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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

close to home vs close to work

62 replies

thomasina1 · 03/09/2008 10:59

Trying to decide! First baby (not born yet!) so I've no idea really! Planning on going back to work 3 or 4 days a week when she is about 9-11 months old. I live in London and have 40-60 min drive to work outside of London.

If baby is in a nursery close to home, she will be there for slightly longer days (although DH and I will share drop off/pick-up and stagger it so hopefully should be 8.30 - 5.30). But then I will be further from her in case of emergencies and it means relying on DH to get her ready in the mornings!

If she is in a nursery close to work I could manage everything and she would be there for slightly shorter days BUT would be in the car for potentially 2 hours each day.

Any advice??

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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poorbuthappy · 03/09/2008 11:22

Personally I went with close to home...
my dd has been at nursery now more or less with the same kids for the last 2 years, and has just started school nursery with many of the same children.

If she'd gone into nursery closer to where I work (40mins away) then she would now be with all new kids in school nursery and at the private nursery who do the wrap around care for me...

Also (sorry for waffling), if you have family locally you may need to them to pick up occasionally and its easier when the nursery is local to home rather than work...

Just my humble opinion!

anniemac · 03/09/2008 11:34

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Smittals · 03/09/2008 11:40

Deffo close to home. For the reasons above, plus if you are sick you can easily crawl to nursery to drop off, then crawl home to bed!

Original poster

thomasina1 · 03/09/2008 12:06

Thanks for the thoughts so far. I don't have family locally so wouldn't have any back-up if I was running late or if my daughter was ill... my husband could go to pick up if needed but he would still be about 40 mins away and his job is much busier than mine...

I am confused! Can see the benefits of being close to home but am currently veering towards the close to work option - would anyone support this?

OP posts:

anniemac · 03/09/2008 12:35

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Original poster

thomasina1 · 03/09/2008 12:55

No, DH works in central London - about 40 mins from home including walking/tube. My journey to work is about 50 mins by car in the other direction.

OP posts:

Bunch · 03/09/2008 13:03

My SIL uses a nursery close to work, they live about almost an hours drive away. I feel sorry the the DCs sitting in the car in rush hour for that amount of time (although she just plonks a dvd on for them and thinks thats fine) also, when the DC get invited to parties from nursery friends they are all in the work area so my SIL has to get her DC there on a Sat sometimes.

anniemac · 03/09/2008 13:08

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Original poster

thomasina1 · 03/09/2008 13:18

anniemac that is a really good point which my pregnant brain had overlooked - I do sometimes have to go to meetings at other locations so would be in trouble then!

Maybe I will investigate the ones close to home and if I really don't like them I will rethink. The problem is that they will have to be REALLY close to home to enable DH to walk there and then walk to the tube reasonably easily.

Oh, this is so confusing! Thanks ladies for your help so far.

OP posts:

bundle · 03/09/2008 13:21

home here too

Ewe · 03/09/2008 13:23

Def close to home, if baby is ill a 60min journey home on public transport would be awful, especially if being sick etc.

Botbot · 03/09/2008 13:25

Close to home. Our company relocated 3 months after I went back - I'd have had to find a new nursery for dd. And I really wouldn't fancy taking her on my commute - too stressful for all concerned (including the other passengers )

TigerFeet · 03/09/2008 13:26

I went for close to home.

DH works in the other direction so it was central to both of us.

I also thought that spending time at nursery was preferable for her than being stuck in the car for up to two hours a day.

I'm so glad I did, I changed jobs after a year or so and ended up working in a different town, had she been at nursery near work I would have had to uproot her.

Pinkjenny · 03/09/2008 13:28

Close to home. Dd is absolutely exhausted after a full day of nursery, and tends to whine a lot in the car on the way home, which fortunately only takes 5 minutes. She soon perks up when we get inside the house, but I wouldn't fancy having her in the car with me on my commute (2 hours a day).

anniemac · 03/09/2008 13:35

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anniemac · 03/09/2008 13:37

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bamboostalks · 03/09/2008 13:43

I actually have my dd in a child minder near work I prefer it as if there is a problem I can get there really quickly. Although my commute is only about 20-30 minutes.

HonoriaGlossop · 03/09/2008 13:52

My instinct would be to have the child near me...as you say, so that you're close by if there's an emergency. Also if the baby is almost a year old then IMO there could be some quality time on the journey...singing, talking, etc. I would have liked the idea of them being with me for an extra 2 hrs a day rather than at nursery.

So I see where you're coming from.

I also think you shouldn't be put off by 'having' to rely on your DH to get her ready. He should be capable - it's not expecting too much!!!

I think it might be one of those things you can only judge when the baby is here; my ds for instance was very whingey in the car so an hour would have been a stressful journey for us (so thank goodness I didn't have this dilemma!!!) but some kids would be fine with it. I think if you spend six months dealing with a baby who screams the place down as soon as they can smell the car seat, you will naturally find you come to the conclusion that close to home would be better.......you could register at the nearer-work nursery just in case? and then see how you go?

thehairybabysmum · 03/09/2008 14:13

My Ds's are in nursery at my work as it is heavily subsidised (im v lucky i know!). I have had experience of both options as i also used a v. local nursery whilst awaiting for a place to come up at my work nursery.

The pluses are as you say, in case of ilness they are v near and that it is less actual time in nursery for them.

For me, my work is only 15 mins by bike or 30ish mins walk away so they are not subjexct to a big journey anyway.

But the cons have only really become apparent when i was on mat leave with DS2...so whilst on leave i still had to come here 3 days a week to drop off DS1 (my choice i know), would have been much easier with nursery round the corner.

