Tea Room the Nineteenth

[amberlight]

All in need of a restful break and a chat are more than welcome to the nineteenth Tea Room.

We find ourselves in the South of France, where the warm sunshine is just the thing for those who are missing the summer. The tea room has its aga and its distressed chintz sofa...and its potted plants. The usual fictional tea room inhabitants are here, as ever: Mellors, the gardener/handyperson with the handy ways with massage; the collection of tea room animals including the horses, camel, bison, guineapigs and sundry others; the Bishops and other faith leaders who joined us a while back and potter in for the occasional cuppa. It may not make sense, but that's not important. What matters is the lovely people here and the chance to just relax.

Hurrah for baby scout! Look out Scout indeed

Amber - good news re That Site - I hope that they never go that route again. Silly people for not checking things like the Equality Act previously. Hope they learn a Good Lesson.

MT - lol re pony stories.

Talking of NMBs, I found some RL naked cake babies yesterday! Went to an amaaaaazing cake decorating shop to get stuff for miniThumb's birthday cake and Christmas etc. Haven't decided what to do for his birthday cake yesterday but found some nice candles, some coloured edible glitter, some lovely seacreature decorations, tiny trains and some edible dinosaurs (as you can see, I got confused carried away)

I have no advice on the blowing instruments - when we were in England my Dad gave miniThumb a mouth organ to play - he had a great time blowing it! But that has no finger involvement of course. Good for practising blowing, that's about it. I don't even know where my old recorder is, which is a real shame because it's a wooden one and therefore less prone to squeaking than the plastic ones (I found).

Hope RacingPig is ok after the trauma - have you seen G-Force yet? one of the guineapigs in there is submitted to similar trauma (without the xylophone) and comments that she "looks like Paris Hilton's chihuahua."

I honestly think the site owner had never seen the new guidance on the Equality Act. It says really clearly that service providers absolutely must not permit their customers to harass or intimidate other customers because of any protected characteristic (disability, sexuality, race etc). That's a very new bit of law.

Previously message board owners thought that only their own staff had to be respectful of difference, but the customers could say what they liked to them.

Amber - I'll take you up on breakfast please... can I have a full cooked vege one?

Ocarinas - mistlechick could go to an ocarina group at school from this year (year one (!!!!!)) however, we've not suggested that he goes as its in lunch time and he already does French one lunchtime and we don't want to occupy any other potential running around time. I think they were kept inside yesterday - because when I got him home, even though he'd had yogabugs (really recommend btw - mc loves it!) he was completely hyper. So - ocarinas - I would think that they're a good start - but check on the tuning as has been said. MC does have his violin - currently its trying to fit any time in to play it....

Scout - glad you saw it. MC waited until he was at nursery - and then we were asked 'when did he learn to do that'... the following day he was running circuits around the kitchen table. I think that he studied it and made sure that he was going to be able to do it and so he was really good when he finally went for it - he was 14.5mo so not exactly early, not that we encouraged him particularly

I'm pretty peeved with school. He's now got a sticker book so that I can tell what sort of day he has had without having to see the teachers - it keeps on coming back with 'MC kept on disturbing the class by shouting out today' and similar things. We can't do more than we do - he's basically in tears every evening in the car on the way home because he didn't get a smiley face or a sticker. But we're not there during the day. And he's starting to say things like 'I don't like school' and 'I don't want to go to school'. Quite how 2 experienced teachers (they share teaching and deputy head duties) and an experienced TA with a class of only 18 children with wonderful teaching opportunities can be turning off a bright, interested, inquisitive child I really don't know. However, parent's evening coming up. And I'm not going to stand for 'he keeps on interrupting' because he's already confirmed to me that he wouldn't be doing it if I was sitting in the corner of the classroom.

When I've been previously to see them, I talked of various things that I've seen suggested - for instance, he will often be fiddling with somethign to the extent that you think he's not listening at all but he is, actually, taking absolutely everything in - so I mentioned that and they said they might try something tactile for him that they had already got in as a teaching aid - but he's told me that the TA has told him that they don't have things to fiddle with. I have also suggested one of those feedback cushion things might also help, particularly when sitting on the carpet - have they got one to try - no they haven't. It seems to me that all the onus is being put on us at home - but we're doing all we can to back the school up and they're failing miserably.

Sorry, rant over

MT, yes, they are not doing their best for him at all. Tactile toys are not a huge cost for a school, and neither are other things that can help a child to concentrate. Arrgh.

Did you have any 'special requirements' that helped with schools for the fine lad when he was little Amber?

Nice breakfast, thanks. I like crispy not oily eggs....

