the eyeball game" (Contre Jour) on my phone while I got to keep my eyes closed and my body buried under the covers. Now we're snuggled in bed watching Alphablocks on the computer.

Donki · 05/04/2014 08:19

?Sweeps up hay and carefully folds the beatiful donki blanket. Puts the specially crocheted pillow on the side with tge blanket ready for tonight.?

?Is helped to a sumptuous repast - GF carrot muffins, carrot juice, and a bowl of fruit salad - by the ever attentive and decorative Mellors who has left the NMBs on guard duty?

I hope the neighbours think they are just garden gnomes.

Do garden gnomes usually carry tomahawks?

The warcries (I'm sure I heard "crivens!) May be a bit of a giveaway...

Original poster
UniS · 05/04/2014 11:21

crivens.

UniS fishes a nmb out of her tea cup. Where did you drop in from?

UniS looks up and spots a line of little chaps with teeny frying pans crawling across a beam.

oh oh, I think the nmbs are on manovers.

OP posts:
ComeIntoTheGardenMaud · 05/04/2014 11:36

Good morning everyone, even including the NMBs! It's a gorgeous spring day here.

Donki · 05/04/2014 14:10

Raining here - light showers/drizzle. We went to Tropical world with my God-daughter and her family.

We haven't been for years.

The YD enjoyed seeing some old "friends" (very large fish that he used to spend hours talking to!), but was quite indignant that they now make you go round the place "backwards". It was "all wrong"

Grin

I think I saw some NMBs riding on some unsuspecting birds...

Jacksmania · 05/04/2014 16:26

I think I found an NMB in my coffee... The alternative doesn't bear thinking about.

Donki, I did crochet the pillow myself. And stuffed with with the softest silkiest fluff I could find.
I got back into crocheting Christmas before last, when MIL asked me if I could crochet her a scarf. We'd been looking for a scarf for JB and couldn't find one he liked so I offered to make him one. He ended up preferring the grey polar fleece one we eventually found, but MIL got her scarf and I launched back into my love of crocheting. I currently have several WIPS (works in progress) - a granny bobble spiral blanket for JB, in white, lavender, navy blue and mid-blue. An infinity scarf for me, in pale green hand painted cotton yarn that I stumbled upon in a yarn shop in northern Washington state, a couple of purple squares for a blanket someone is organizing in Woolly Hugs, and a black and white skull hat for a friend made of bamboo silk yarn. That should keep me busy for a bit. Busy doing fun stuff and procrastinating the stuff I should really be doing... which is maybe not that good...

I really think that telling the YD what is going on was a good thing to do. I think even a NT child needs some age-appropriate truth about a current stressful situation. I'll be the first to admit that I know very little about autism, but from what I've read here, situational truth seems essential, and I think Mr. Donki is being an arse to think that you shouldn't have.

What would happen if you told him that he needed to share residential parent duties with you? I don't mean actually act on it, because it sounds to me like that might not be the best thing for the YD, Mr. D being so irresponsible lately. But just threatening him with it? I can't imagine that would fly with the OW. Perhaps it would make one or both of them think a bit more.

Oh, what a bloody mess!!!

Brrr, it's chilly in the house this morning. Thank goodness we have an electric blanket, and a gas fireplace in the living room. The cat is currently toasting her belly in front of it.

DH is away near Seattle this weekend for a course, and I am going to drive down to join him in a few hours. DS is going to MIL's for a sleepover. DS and I were originally going to stay home but given how chilly it is in the house, we thought we might as well change our plans so everyone is happy and warm.
See you all tomorrow evening or Monday. xxx

Donki · 05/04/2014 16:48

According to my sister (not an expert) if I demanded a 50/50 split of parental duties and the YD agrred that that was what he wanted, MrD would habe to comply - and just have to suck it up and seek flexible working.

She has no direct experience - but does a lot of work for her Union and like MrD works for the NHS

Not sure it is best for the YD - but it is certainly worth thinking about/suggesting as a possibility.

I am so tempted to bugger off for 4 weeks and just leave him to cope ... but I couldn't to it to the YD.

I am the one who is staying, and everywhwere we go he is hanging on to my arm/hand/hair or trying to get me to walk along whilst hugging him with both arms...

Donki · 05/04/2014 16:54

It really is a stunning piece of crochet ... thank you JM

Donki · 05/04/2014 16:55

It really is a stunning piece of crochet ... thank you JM

Jacksmania · 05/04/2014 20:44

You're welcome :)

Would a real life piece of so thing crocheted and lovely be of any comfort? A scarf maybe? A real cushion cover? What colours do you like?

Original poster
UniS · 05/04/2014 23:19

Night all.

OP posts:
Donki · 05/04/2014 23:54

Night night! Sleep well everyone

That is a very generous and kind offer JM. Thank you. I will think.

Donki · 06/04/2014 09:20

Good Morning!

I see that Mellors has excelled himself again :)

The garden is full of "gnomes" holding frying pans so I think breakfast should be safe...

ComeIntoTheGardenMaud · 06/04/2014 10:09

I think it is in the nature of Mellors always to excel himself.

Drizzly here but it should be dry by 11am, allegedly.

Scout19075 · 06/04/2014 11:54

I'm glad we went to the beach yesterday and hadn't planned on going today. I had thought we might go to the farm to see the lambs but I don't fancy wearing my rain gear.