Tea Room the Nineteenth

[amberlight]

All in need of a restful break and a chat are more than welcome to the nineteenth Tea Room.

We find ourselves in the South of France, where the warm sunshine is just the thing for those who are missing the summer. The tea room has its aga and its distressed chintz sofa...and its potted plants. The usual fictional tea room inhabitants are here, as ever: Mellors, the gardener/handyperson with the handy ways with massage; the collection of tea room animals including the horses, camel, bison, guineapigs and sundry others; the Bishops and other faith leaders who joined us a while back and potter in for the occasional cuppa. It may not make sense, but that's not important. What matters is the lovely people here and the chance to just relax.

DutchOma, are you Amber's sister??? Or have I totally misunderstood?
Incidentally, I am much older than all of you.

No, I am not Donki or even Amber's sister. Amber has got a sister who lives with them, but it is not me.

I wondered if I had got it right!

Is this gonna be another of those guessing games, like who oxbloke is in RL???

But, UniS, we all know that Oxeye is HM The Queen and therefore OxBloke is HRH The Prince Philip.

Would anyone care for a sherry?

Yes. Sherry please. One does like sherry. The butler has just poured. Got to pop off. One of the corgis looks as if they are about to bury a couple of bones in the Aspidestra

I never actually thought Oxeye was the queen - however much she protests, she is not that old! A slightly more minor and far more dashing royal, I thought. I actually quite like sherry. When I lived in Spain, sweet sherry and lemonade was drunk by men and women alike in the summer.

JM: Keep perserving with the resting... you can do it. I hope this will be the last op you need to sort out your insides once and for all.

JM/Mistle/Anyone else who felt a pang of recognition in JM's introspection: I sometimes suspect that most people who seem to be most incontrol, hyper etc are the ones who try the hardest because they think that the fact that deep down they don't think they are like that and are desperately trying to fool the world. That's me, anyway. I strive for the outer appearence of being the strong sucessful type when most of the time I am far from feeling that way....

And also, I have admitted it to you before, I don't have any rl friends here. You lot are my inner social circle and being able to count on your support and advice is an important part off my life these days....

Oxeeye: We are not in any personal danger here. Thankfully I am not in a town on the border (I live nearer the centre of Tamaulipas state); but, unquestionably the drug war is also happenning here. Life goes on as usual, but the "narcos" are like the mafia in that they cootrol all the local businesses etc; they have infiltrated the police, the judiciary and the government. We operate on an informal curfew (no going out after dark). The rule of law is quite frankly a joke.....

Finally: my parents are coming over for Christmas.... they have been planning to since my mum was unable to come last year. They know about the border stuff, and some of the stuff that has happenned here. I think I ought ti tell them not to come; but as I say, life goes really go on as usual (apart from the curfew obviously)... Plus, we have no money nor chance of going to the UK in the near future, so this could be only time they see the grandchildren for a few years.... So I haven't said aything yet.

Hi Catita.

You're quite right. Often (I think) it's the people who feel least in control who put most effort into making it appear that they are in command of the situation.

I have no idea what to say about your parents coming for Christmas. How deterred are they likely to be by the drug war and the disorder? Would they want to come regardless? Are they the indomitable sort? (Mine would never contemplate travelling that distance, whatever the situation at the other end).

Have this generously-measured Scotch.

Well it's like this. If we were living with shootouts every day like on the border, and the town was manifestly in the hands of the narcos (like many are, on the border and lots of other places), I would tell them not to come. But it's not like that; we have sporadic violence here and a huge army and federal police presence. On a day to day level, it's not so bad. But .... violent shootouts are always a posibility. And I obviously am kkeen to avoid my parents witnessing one, as they are not very good for the nerves and less so for your physical integrity should you be unlucky enough to get in the way of a bullet.

My parents are coming because they want to see their grandchildren. They aren't intrepid travellers and have visited only once before (I've been here 11 years).

Will post more later re Cat's dilemma but just want to say, UnSerpent - I think Small outed your age at one point and so I think you are I are about the same age. I'll be 42 in April. So there :o

Must rush back and not overdo it at work.

Tea anyone? I have a spare bucket of it here.

My SIL's sister's husband was kidnapped, near Oaxaca! They had to pay rather a lot to get him back....

'tis very worrying.

I think that in any area of danger, people seek what normality they can, and make adjustments.

I am glad that Catita and family are not in any personal danger.

Scout, I hope that babyscout is feeling better. Being vomited on was never my favourite past-time...

JBM - I have not outed anyone's age. It is the case, though, that there are tea roomers who are a decade and more younger than me. But I am not yet 52.

Well I know that I am older than oxeye, if only by a matter of a couple of months; and older than JBM and by derivation UnSerpent; but younger than Small and DutchOma.

Since DutchOma is indeed an Oma, I think she may be the matriarch, no?

scout - glad you've arrived safely

Amber - am sending you a PM - look at the little teeny envelope at the very top of your page, it should have a red blob on it in the next few minutes.

Catita - I don't know - it's a tough one because you'd never forgive yourself if anything happened while they were out here, but equally you'd be very disappointed that they missed out if it was a quiet period with no happenings. Hope you find some resolution (and a new job for MrH!)