I do not have a car so currently cycle but when pregnant did use bus as i had SPD and i can confirm that the commute can be grim with a hungry toddler, especially in winter or if traffic worse than usual...i imagine it would be the same in a car too.

I would recommend nursery nearer to home (esp if also more convenient for your DH too), unless you get a half price one near your work that is, in which case cost outweighs nearness.

Also regardless of your decision just make sure it is a nursery you are happy with. That is more important than anything else for peace of mind.

HarrietTheSpy · 04/09/2008 01:26

Nursery nearer home was a hassel for us, as I relied on the tube to get back. Regularly down, chaotic and difficult to board at 5.20, etc. Even if I left my office an hour before pick up (journey should tkae 20 min), i was still sometimes late because it was so packed I couldn't get on the train at htat time and got charged £1 per minute. So, I was not getting all my work done and failing to get to her on time - lose lose situation. Because we were going home slightly later, we missed all the malarky that surrounds the 5-6.15 pm tube journey. Loved having DD close to me when she went to the nursery near work. Used to have picnics in Finsbury Park after work. In the mornings I had my latte and she had her hot milky drink.I did enjoy the extra time with her.

fettle · 04/09/2008 14:34

I was forced to use a nursery near to work, as the one near home was full, but with hindsight it was I loved it.

Benefits
nearby in an emergency/illness
able to pop out to sports days/open days etc
shorter days actually in nursery
quality time together in the car, singing/chatting etc - I loved this time with DD
No chance of late fees if you get held up at work for any reason

Negatives
falls asleep on way home, but as she got older this stopped.
pain to drop them off if you are not going to the office for work
have to have them at home with you when you are ill yourself!
having to stop for wees on the way home while potty training! (That was fun!!!).

As I said with hindsight, I much prefered having DD near me while I was at work, despite the negatives above. And we actually moved to a completely different place, but still about 45 mins from work, but she didn't need to change nursery as I stayed in my old work. Only problem came when I went back on maternity leave, I had to move her then as I wasnt' going to commute 45 mins there and back just to drop her off! Decided not to go back to work now with my DS and DD starting school, but probably would have taken DS to same nursery near work if I'd gone back as it was great!!

Good luck with your decision!

SilverSparkle · 04/09/2008 15:07

HI,

When i had my first child, i put him into a nursery near home (i work about 25 min drive from work). I hated it when he was ill and needed to get to him quick especially in rush hour.

After having my second child we put both of them into a nursery near work and i have to say, i much prefer it. I love knowing that they are close by in case i need to get to them quickly. Its a comfort.

Hope it all works out well for you.

TheGreatScootini · 04/09/2008 15:21

Close to home.
My commute is about an hour and a quarter each way, traffic dependent.I didnt want DDs to be in the car for that long every day-no fun for them.Also they get to know kids from local area etc...

Bu(the selfish part), what I didnt realise when I made that decision pre babies being born,is that that those 2 hours or so a day are pretty much all the time I get to myself.So I get to listen to music uniterrupted, listen to the radio and know whats happening in the world and now I am using the time to learn Italian from CD's..If I had the DD's in the car they would be kicking off, or bored, or crying and I would arrive at work even more stressed than I am already.Plus on my way home it gives me time to process whats happened at work that day and put it to the back of my mind so Im ready to be Mummy again when I get back and Im not thinking about work at all.
If I have to work and its going to take an age to get there I may as well use the time for something useful I guess..

mppaw · 04/09/2008 15:28

I put my DD in a nuresery near my work and am now expecting DC2 and am moving her to a local nursery. I wish I had put her in a local one from day 1.
Reasons :
Getting her to and fro a London nursery is solely my responsibilty.
An hours car journey each way in rush hour, not much fun for either of us.
Not close enough to put her in nursery if I am off work.
When ill, nice to get to her quickly, but still a rubbish journey home for her while I drive.

lynniep · 04/09/2008 15:47

oh what a decision! I had the same one to make before DS was born - had an hours commute, as did DH

I initially went for the taking the baby to work option, however I realised pretty quickly after DS arrived there was no way on earth I could do that to him. He hated being in the car and I can't stand a baby yelling for 5 minutes, never mind longer. He wouldnt sleep for the whole journey and the stress for both of us would be massive.

Um, then I resigned and now work from home!

Sorry that wasn't helpful was it - ok will try harder now.

My only advice is - try not to stress about it now because its not really a decision you can make until you meet your LO. And how they are in the car when they are born may be very different from when they are a bit older and more alert. You also don't know how you feel - you might desperately want to see them as soon as you can - or you might prefer to wind down after work and let them enjoy a bit more time at nursery.

By the time they are a few months old you will probably have a whole new network of friends and support that you don't currently have - I now have friends that I didn't know before DS was born, but whom I would trust completely to pick him up in an emergency if needs be (and only in an emergency - they have their own LO's to worry about!) More importantly - he knows them, so wouldnt be frightened. As I dont have family locally either this is such a wonderful thing - I met them all through baby groups - swimming, M&T, at the baby clinic, etc. My best friend I met at weightwatchers when trying to get rid of my baby fat!

Things will work themselves out. In the meantime, do your homework and check out all suitable nurseries both near home, and near work. There are also the childminder options - if you decided to leave the baby nearer hom e would you feel better if he/she were with a childminder who is perhaps more involved with your child, than in a nursery environment? Can you find out who will be available locally and meet them. you may find one you would feel 'happier' ( I know - wrong word) with in a situation where you couldnt get back quickly.

Good luck

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