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The moving castle tea room touches down for the 29th time

999 replies

UniS · 07/09/2011 21:09

Welcome to the tea room. Open to those with one child and those with more and maybe some with none ( hi dave the trucker).

This time we are heading to the mists and mellow fruitfulness of Autumn in a moving castle with a mind of its own. The roaring fire is maintained by magic and Mellors the gardener handles wine and spirits along with massage duties.

The first rule of the tea room is this
No fisticuffs.
The second is this
Put the kettle on for Brew and help yourself to a Biscuit

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
UniS · 30/09/2011 19:55

won't that cause crumbs?? BOom Boom..

UNiS sniggers in childish basil brush way at misreading of emoticon...Biscuit Biscuit

Evening all. hope you all well and heading into a weekend of enjoying fine weather ( sorry thumb, , can we hang onto it for a bit longer) .

Amber- if it was the Thanks and you don't like flowers, sorry if I upset you, not always so good at putting stuff in writing .

OP posts:
LittleDeerandMe · 30/09/2011 20:03

Twas torrential rain here all day.

LittleDeerandMe · 30/09/2011 20:04

Re squished?!

Scout19075 · 30/09/2011 20:06

That's what she calls it, LDaM.

amberlight · 30/09/2011 20:13

UniS, no, it's nothing you've done at all.
It takes me forever to learn about someone. It takes even longer for me to work out group dynamics, and even then I learn almost nothing about it.

Embarrassingly, most of the time I'm on mumsnet I haven't the slightest foggiest idea who is who, let alone matching people up to their real identities. So I have to be hugely careful not to say or do the wrong thing, but invariably I will get some social stuff wrong. I can't remember more than two of the posts at once, so if I go to answer several people at once, I end up staring into space in brain-pain. I can't explain it better than that.

Unfortunately that combo has one of several consequences.
Either a few people get together and talk about how awful I am.
Or they stop talking to me altogether.
Or they get very formal with me as if I'm a complete stranger.
Or they explain what I've done wrong.
Or they shout at me.

Only one of those things helps. All the others lead to a brain wiring fusing which hurts like hell. Actually physically hurts, because the brain wiring I have to use for social stuff is a real mess of badly connected wires that don't connect to names, faces or key details. It takes herculean effort to get it to give up the right info on someone, and a long long time to make sense of it.

So, in a group like this, I absolutely have to assume that I'm friends with everyone and everyone is my friend, because there's no way I can tell the difference between people fast enough.

And because my brain can't 'see' most emotions or faces or expressions or tone of voice etc, it can only see the really big stuff...and that's what it thinks it has to be like. So I tend to be overexpressive as it's the only way that most of my friends can 'see' me and the only way that emotions etc register correctly.

So some people will think I'm being rude for not being able to work out what to say. Others will think I'm being too 'loud' or attention-seeking. Others will incorrectly guess that I'll give away confidential details - I don't. I'm very well trained not to do that. And all in all, unless people know me well, it can end up as a mess. A mess that ends up with me in a right old state for days and days because it's like a computer that has the wrong software instruction and can't re-start.

I take a big risk in joining in with things like this, bigger than people realise. I do it because I love the people here and value their friendship.

Scout19075 · 30/09/2011 20:26

amber, you have a very good way with words.

Scout19075 · 30/09/2011 20:27

(And if anyone sees MrScout in their travels could you please tell him to hurry up home with the pizza, I'm hungry!)

UniS · 30/09/2011 20:28

Phew. Mumsnet is a funny place isn;t it. I think all the other forums I read/ write regularly I have met more of the regulars at events on those subjects. MN I have no idea if I'm chatting with someone who lives round eth corner of half a world away.
I have imaginary pictures of some tea room denizens but not all. and just a few who I've PMed with or met I have a more concrete idea of where they are / who they are.

Dave the trucker is of course an exception to this, I've a good idea what dave looks like and am confident I can avoid her and her VERY large truck.

So- any one up for a canter on the TR horses? followed by some washing up and then eating home made ice cream?

LD&me - boy started school age 4.9 so he did 2 terms last year in reception and is now in Year 1. He only sounds 6 coz he does so much physical stuff. he's very much a 5 year old inmost ways. Currently VERY excited about going sking in spring and "going to kids club" , and maybe even ice skating and throwing snowballs. not sure he realises he has to wait 4 months till it happens. The last 2 years we have had white christmases so he may get to throw snowballs sooner.

OP posts:
beanandspud · 30/09/2011 20:44

I think there's a need for Wine and Biscuit and Brew in here tonight.

It's been a long day, with an early start for a meeting a couple of hours away and I am now officially shattered.

DH is home though (Hurrah!) and we have a fairly quiet weekend of football, gardening, continental market and a birthday party planned.

purpleknittingmum · 30/09/2011 20:51

Hello ladies!

ooo ain't it hot?! I didn't think I would be wearing the sandals again but have been in them for 3 days now!

A year ago today we moved into our current home! Don't ever want to move again!