JBM - glad you've given your bits a chance to rest! And I know what you mean. Sometimes we drive ourselves harder to cover up the fact that we feel like we are just flying by the seat of our pants the whole time and that sooner or later someone is going to catch us out and reveal that actually, we haven't a clue. It's a kind of Impostor Syndrome. (I have it but without the 100mph life bit).

cinnamon rolls, lewd or otherwise, would be lovely - with some frothing hot choc, I feel since it is exorbitantly wet here and quite chilly.

I have always thought that umbrage sounds rather like a herb. A bit like coriander or lovage (one of my favourites). Maybe you could sprinkle a bit into the soup du jour demain, Small. Since you have now taken it.

Didn't see Thumbs post - I thought it was too warm and muggy where you are? DutchOma actually being an Oma doesn't give much clue as to her age. I have a friend who is also an Oma and she is a few years younger than me. When we were fostering children, we had one baby that we passed over to his grandmother (she took everyone of her daughter's babies after a few months) and she, the grandmother, was 33 or 34. Can't remember which now.

Speaking of ageing, I remember a conversation in the tea room a few months back about hot flushes and what to do about them. It occurred to me - to they actually matter? Do you have to do something about them. Due to, I think, the quantity and variety of hormonal treatments I had prior to the advent of Wriggle, I have had them on and off for years now without it every bothering me much. Should I worry?

I don't think you've mentioned fostering before, Serpent. When did you stop? Do you think you might do it again at some point?

I wish I knew the answer to the other question as I'm in a similar boat, I think. Someone here once recommended Menopace but I've yet to try it.

Weeelll - I think DutchOma is older than that, serpent - but only going by her picture on FB. :)

Amber and Mary - have sent you both a message in the Other Place - hope it's ok.

I like the sound of the herb umbrage, but feel it might have a somewhat bitter taste.

Serpent - the weather here is all over the shop. it was hot and muggy yesterday morning but teemed with rain in the evening and is still going (our swimming stuff was still on the line and is now wetter than when I hung it up!)

Considering playgroup - it is undercover but still...

When I came back to England, AP was fostering children. We did it together for a while, then gradually gave it up as it became impossible to do any good. In the name of 'parents' rights' (actually I suspect at least as much to do with saving money) fewer and fewer children were being removed from the most appalling families. And obviously a child should stay with its family if at all possible, but some of the children who came to us were not living in possible conditions. Sadly they are now basically left to get on with it in far too many cases.

If hot flushes are not worrying you - dont worry. They are only a problem if they bother you/wake you up/ keep you awake...

(Donki cheats and uses patches - but not because of hot flushes)

It should taste quite nice in a cup of tea :o [cheeky emoticon]
You're right, you didn't exactly, in numbers, out anyone's age. But there was mention of someone's age being a decade less than yours, and I remember thinking, FGS, I think I'm older than she is! Anyway - age is an artificial construct.

That being the case, I feel a bit ancient just right now... but only two more patients to go.

I think Catita's and everyone else's insight into my introspection is spot-on. When I feel insecure, I tend to go into outward overdrive. Silly, really... but it appears lots of us do it, so at least I'm not alone.

Cat, re: parents. I see what you mean about the danger. But I think you ought to let them come. I'm not quite sure why exactly I'm saying that, it's just how I feel.

Got BabyScout to the doctor today. It's just/still the infection from before. No meds (viral not bacterial) and to continue doing what we're doing warm baths w/steam, the humidifier on, Calpol to help with what I suspect is a sore throat from all of the coughing (he coughs and then wimpers). It's still better to be safe than sorry. Baby puke wasn't puke in the traditional sense of the word he's been coughing up whatever is going down the back of his throat. Still not nice, though.

Went to a couple of stores briefly today. As you may remember, the meds have caused me to lose a considerable a bit of weight. So I went to the store where I got my current jeans to see if I could get a new pair that fit. I did TWO sizes smaller than my current ones. Mom made some comment about how sizes changed to "vanity sizes" but my current jeans are only-- two years old (bought just before I got pregnant with BabyScout), and they haven't changed since then.

Chex Mix, anyone?

Cat, I, too, think you should "allow" your parents to make the trip. Tell them what's going on (though if they're like my parents they keep up on news of your adopted country) and let them make an informed decision on whether they make the trip.

Serpent, my hat goes off to you for fostering. I would think it's a tough job.

Catita, I would get your parents to come. You live there. They will be fine. Tell them enough but not all, they can decide. They will otherwise miss Gatita and Kittenito and you. I remember last Christmas. Your mum being well to come must have been something she has worked towards all year....

Hot flushes - yes Serpent, I asked. I have them a lot, due to hormone treatment/ no hormones/ heck knows what etc etc. You don't have to do anything unless (like me) you were getting bothered by them - I found it hard to sleep (like being in a sauna) and tough when eating (made me come out as if I'd had the hottest of madras curry)

Amber suggested Menopace and indeed, I have been taking them - the botanical ones because I think a bit of umbrage in drugs always helps. (as an aside, comfrey is my favoured herb) - back to HF - they do work in helping symptoms. But the (whispers) make your wee a very funny colour