Turkish Tearoom? Turkish Bath? Anyway, a Turkish delight awaits...

[MaryBS]

Picture the scene...

From the edge of every terrace and every step hang brilliantly white stalactites, and you can hear the joyful splashing of the waters of the hot springs as they cascade down over slopes where their flow is impeded only by clumps of oleanders.

Nearby is an oasis of refreshments, in our Pamukkale residence, air conditioned and with white washed generously proportioned rooms, with Mellors at the ready, to offer Turkish Massage to anyone who wishes.

The NMBs are in their element, whereas the bishops seem to have found their speedoes again.

Priest's hole is at the back, in a quiet shaded area, stocked with What Car magazines, Turkish rugs and Turkish delight

Do you mean that there is a possibility that after 6 weeks or so I might get my daughter back? I need at least to get to the library in the interim so that I have some distraction.

Quite honestly, I don't think DH has the patience to be with her all day ... he only ever manages it when I am at work. Otherwise, he is quite irritable and frustrated after an hour or so ... maybe why she is wishing me at work?

Wiggle also knows she is going to school soon, isn't she? Could she be thinking that DH will be getting up to more fun stuff with out her and she WANTS IN on teh fun. I suspect DH is going to have to get tough and explain that he has to "work" with out her sometimes and she HAS to get on with something else for a time. At 4, nearly 5 she should be old enough to grasp this eventually. It may not be popular tho .

Boy had some wobbles and was wanting to do younger toddler stuff just before he started school. He is still a daddy's boy and adores daddy days when I work. DH doesn't get much day time at home on his own. So boy sometimes has to chose between "helping daddy in garden " or playing in doors on his own.

I have no advice for older kids but am watching with interest, I'm sure JB will be going through similar.

CMOT, is your DH having knee surgery? Or is my memory utterly failing me? I really wish I could fly over and help out. If I could, I would, in a heartbeat.

Serpent, we are not at that age yet but, as DH works away a lot, we go through phases when nobody but daddy is good enough. As the one who is around the most I am generally the bad guy and even something as simple as me helping with pants instead of daddy can cause a meltdown. It feels very hurtful at times though.

I agree with CMOT that it is probably the fact that Daddy wants to get on with his work that means Wriggle wants to be with him. Is there any way that he could at least schedule an hour during the day to play with Wriggle whilst you get on with other things?

The period running up to starting school is also a strange one and talking to Small Bean's nursery manager last week about some behaviour things that he seems to have picked up from the bigger kids (name calling, answering back) she mentioned that this time of year seems to be 'silly season' amongst those starting school next month.

Sorry for a woffling post that's maybe not very helpful, I hope you have a better day tomorrow, dealing with a stroppy pre-schooler is very draining.

Would help?

In my experience, daughters go through a period of favouring their daddy over mummy (just as boys love their mummies). In a few years, they get into shopping in a big way, and thats something Daddy doesn't really do, fashion and clothes shopping! :)

I don't recall my daughter being a bit odd before she started school. I have always clashed with her, have been told this is because we are too much alike

I think my husband was a bit of a soft touch with her previously but now he is a bit tougher.

She was trying to do a bit of knitting last night and I was trying to explain something. In the end she went in a strop despite me being pretty calm throughout. It was stupid, she was asking me questions but wouldn't let me show her and prove to her that what I was saying was correct!

pkm - they do that a lot. Talk through the answer and tell you that you're wrong even though they've not listened....

Unserp - very superficial analysis, but I would think that at least some of is is down to this: "but will not tell her to go away; he expects her to be persuaded/lured away....'he does the playing while I do the discipline'". Its blatantly unfair to you for him to be the 'fun' one and you to be the 'discipline' one. Its also unfair to get cross at you if he doesn't have the balls is unwilling to tell her firmly that she can't be with him at times and needs to be with you. Why should you lure her when he can just tell her. All he needs to say is 'No, Wriggle, its not safe for you to be here when Daddy's working with the digger, you need to be with Mummy to stay safe. I will play with you later if you're good for Mummy'. Parenting is a team thing for the most part and both parents need, where possible, to set the same boundaries and both have parts of the good and parts of the bad.

However, I must say that, whilst MC might have problems settling at school, the only time that this overlapped into home life too was when he was 4 going on 5 - and he stopped shortly before he was 5. Much to the relief of everyone that knew him.

Much like my mother I find it very difficult to be patient when doing things with my offspring.. I am working on it.

I bought MC one of those doodle books yesterday to try to get him something he likes colouring in and drawing in carefully to improve his ability with a pencil - just hope that things like that stimulate him to do things. Although he did do a wonderful drawing of a car - with diagrams showing what it looked like inside, from the front, from the side, from the back and on-top - which I think was pretty amazing... But when he's on music week it will be easier for him to have a start to get going with because of the potential distractions all around I think.

Morning all. ?

Ok, back to work for me.