When he was little, we only knew that he was very, very difficult to manage (diagnoses came later), so there weren't specific things for him. He did ok in a private nursery working alongside a family friend of ours who knew him well enough to be able to reason with him. Then he went on to a brilliant primary who know how to do the right things anyway and did them without needing much specialised stuff (for him, quiet classrooms with proper desks, lots of structure, really clear instruction, quiet and caring staff etc). He used to get told off a lot, but fairly. He really was quite disruptive

Amber - I think mistlechick is towards that end of things. Quiet definitely helps. Set him to do something he really wants to do and he can really concentrate. But he gets distracted really easily... like reading a book, he's currently still more interested in looking at the picture - I tolerate that - after all, what's the point in having pictures if you don't look at them - but I think that might be another thing that he gets criticised about.

I must say that it was with great trepidation that I got him some underwear which had the names of the days on it - I wondered whether I was creating a rod for my own back. However, as he gleefully announced yesterday that he was going to wear Friday's pants even though it was a Monday, I feel a lot more . It actually sums him up quite well - a bit rebellious!

I look at pictures all the time. They're the only things that make proper sense in many books and magazines and sites . People think I'm joking but I'm not - otherwise I have to convert every word and sentence to pictures anyway, then think of a response and convert those pictures back to words. No wonder sometimes what I write comes out as if someone's translated Greek via Chinese and back to Greek again.

I think I shall go to the parent's evening armed with articles on how to teach your child when they find it hard to sit still, like to fiddle with things, get easily distract etc - and ask them what they've actually tried with him.

I think, in many ways, HE woudl be ideal for him. Although I wouldn't be able to do it for him - it would drive me up the wall . But then he would miss out on the social life of school which he does really enjoy.

Sympathies Mistle, tiddler is quite similar, and argues as to why he can't expand on the words in his reading book by adding the detail in the book - so todays says 'dan went in' and ds will say 'dan went in to the kitchen and got some biscuits'

Ocarina def Serpent - one of the Steiner ones that is tuned so that it always makes a nice sound

Thanks CMot - glad its not just MT.

Stories would, of course, be much more interesting that way too....

Hi all, just a quick note from the couch :)
Op went well, I had lovely care and a reasonably good night last night. I think it ended up being a bit more extensive than I (or the surgeon) thought it would be, but according to the nurse who was in theatre with me, the surgeon did a beautiful job.
I have to say that when I woke up from the anaesthetic, it was unexpectedly and surprisingly painful - I'm sure I have some seriously outraged nerve endings down there :o. But they were lovely and kept giving me meds until it settled. And I have been diligently taking my painkillers and using my ice pack.
For anyone who's concerned about my tendency to overdo things, I have eagle-eyed DH and my lovely mum pinning me to the couch with steely looks :o
Ok, nap time. xxJM

Glad to hear it went well, JBM.

Wishing you a swift recovery JBMama

keep your feet up JM.

2nding ocarina- or maybe penny whistle. boy gets on better with penny whistle than recorder as he can cover all the holes on a PW. not making tunes yet, but can produce a note if he trys.

EEEEK to real life NMBs! did you buy one?

It rained today, so boy and I spent a good hour cutting up old copies of a hunting shooting fishing mag we have been passed on. The kitchen is littered with wobbly cut outs of guns, dogs, quad bikes and wellies. ho hum. It WAS good scissor practise.

best go say good night now.
Going to try ringing again tonight, see how teh arm/ tendons/ shoulder cope with it.

Mistle, the teacher's point of view you have to counteract is: a) he is one of 18 and if he gets special treatment, they'll all expect it; b) he should learn how to control himself and won't if we give in to him; c) I am the professional and know how to teach; d) if he had discipline at home and were not pandered to in this way, he wouldn't have these problems at school. I am NOT agreeing with them, just repeating what I hear in the staff room all the time. So that you can prepare yourself for it. This is why I am so miserable at the thought of Wriggle going to school.

Off now to find a website to buy an ocarina.

Glad all well JM

AGAGAGHH Mistle. It makes me so sad that wonderful children are just seen as trouble by those meant to look after them - reflected well by Serpent's depressingly accurate analysis of the staff room

I know there are some wonderful teachers (as you were Racing and Tea) but it was the sheer negativity of the staff room that put me off teaching. I was in a convent. The girls were amazing and lovely yet you'd think the staff were... well I don't know

I need a patience pill. I run out of steam at bed time and become more than a little intolerant. Poor Oxboy. I don't want his last thought at night to be how sharp and horrid his mummy is

HOt choc any one?? with a bit of toffee apple cake to help it along?

