Just recieved a call from ds new nursery which has reallly upset me

[Knakard]

Bit of background, ds is 12 months and has just started a new nusery this week he goes 2 days.

He has been going to nusery for about 3 months in a lovely little local one which we put him in as an interim thing as hte waiting list for the one we really wanted was massive.

He has always got on well at nursery and settled in really quickly, the only issue there has ever been is that he does bite from time to time when he is teething. He used to do it at home occasionally and we always said no and ignore him for a moment or two and he got alot better and hasnt bitten at home for a good few months.

They also got the hang at his nursery of knowing when he was about to bite and saying no which stopped him. Now we told the new urery all of this before he started and they were quite relaxed about it and said yeah we get biters all the time etc. quite normal at that age.

When i picked him up after his 2nd day yesterday the staff told me they had had a problem with him biting and that he had done it a few times, they said it was good that he understood no and that he always stopped if they managed to catch him before he did it. talked to they about how we managed it at home and said he hadnt done it for a long time maybe he was a little over whelmed with a new nursery with lots more in his group and he is the youngest by about 2/3months so maybe it was all a bit much. They agree with all of this and said they would just keep a closer eye on him.

Anyway this morning i have had a call from his key worker very upset. She said the little girl he bit (they never told us yesterday it was a child)s mother was fuming! She was on the phone to this woman at home all evening with the woman just going nuts, saying things like "well my children are brought up to share" and "we dont need children like that a this nursery" (quite well to do area). She has basically said she will not have her child in at the same time as my little boy. The Nurse said she explained to her this put everyone in a very difficult postition and said she tried to explain to this woman she was going a little OTT.

So i am going in for a chat with keyworker on Monday but what do i do? A child of 12 months dosent bite maliciously FFS! And this silly womans specific comments have really bloody riled me! i Can understand her being upset but what does she expect us to do!!!

Thanks for reading

Message withdrawn

The mother is ridiculous. My DS was bitten at nursery on the nose, apparently the mother of the biter mas mortified and I wanted to talk to her to reassure that I understood some babies are biters and make her feel better! But, nurseries are not supposed to reveal the identities of the children so that parents don't bully other parents, which is what this mother sounds like.

Stand your ground knakard!

FGS - the nursery staff/owner had no right to involve you - I am so glad you stood your ground, but they need to learn to stand theirs. DS was bitten and was occasionally the biter at nursery - DD has bitten me once or twice and I have come down like a ton of bricks (she is older than the OP's DS) but I have never had any reports of it happening at nursery.

Conversations with you and with the mother of the bitten child should be entirely separate and if she/her DH can't stand the thought of their precious baby being bitten (or presumably hit / otherwise "assaulted" then I hope they can afford to have a nanny / Home Educate for the rest of his/her childhood).

I can't see that the nursery owner is going to have a fun career either if she is going to allow people to bully her like this. How on earth will she keep the nursery running if she panders to this type of nonsense.

Has there been any developments? Did you get the call, or did you have to call them?

Hi guys, sorry it took me so long to update bloodly internet been down for 3 days!!!!

I called her in the end and it was quite breif really she said it was all resolved and not too wory they are just goning to be kept seperate for now to be reviewed on a fornightly basis. When asked if the other woman was ok with this (which i found hard to believe) she just said well she will have to be and apologised for any undue stress caused to me and thanked me for being so helpful.

I thought it was a bit odd that after all the polava it was she "easy fixed" till when dropping Reed off today i had a quick word with one of the staff just to ask for reassurance that this woman did not know who my boy was and she dropped in that the nursey own had rang ofsted herself I(which i told her to do) who had given them guidence on how to deal with it. THAT EXPLAINS IT!!!

So all seem over and done with for now.

Thanks for all the support

I'm glad it seems to be getting resolved. I am amazed the nursery owner needed OFSTED's assistance to figure out that she had been handling this badly though. Would raise huge question marks for me over the whole place, lovely ponies or not.

Glad it's all sorted, hope that you don't run into this woman again when your DS moves up (actually the inner bitch in me is hoping that the girl in questions bites someone! )

I can understand why you're upset; the other mother is being unnecessarily persecutory and the nursery have made a bit of a hash of dealing with the situation.
My dd was scratched quite nastily in the face on 2 occasions by a child her own age (18 mths)soon after she started nursery. Although it was really distressing, children do do these sorts of things. I spoke to the nursery about steps they were going to take to reduce the risk of it happening again (ie ensure that there is a worker near this child at all times, speak to his parents about triggers etc at home, ask his parents to cut his nails) which seem to have been successful. I kept thinking that if it was my child doing the scratching (which it might be one day......), I would like to think that the nursery would offer her support to communicate with other children more effectively.
PP are right; if they ask you not to bring him in, they're basically admitting that they have no idea of how to deal with very normal baby/toddler behaviour, which doesn't really inspire faith.

nursery nurses are not allowed to tell you who bit who, as it can cause problem between parents!!!!