By the way, if anyone has any good thoughts to spare, wish me luck tomorrow at 1 pm my time (9 pm yours) - I'll be teaching a practice yoga class for the owners of the yoga studio where I'll be teaching (hopefully, anyway, unless I really screw up :)). Thanks!

Oh, it is that time, never mind the .

Hope all goes well tomorrow Jacksmania!

FIL back home today!

Thank you everyone for kind comments - I think I was getting a bit oversensetive! DH had a terrible childhood with a very aggressive, dismissive and emotionally abusive father. He just wants Wriggle to be happy and has no role model/experience to fall back on. His brothers also appear to be ridiculously over indulgent, but that is better than the alternative. I had great parents - I was the lucky one. I am not araid of saying no or seeing my child upset; DH is. The summer holidays will not last forever.

Saw your request too late, JM, but am wishing you retrospective luck. With the time difference, it should arrive in time.

UniS, your family sounds wonderfully well adjusted!

Quite looking forward to the shopping years!

Mistle, I got a lovely doodle book from Redhouse Books - full of really good ideas. I love doing it myself.

Hi guys,

My parents are around and so I haven't had much of a chance to pop in lately.

Sorry to see so many of you had really horrible days there a few days back. I hope everything works out for everyone with health issues at the moment, including ill husbands.

Mistle - I think you should get mc iq tested but I don't think anything more can be expected from his teacher. If it turns out he has a super high iq perhaps he could move to a school for gifted kids, or perhaps they have a stream for that at his current school? It is really hard if he is bored in school, particularly if you feel it is linked to his wanting to die type feelings. From the sounds of it he is already getting plenty of stimulation outside of school through his extra curricula activites, so at least that must help.

Serpent - LittleO makes these type of 'I wish you'd just go to work' type statements to dh alot lately. Dh works 70 hrs a week in a city 4-5 hrs away. LittleO makes statements like 'loving someone means you stay with them always' in front of dh. He also says 'I love you mommy, but I don't love daddy'. No advice, sorry , but just thought I'd let you know that my 4 year old also does a nice line in manipulation and making people feel miserable. Dh hates it, but also knows littleO does really love him, but perhaps is angry and upset at dh for being away so much and is taking out his feelings on dh.

btw had a lovely 'isn't it great having an only' moment today. LittleO and I went to the city for the day and we sat eating cakes for ages then went to the art gallery and looked at the installations for ages, and it was just lovely, and I thought 'I bet I couldn't do this if I had a toddler as well as a 4 year old!'

A&O its great doing something like that together isn't it! MC and I 'did' Powys castle a few weekends ago - and rather than rushing round possibly catching the quiz questions (if they were relating to animals) MC actually took quite a bit of interest in his surroundings - even pulling me back on one corridor to look at the statues that we hadn't had to look at for the quiz. Their grass maze is good too - mc got round it eventually (without cheating) although it was significantly too far for him to run (at the rate he set off at).

MC also comes out with comments such as 'I love you more than daddy' too - I try not to make too much of them, and luckily they normally come when its just MC and me rather than with DH there.

Off for a week soon - might be able to drop in, don't know what the connection will be like though.

This is the doodle book that I got ds - only one page that he's looked at so far that he thinks he might not do (fashion designer - dresses).

I also got him a 'travel games' book - has word searches, crosswords, sudoku etc - although its not designed for children. He's quite enjoying doing an 'easy' sudoku with me - getting the hang quite well. Although I am helping him in deciding which big square to look at filling in first... mind you, it was his first ever one so perhaps not surprising.

We're in Berks this weekend to celebrate my F'siL 70th and my birthday next week and I think I've walked into another family drama. ACK!

Oh no Scout, what's going on now? :(

Eek Scout !

How did the yoga class go JM ?

It's at 1 pm my time, 9 pm yours - I'm just looking over my material and talking to myself and doing weird movements in my living room, probably to the neighbours' delight :o

Fingers crossed JM!

Knees crossed as well, JM!

I'm not sure. I knew the three neices have been here/staying over for a few days. My BiL (the father of the five kids) called a little while ago and said to my FiL that after he put the children to bed (HA! I'm sure my SiL does it all) he wanted to talk to him and my MiL so he's coming over. ACK! I have three/four guesses as to what. My MiL said "what now?!" and "I'm not sure I can take much more" (she's had three family members die since May -- it was her mum that we just buried last week). I guess whatever should be said now and not family holiday in two weeks.

Think I need a to steel myself against any incoming drama. Anyone want to join me?

I've already poured one, Scout. Here's another . I hope it's nothing too bad.

Good luck JM!

Not sure where I've been this week other than feeling lousy after my migraine on Monday. So glad it's the weekend!

What have I missed?!?!

'evening all. No use to anyone at the moment so do have a glass of and don't mind me parking up in the priest hole which I have now renamed the totally secular safe space and evicted anyone resembling a faith leader.

er except Mary of course

Eek -- BiL just arrived for "his conversation." Eek! (Is it wrong that I want to stand outside the door with my ear pressed against it?)

What's up, amber? Anything you can talk about?