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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

close to home vs close to work

62 replies

thomasina1 · 03/09/2008 10:59

Trying to decide! First baby (not born yet!) so I've no idea really! Planning on going back to work 3 or 4 days a week when she is about 9-11 months old. I live in London and have 40-60 min drive to work outside of London.

If baby is in a nursery close to home, she will be there for slightly longer days (although DH and I will share drop off/pick-up and stagger it so hopefully should be 8.30 - 5.30). But then I will be further from her in case of emergencies and it means relying on DH to get her ready in the mornings!

If she is in a nursery close to work I could manage everything and she would be there for slightly shorter days BUT would be in the car for potentially 2 hours each day.

Any advice??

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

CatIsSleepy · 04/09/2008 15:50

close to home
could not face the thought of commuting with dd
and dh shares pick-ups and drop-offs
just easier all round

Original poster

thomasina1 · 04/09/2008 15:54

Hmmm, lots of really good points, thanks! You have been very helpful as I knew you would be!

I think I am going to view nurseries close to home as my first preference for the following reasons:

makes things MUCH easier on the occasions when I am not working in the usual office (meetings, working from home, travelling etc.)
drop-offs/pick-ups will not be solely my responsibility
get to know other children/parents in the area
avoid 2 hours in the car for DC

So I've been investigating 2 nurseries where I live and am now balking at the fees... £1200 - £1500 a month I kid you not!!! Although maybe this won't surprise any of you

OP posts:

mollythetortoise · 04/09/2008 15:57

definately close to work. In fact am moving my ds from a work nursery to a close to home one next week. Bringing him on the tube every day ain't fun.. plus close to home you don't need to collect him if you need to go somewhere e.g doctors appt or see teacher at dd's school. You can just collect at normal time and they are none the wiser!

bozza · 04/09/2008 15:57

close to home for me too. DH did drop off and I did pick up so slightly staggered days. I rather dispute the quality time at rush hour at the end of the day with the chance of child sleeping in car and not being ready for bed subsequently. Possible to get to know local children/parents. Can send them if you are ill. etc.

CatIsSleepy · 04/09/2008 15:58

maybe check out some childminders?

mollythetortoise · 04/09/2008 16:01

my messageshould have said definately close to home NOT work!

MrsAlwaysRight · 04/09/2008 19:53

Closer to work. All my friends who had babies before me recommended this. If they are ill you are close by and also if you are running late, stuck in traffic etc you don't have so far to go so less stressful.

stephla · 05/09/2008 00:36

I would say " near home" every time:

No screaming child in car (very dangerous and bad for mental health)
OR
One hour car journey = one hour sleep = child not sleepy when you get home = no grown up time with husband
You will plug into the local mums support network - they will help you out, you will help them out. Not so useful 40 mins away.

4)You will be invited to lots of birthday parties as your child gets older. The kids will be local to nursery. Do you want to have to drive to work at the weekends too?! Or can you explain why you won't be going to your 2 year old?

If you are ill (and you will be exposed to lots of bugs you don't get at the moment), how are you going to get the baby to nursery 40 mins away? They will have to stay home with you (not good)

If they are ill, you leave work immediately and you are there in an hour. Not ideal but I have done this for 4 years and it was fine.

Hope this helps. Remember, you can always start at one nursery and if it doesn't work out, change to another.

elkiedee · 05/09/2008 00:55

I'd also recommend looking at CMs - if you're in London you may have some living really near you - I panicked at first that they'd all be miles away but then ended up visiting two within 5 mins walk of home, and it's even en route to the tube station. Some people locally come up and say hi (ds's name) who don't even know us.

But whatever childcare option you choose, I would think near home - I'd think near work would have to be subsidised or wonderful to make it worth it.

potatofactory · 05/09/2008 08:03

We thought our dd's day would be shorter if we didn't drop her off at home, and then had to drive to work. We went for one on the way to work, so it's not too far to get home after nursery, and not too far to get to the nursery from work if there's a problem. Plus, if we want to use the nursery space during the hols (we are teachers, and will have paid for the space) then it's not too far to drop dd off. All a compromise, so no aspect is perfect, but nothing's a real negative either.

MrsMattie · 05/09/2008 08:04

I would always go for closer to home. Less knackering all round.

herbgarden · 05/09/2008 08:45

I have a close to work nursery but I don't work in London - I work in the suburbs and get a (not very busy) bus to work (15/20 mins) with DS. Our day starts quite early. He is 5 mins from work.