IS Oxboy at school already? I can't remember? Or is he a Jan starter like uniboy? Uni boy is wearing school uniform to preschool most days now!

I'm wondering if school will be able to persuade boy to think with his mouth shut, as I have so far failed. He's becoming a right "hello clouds hello sky , lalalalalal, look I found this fascinating bit of fluff to look at " child.

Going to bed in a minute but wanted to say:

JBM, keep those feet up and that ice on as needed. And if I find out you're not I will be on the same continent on Saturday and I WILL go find you and force you to rest!

oxeye, please don't beat yourself up. I start to lose it by bedtime, too, and find the final nappy change one change too many for both of us. Cue whining, wiggling away, and full on crying/tears. My saving grace is after nappy and "potato sack" (gro-bag/sleeping bag thing) is milk, and we sit and cuddle while BabyScout has his final drink. And while after he'll normally try to flip over (he's a tummy sleeper), he lets me carry him to bed and is starting to cuddle my neck or snuggle into me as I do.

I remember my first time as a "teacher" in the staff room (it was while I was doing my pre-student-teaching) and I realized that was probably why I always felt a bit pigeon-holed in elementary school (we had under 200 students in K though 8, and only 20 in my graduating class).

No steps today. Though he was standing, lost his balance, stepped back (one foot) to catch himself and succeeded, then brought that foot back forward. Then fell over in the end. Very funny to watch!

I'm making BabyScout a poster-board sized family tree, including details such as full name, relationship (to him) and birthday (as well, of course, a picture). Any other suggestions of things I can do so he has pictures of family around him in a "baby-friendly" way?

Oxeye, I wish I was a wonderful teacher. Far too often it is just me with the 37 of them and the Head has been unpleasant about something and I am impatient and vile. I just know how I should be.

JM, glad it went well; which I could offer a little nugget of good advice, but suspect you know about how to look after yourself. Have some hazelnut chocolate.

Hot chocolate and cake? Fabuloso!

I am laughing at the idea of Boy as Fotherington-Thomas. Not the image I had of him at all. I was thinking more Just William (in a very endearing kind of way).

Oxeye - Do you have experience at the, ahem, chalk face?

I am always pretty impatient by bed time. I just want some uninterrupted time when I can drink wine, MN and watch rude stuff on dvd without having to reach constantly for the off button to answer questions about where SmallGirl has left her PE kit/violin/random item required urgently for school/head. I feel your pain.

pass the hot chocolate. Mine is laced with Baileys

Yes, I have chalk face experience of sorts

UniS don't worry about the mouth open. Technically I think it's called an unresolved reflex. I do it all the time, especially with physical endeavour (classy bird, me!)

Oxboy going to school in January, yes, I must remember to get some uniform!

I mind about the bedtime because often it's the only time of day I have with him. He came to the door and when I said BED! he said "but I want a cuddle mummy. You didn't cuddle me" he knows how to push my buttons that one!!!

My top tip: Do cherish all the cuddles. SmallGirl has this term decided that she is Too Old and Sophisticated for a goodbye kiss in the playground of a morning. So, obviously, I chase her around the school grounds, all puckered up, just to show that I Know My Rights As A Mother.

ah yes, the cuddles. He is great at that - except he's a jumping kitten at the moment, which makes it hard

I loved that thread where the DS always had to hold his mum's hand - and still offered it to her even though he's 20+ now.... keep chasing those kisses!

Its when I do a slurpy one and he rubs it off going ""MAAUUUUMMM" I get a hint of the teenager to come

right, going to log off, must finish work so can go to bed!

I so know what you mean about that waning patience thing - by the end of the evening, miniThumb is quite often seriously revved up (not helped by MrT offering him another piece of chocolate, despite my telling him not to - he seems to think it is his "right" as a parent to do what he likes and then leave me to deal with the fallout ) and it does just get to a point where I want to walk out sometimes.

:( re school ishoos - I hope that something can be done to help MC rather than punishing him.

Am also re Fotherington-Thomas aspect of Uniboy - again, not my image of him!

Oxeye - didn't know you'd done teacher stuff - when was that?

JBM - you'd just better stay put on that sofa, lady! . Make the most of having people running around after you - although not sure about the icepack, having cold wetness there can't be all that comfy! Do you have a doughnut ring to sit on? [innocent]

Scout - steps will return and then watch out!

Just a quick qu though - I think I noticed Donki on FB earlier, somewhere on an amber post - has she been invited to That tearoom?

Chocolate cake, hot choc with baileys all sound fab -