Scout19075 · 30/09/2011 20:58

(Still no MrScout -- has anyone seen him? Tall English bloke...)

beanandspud · 30/09/2011 21:11

He's not here Scout - I can PM you some Singapore noodles instead of pizza if that helps???

Scout19075 · 30/09/2011 21:23

Sounds yummy, bean. I've had an X-tra Twix and some tortillas/cheese/salsa and I could really do with something substantial.

(Someone on The X Factor USA just sang the sunshine song. Shock )

Scout19075 · 30/09/2011 21:43

YAY for MrScout coming home!

Thumbwitch · 30/09/2011 22:57

Thanks for expressing how you're feeling amber - and I hope that you can be made comfortable again soon - but of course if you're not comfortable here any more then we'll understand why you can't continue.
We don't want to be the cause of any pain/brain fusion at all :)

Take care my lovely - see you on FB xx

Glad MrScout is on his way at last - what has he been doing? Hope your mum's repeat squishing has a positive outcome.

Bean - sounds a nice weekend ahead.

PKM - now you're just rubbing it in. :(

ComeIntoTheGardenMaud · 30/09/2011 23:04

::totters in::

Amber - I am not sure whether the 'here' where you fear you have caused offence is the TR, wider MN or T'Other Place, but I agree with whoever said that if people have got the hump with you over something trivial or non-existent, it says more about them than it does about you. Please stay here. We need you. Nobody else can keep the bishops under control.

::Looks, horrified, at the bishops in their speedos, having a moonlit swim in the moat::

purpleknittingmum · 30/09/2011 23:05

Where are you Thumbwitch that is so cold?

Thumbwitch · 30/09/2011 23:08

would you believe Australia? you've all nicked our spring weather. Shock

purpleknittingmum · 30/09/2011 23:11

Well I have heard we have snow forecast for October!

Thumbwitch · 30/09/2011 23:23

hopefully we'll get our Spring then Wink

Brew, anyone? And perhaps a couple of unsquished [biscuits]?

(just to say, amber, your priesthole is always here for you if you need it, stacked out with old blueprints, Haines Manuals and other Hard Reading, plus blankets, hay (courtesy of Donki) and a tea urn)

Stickwithit · 30/09/2011 23:56

Amber, I am sorry that MN doesn't feel like a good place for you ATM. I am not sure if something in the tearoom or on a different thread has contributed towards this. I haven't been around for long but Would be sorry to see anyone leave this friendly place. I am still getting used to the Tearoom and really really hope I haven't inadvertently said or not said anything to cause offence.

Scout, hope BiscuitBiscuit squashing goes ok.

Jacksmania · 01/10/2011 01:35

at BiscuitBiscuit squashing :o
Have had that done (pretty much almost mandatory here once you hit the big 4-0) - wasn't as bad as I thought it would be... but good luck to your mum anyway and hopefully no crumbs :o

Amber, you'll likely be in bed now - I hope you have a good sleep and that things look friendlier tomorrow? ((((HUG)))

Scout19075 · 01/10/2011 07:21

I would just like to say a Happy (Wedding) Anniversary to MrScout.

Not that he'll see the message, of course, but it's still nice to say. I can't believe it's been six years. ACK!

I've never had my BiscuitBiscuits squished. I've had them poked and prodded. And a scarey looking mole removed from one (which, because of the depth of it, the stitches kept splitting so I have a nice scar). On my honeymoon we found some scary lumps so I had my first encounter with the system known as the NHS within a month of getting married. Couple of needles and lumps all drained. Facinating to watch but something I'm not in a hurry to do again.

Ladies, I need a bit of fashion advice. Family member is getting married Dec 17th. I have no fitting nice clothes (thanks to pregnancy my body shape changed and then loosing 35-40 lbs hasn't helped on that front either) so am now on a hunt for something to wear. Given it's a Christmas wedding, and I so love green and Christmasy colors (deep cranberries, dark greens, etc), would it be tacky to wear a dress in one of those colors (or black, which also seems a popular choice in winter party dress colors)? And is it possible to find a dress that isn't going to cost me a fortune? I've been looking at Boden (I know, I know, MN cliche but I was wearing them long before I had heard of MN) and they have some fab dresses I love, but they're all over £100. I could wait and get something in the Thanksgiving/Black Friday sales but that just seems to be waiting too late to me....

Oh, and speaking of Thanksgiving, JM, are you getting ready for yours?

Scout19075 · 01/10/2011 07:34

Who's for Brew?

amberlight · 01/10/2011 09:04

I am.

Some Explaining has happened. Some things have been clarified. I haven't had a lot of sleep but now at least I know what's what. No-one hates each other. There are no bunfights. Just, I think, a simple misunderstanding about autism and friendships and what happens. Life is a learning environment. I learn new stuff all the time. So do others. It's all good. Not good at the time, but good in the long run (strange expression - do people have a long run?). Things that have almost no impact on others might have a very major impact on someone like me, and not everyone knew that.

I must apologise for the Bishops and their swimwear. And them posting the pictures and video on their blogs for all to see, as well - shocking! Shock

Must herd them back into the chapel...do excuse me...