If I was in your shoes, I would do close to home for the reasons most of the posters have here, I think they far outweigh the cons. In the year and a half ds has been at nursery, the "emergencies" have really only been when he has a temp. Most nurseries give them Calpol to bring down the temp and then will obviously hang on to them if you need to get there. They will know that you work an hours commute away so will look after him til you get there. You might also find the odd day when you are going to be late but if you end up having to pay "the fine" then so be it....

Weighed up against- potentially moving job so upheaval for child/ "me time" in the car ie not in work and not with child being able to listen to radio (not nursery rhymes !) -/ill days/ mat leave days/ sharing childcare pick up and drop off with dh if one of you stuck/child in car for too long per day whingein=more stress for you.....

Go for home- nothing is perfect but that would def be my choice in your shoes.

qumps · 05/09/2008 09:04

I have gone for nursery at work but then its only 10 mins from home. Reading your situation i would def go for home. I do get annoyed that its my sole responsibility to take and pick up ds from nursery. Also going on mat leave in few weeks and as ds so settled at nursery keeping him one day a week but a bit of a chore to get over here. Car journey would be a nightmare and the point about ds falling asleep is spot on. I have sung and danced to keep him awake on many occassions. Don't forget your day doesn't end until they are in bed and measn no sit dwon for a cuppa until 7 and not when you get in like the old days. Also 10 mins of nursery rhymes in car doable. 2 hours will do your head in!

purlease · 05/09/2008 11:41

I'm in London too so prices not a surprise. They do go down as children get older.

DD starting at school nursery next week. Nursery where she currently is will pick her up after school - she is just in for 2 hours in the morning. we chose nursery close to home in anticipation of her going to school. Some of her nursery friends will be joining her.

Also DH nad I both work about 45 minutes from home opposite directions so having nursery close to home means we can share responsibility. Sometimes I have to go away with work and sometimes he does. If nursery was beside one of our workplaces, this would be a nightmare.

Also you may not stay at your company forever.

Argument for close to home is obviously the emergency situations but lets hope these don't arise - we've been fine so far!

Nappyzoneneedssleep · 05/09/2008 11:47

Close to home here - asside from everything everyone else has mentioned if im ill or my dd is i can easily nip to drop ds at nursery then crawl back into bed. Also in the longterm when at nursery age they do a drop of to local school so keeps it all nice and smooth for him.

Finally odd (liek today yippeee!!!!!!) occasions i have a day to myself and still put ds in nursery for a shorter day and amusement for him - i wouldnt want to treck over town to do so and can drop of in my long coat with my pj's underneath!

believeintheboogie · 05/09/2008 12:32

The only problems I had with dds nursery being close to home and not work was when there was an accident It took me 2 hours to get home and I was panicking about getting to dd before nursery closed (usually 40 minute journey and when dd was ill I had to tell nursery staff it would be an hour before I got there.

Pro if you are off work ill dc can still go to nursery and you can rest lol

pudding25 · 05/09/2008 13:42

My friend's who work in Central London use nurseries nearish to home. They find one near them and near the tube( if not in walking distance). They drive to the nursery, leave the car, drop of baby then go to work on tube. It has always worked out ok and even the ones in super high powered jobs have always managed to get back in time.

saramoon · 05/09/2008 15:02

I've always had my 2 dds in the nursery that is part of the college I teach at. I love that they are nearby but yes, the car journeys when they are little can be a pain esp if you don't want them to go to sleep. And potty training can be hard too. But i only live about 10 miles away from my work and it is only a 25 minute car journey in the morning.
It is difficult isn't it? pudding25 message sounds good though if you are in London.

Songbird · 05/09/2008 19:20

I read the first few, but tea is calling so I've not read the whole thread, but here's my tuppence worth. I had exactly the same thought process as you - work is 30-40 mins from home, and I thought, if she's near me I can get there quick if there's an emergency. However, apart from the odd tizzy where she was a bit poorly and just wanted mummy, thankfully I've never needed to be that close, except when I've had to work late (I'm talking 5.30 here - nursery closing time). Now she's 3.5 and nearing school age I'm regretting it. She won't know anyone when she goes to school! Also, on the odd day I have off or am sick, it's a real pain in the arse (dh works near home!). If I'm working out of the office (I'm an archaeologist and do a lot of fieldwork), I'm really restricted by the opening hours, and often just can't go to meetings as the earliest I can leave dd is 8am, and have to be back by 5.30! This is all made more complicated by us only having one car.

