Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

close to home vs close to work

62 replies

thomasina1 · 03/09/2008 10:59

Trying to decide! First baby (not born yet!) so I've no idea really! Planning on going back to work 3 or 4 days a week when she is about 9-11 months old. I live in London and have 40-60 min drive to work outside of London.

If baby is in a nursery close to home, she will be there for slightly longer days (although DH and I will share drop off/pick-up and stagger it so hopefully should be 8.30 - 5.30). But then I will be further from her in case of emergencies and it means relying on DH to get her ready in the mornings!

If she is in a nursery close to work I could manage everything and she would be there for slightly shorter days BUT would be in the car for potentially 2 hours each day.

Any advice??

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Fatback · 05/09/2008 22:36

You may find the nursery availability will dictate what you can do.

I have gone for close to work.

I have commuted with DC on the tube for an hour each way since 6 mths old. I await the bad mum comments.

We have a routine which involves once on the tube we sit and look out the window for the first two stops, then milk comes out, then soft toy at the 5th stop and at the 7th we read a book. We now get quite stroppy if the tube is slow for whatever reason and DC knows when each thing should happen. We sit and chat and talk, read and play.

It has its down sides but overall, DC happy, nursery fab, the hours suit and i feel confident with them.

I agree with the point about locla networks and I now am starting to work out hwo to plug into these from another angle.

Lusi · 06/09/2008 00:11

I'd definitely say close to home...especially from when you get the government funding - around 3yo.
DD1 went to nursery from 3 months close to work ..only 15 min drive from home in the morning but was a nightmare in the evening (had to cross the Tay Bridge through the tolls...could take 40+ mins).
When she went to school..she didn't know anyone and neither did I (I moved here when I was 8 months pregnant.) She is still struggling (in P4) to have a 'best' friend who she can play with after school. Most of the other children had already paired off and I didn't know any of the other mums -so was hard to arrange play dates. Also her first month of school when she finished at midday...I was working from home somedays -so I had to take her across the bridge and come back and then go across and back to pick her up...until I could arrange something locally.
And she had to say goodbye to all her nursery friends ...difficult for her...she still mentions some of them sometimes.
Now at home with DD2 - but she will be going to a local nursery/childminder and we go to the local toddlers group etc. We both know the other mums and the children she will be going to school with ... when I go back to work I plan to start and therefore finish early if poss - to miss the homebound traffic delays (but no tolls now yeah!) If I did get delayed I now know enough other local parents to be pretty sure one of them would be able and willingly to collect her (and her big sister) for me...

KT12 · 06/09/2008 11:51

I also don't have any relatives close but chose close to home. Gives me a good excuse to get away from work at a reasonable hour. It takes me roughly 40 min taking into account traffic to get to nursery. If there was an emergency I trust the nursery staff to deal appropriately with the situation until I could get there.

HarrietTheSpy · 06/09/2008 15:34

RE meeting other mums in the local nurseries, for us that didn't happen. I didn't meet any parents as I was always SO SO rushed by the time that I got home no time to chat, or there weren't so many kids left . Whereas in town I did have time for a short chat with the parents and they were also in similar sorts of jobs, so we seemed to have more in common in that regard. I question how much of a social network you'll get even from a local nursery, unless they really make an effort to have getting to know you events outside of the week.

1dilemma · 08/09/2008 00:48

I would say it depends on you the child and your job, generally we've gone for close to work because jobs aren't really 9-5, however this turned into a nightmare once we had clildcare (school) locations accross London so we are about to end up with them closer to home (except the school because we moved!!!)
I don't really know what the right answer is, get them all together in the same place is probably best
although going to nursery (work) to drop off on mat leave was a pain, next time I would definately take them out.
I would agree wiht Harriet though for me the socialising at nursery (as you fly in and fly out so you can get the next one wihtout a 'fine') just doesn't really happen, most people just want to get home

KT12 · 08/09/2008 08:36

I agree that you don't meet other parents during drop off and fetching times, but I have met others now as DD has been invited to several birthday parties. So now I do chat to other parents, even if just a quick hello and how are you? It is much easier going to birthday parties close to home. Would hate to have to drive the route to work on weekends as well.

RachelG · 08/09/2008 14:00

I opted for close to work. I work about 25 minutes from home. I'm a single parent with no family locally.

I have only been called once to collect DS. I nipped out of work - it took me about 2 minutes. Then I brought him to work with me, then one of the receptionists (I'm a GP) took him out for a walk in the buggy while I finished surgery.

If he'd been near home, I'd have had to leave a waiting room full of irate patients, and it would have taken me half an hour to get to him.

The only downside for me is that the friends he makes at nursery won't be at school with him. But I make a big effort to socialise with children near home too, so he'll know people at school when he starts.

RachelG · 08/09/2008 14:04

PS I find the journey home quite therapeutic for DS. Nursery is pretty full-on really - lots of kids, toys, action etc - he enjoys chilling out in the car and relaxing. On the way in we have long chats about what we can see out of the window.

AuntyVi · 08/09/2008 21:54

Ummmm, here's a thought, could you see if there are any nurseries on the way to work, either around half-way or a bit nearer the home end? I don't know what your journey's like of course, not much use if it is all motorways or if it would mean a big detour; but if not it might be a way to get the best of both worlds?
If not though, then given how far you are travelling I would definitely vote for near home. That said I am doing the opposite - nursery near work - but that is because my journey is much shorter (15-20 mins) and because there happens to be a very good nursery just across the road from my office. So for me it makes sense to go there, I am just nearby if needed, the travel is only short and he could still be picked up by DH or someone else if needed, and if I get held up at work it's less of a problem as I can get to the nursery faster after I get out. If I had further to go though, then would definitely go for one near home for the reasons everyone else said.

HarrietTheSpy · 08/09/2008 23:27

That could be true about the birthday parties I suppose. But I also wouldn't have minded schlepping in to town for them. I am less convinced re schools, but this may well be dependent on where you live. At DD's local nursery, the kids were going to a variety of different schools at various times (some schools' entry point was nursery, others recept etc). So, there wasn't much in it and it wouldn't have gauranteed her friends.

The preschool, on the other hand, was a different story (we had a nanny three days a week and DD went to a preschool four days in total, one day at home with me.) In that case, the situation was as some previous posters described, kids made friends they went along to school with. But DD is going private for a variety of reasons, I must confess. And loads of parents are telling tales of woe of their child being put in a class with no one they know from the preschool. They also didn't all get places at the local school, so there is invariably some scattering to the winds...

BouncingTurtle · 09/09/2008 11:43

I opted for a nursery on the way to work.

It takes me about 10 minutes to get there and then it's a further 30mins to work. The stretch between home & nursery is when I'm most likely to hit traffic, so it just means that ds and I are late getting to nursery or we're late getting home, which for me is better than being late getting him.
So I'm not excessively far away, because it it is not much of a diversion, it means I can leave home a bit later than if I put ds in a nursery in the town we live, and it's not that much of a hassle for DH to pick up and drop off (he works 50mins in the opposite direction from home) if I can't.
Plus he is in nursery a shorter amount of time.

NinaInCognito · 09/09/2008 13:15

Hi Thomasina, mine is close to work. It is a bit of a hassle taking my ds on the tube but on the plus side I do get to spend a bit more time with him - although sometimes in cramped conditions!

Also I am lucky enough to have a nursery where I work and it is great, lovely people, great big rooms and gardens and healthy food etc. That's what I wanted really, and the trouble of commuting with them is worth it. Plus I am only a couple of minutes away if they need me.

Flip

1 2 3