What to do after school

[abitlost]

Hi, I've got just one DC aged 5. She's just started reception and is finding it hard to settle. We moved here about 3 years ago and we made a few friends at baby groups. My problem is that now she's at school, we seem to have been left on the sidelines a bit. The friends we have seem to mostly have a 2nd child and their social lives revolve around toddler groups still. After school, they don't really seem to want to meet up. They've either got swimming and ballet type things or it's just too much of a rush and DCs, having just started reception, are too tired after school. Just wondered if anyone else felt a bit like this and what to do really. My DD hasn't really found any new friends yet to invite over for play dates. Seemed a lot of her friends from pre-school went to different schools. Any advice would be much appreciated - we're both a bit bored and lonely.

How about just starting to invite other DC from her class for playdates? They may not be special friends yet, but playing together out of school will show if they enjoy each others company or not, and some of them will probably become friends while others maybe won't.

If you and she like company, you may have to do more than your "share" of the inviting and hosting, as some parents (and children) are a bit more "take it or leave it" and are less quick to invite back.

Also, consider getting her into Rainbows or any other clubs you have within range, which will give her more chances to make friends.

yy, have a friend back after school. You say they're too tired - but that's only for now. Also, Rainbows or similar is a good idea.

I do know how you feel though, OP. But it doesn't last forever. Are there any other onlies - or DCs who are the youngest - in your dd's class?

The friends ds seems to spend most time with out of school are those with older siblings - their parents are already used to palming their dcs off their older dcs playing with a friend after school. And then before you know it, you'll be hosting sleepovers

Thank you for replies. Just feeling a bit down really as feel a bit "dumped" by friends. I would like to ask friends back from school but she hasn't really connected with anyone new yet. Will try Rainbows - that sounds like a good idea. Am pleased to hear it doesn't last forever Jenai.

I remember feeling a bit like that too, abitlost.

All my baby stage friends had 2nd (3rd even) babies and their lives were still very much in the preschool phase, iykwim. Whereas my one child was at school and I'd gone back to work fulltime. I used to feel very watching them waltz off to toddler groups and for coffee at each others' houses, whilst I sped off to work. And yes, I was sidelined. Not on purpose, I guess, but I did feel left out.

Don't worry about her not having connected with anyone yet. Plenty of time for that. But do make an effort - ask dd who she'd like to invite back. And do it! :)

Oh and do target the parent at the school gate with older DCs - they'll be far more open to the idea of their reception age dc coming round to play after school. Peoiple (me included probably) get quite PFB-ish about it, but are more used to it 2nd or 3rd time around.

Thank you Jenai - some great advice.

DD is 8y now and an only child.

We used to have lots of"playdates" and invited children round after school to play and have tea - once or twice a week initially. This has reduced off a lot now but still does happen. Simply not as much as DD has so many other activities going on after school with brownies, Climbing, library group, Drama, etc.

Am going to have to summon up the courage to ask some DCs round for tea. Thank you for replies.

Is there a park/ playground nearish to school that people drop by at after school?

On the days boy does afternoon preschool ( he'll be in reception in Jan hes 4.7) we drop into the park afterwards and there is always someone he can run about with and a mum/ gran/ dad/nanny or two to pass the time of day with. I sometimes think we go to the park for my sanity as much as for boys enjoyment.

by the time we get home its time to do few jobs, read a story or do speech therapy homework, watch some i-player and then Tea, story, bath n bed.

Hi UniS - There is a local park, and a good friend of DD's goes there in the summer, but it's so cold and wet at the moment. Will definitely do that when the weather gets better. Yes, I think my sanity is suffering too! I've just volunteered for Xmas fete in the hope that I meet a few more of the parents. Thank you.

Volunteering at the school is a really good move, abitlost :)

There should be a fair few more opportunities to join in - helping with clubs, jumble sales and so on. The school fundraising committee are always looking for helpers.