Sorry, I've really waffled on, but in summary, next time, I will definitely put my child in nursery close to home. If an emergency were to occur, of course you'd wish you were closer, but in a bad emergency an ambulance may be required, and (almost) anything less serious could wait for you to get there.

Apologies again for waffle!

Donkeyswife · 05/09/2008 20:26

My ds goes to nursery near our house. Pluses are:

easy in morning to drop off, no horrible commute with babe in tow.

He has his little friends at nursery and we often see them at the weekend, non work days in hte park or for play dates, parties etc.. so not far to travel to.

I am now on maternity leave with babe no 2 so only have a 5 min walk to drop ds off (goes just 3 days a week now). This is a really important point to consider, if you think you might have another one after this one then do you really want to be traipsing miles to near where you worked to drop your child off if s/he is still in nursery when or if babe no 2comes along?

WHen i;ve been ill, it's been great to have just a short journey to nursery to drop ds off and then go back home to bed - think others on this post have made this point.

When your little one goes to school s/he will not have any of her nursery friends going with her - big point to consider too.
Can#'t think of any minus points.

smellyeli · 05/09/2008 21:09

Have done both. Near work fine, although burden falls upon you as sole dropper off/picker up. DS very near to me (hospital nursery) and could pop down to give Calpol/cuddles etc. plus he got to come into work occasionally and see where I was all day! 45 minutes each way - agree with the potty training comment! - but it's made him into a really good little traveller - doesn't need DVD in the car, just chatting and I-Spy.

Also - near work avoids that whole having to leave at 5 on the dot thing - I could occasionally leave pretty late (nursery closed at 6.30) so that I could finish off talking to relatives,etc. Only problem was with night shifts - if I wanted him to go to nursery so that I could sleep, it meant a 90 minute round trip the day before I started night, and then someone else to look after him or drop him off the other days. But if you work 9 to 5 (or 8 to 6 - you know what I mean!) shouldn't be a problem.

The most important thing is that you are happy with the nursery itself as there will always be pros and cons of where it is. In my job, I change hospitals every year or so, so I have finally settled on a nursery near home for continuity for DS (and soon DD) and also so that he gets to know people he may go to school with. But it depends a bit on how long you plan to stay in your current job, and whether you're going to have any more maternity leave!

Good luck with things - they always work out!

blackrock · 05/09/2008 21:21

Close to home. My DS is a walk away. I walk to collect him and we walk and talk home. If there is a problem .i.e. illness i am ten minutes away.

blackrock · 05/09/2008 21:23

Oh I should have said. I dropped the commute a while back as I just knew I couldn't do it with children. I work close to home too.

gameboy · 05/09/2008 21:49

Close to home, definitely.

Once the baby is born you will realise that it's not just a 'thing' to be taken care of somewhere (as I stupidly seemed to think...) but a little person with a personality, feelings, preferences, and ways of making you feel so very guilty.

After anything between a few months and a few years, you will crack, and realise that you want to spend more time with this little person (and any others that come along in the meantime), and you will resent every minute of commuting, so you will either,
a) give up work
b) reduce days at work
c) get new job closer to home
d) work from home

therefore near home = better option.... as s/he will be settled where you want them longer term.

It's true - I've seen it happen with ALL the mums (including me!) who had kids start nursery together ....

(Sorry if it's not what you want to hear...)

loopybear · 05/09/2008 21:50

Don't know if I can add anything I hasn't already been said. I commute to work (40 mins) I choose a childminder near work one because I knew her by reputation but my main reason was if DD got taken ill or something happened I was only a couple of minutes away. It was easier when DD was under 14 months. The hardest part is traffic jams. I always have lots of books toys, drink and snacks in the car. I always carry a warm waterproof coat, changing bag and a light weight buggy which was a godsend the one time I broke down. I start a job nearer home in October as DD started getting stressed on the way home. To the point where she would make herself sick. She's ok going to work (she loves our childminder) she's fed up on the way home so I now have a DVD player for her to watch in the night garden. I'm a teacher so I notice the difference of not commuting in the holidays. In hindsight I should have got a job closer to home after my maternity leave qualifying time. Commuting alone is more exhausting when you're a working Mum.

My advice is look at childcare near home and if you plan not to change jobs near work and find the best childcare for you and your baby.

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