Male worker and nappy changes

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In light of the recent criminal issue with the children being abused at the nursery by the male staff, what should I be asking my nursery about nappy changes? They are done in a big communal area accessed from both rooms. I don't think there is CCTV.

There is a male staff member. He's young and everyone else seems to like him.

If you aren't happy with a man changing your dc's nappy then find a new nursery.
Women also abuse dc.. In fact in recent times a woman was arrested for taking pics at nappy time and sharing them with her bf...

So tell me what I should be asking the nursery, instead of saying I should move nursery because they all need to nappy change.

Also men are heaps more likely to abuse children

In Australia, 2025 was one of great upheaval in the childcare sector. Parents, organisations and governments were all shouting at each other. I don’t know how it translates to the UK. But you are right to be concerned. Adele Ferguson wins awards for almost everything she gets her teeth into.

www.abc.net.au/news/2025-03-17/betrayal-of-trust/105063150

www.abc.net.au/news/2025-10-27/hunting-ground-four-corners-childcare/105939378

I don't have issues with the care provided, just wondering what I should be asking with regards to making sure the child is protected with nappy changes

I would be mindful that there’s also been instances where female nursery workers have been involved in abuse. It would be inappropriate to have CCTV directly covering changing areas imo - not sure why that would be a worry?

I think it depends what you want the outcome to be? And why you haven’t been worried or questioning anything prior to this?

Do you want only female workers to change your child’s nappy? It depends on whether the nursery can accommodate such a request.

I stated I don't think there is CCTV, to clarify, it wasn't a request.

Perhaps people can give advice on what I should be asking the nursery or looking out for, to make it safe? Regardless of gender?

Can you ask them generally ‘what safeguards are in place for nappy changing?’

For instance are there 2 members of staff - one changing while the other is close by, is it in an open area, do they rotate or do they only change key child nappies, do agency staff change nappies, do they wear gloves and apply cream with cotton wool etc?

Not sure what you can ask them tbh…maybe for confirmation that male worker has had a DBS check and what training he has had?

I think it would be sexist (and inappropriate) to insist he doesn’t change your child’s nappies. Presumably you are ok with the female staff changing boys nappies?

Make an effort to talk to the male staff member of possible, see what vibes you get from him. That’s about all you can do. Move your child’s nursery if you aren’t happy.

Thank you so much, this is useful.

Is it normal that other parents can see nappy changing? I don't have an issue with it but I don't know what is wrong/right.

Eg at pick up the parent collect the toddler so in theory can see a nappy change if they look hard enough (it's in an adjoining room).

Parents shouldn’t be able to see the toilet or nappy change area, if they can they should
consider moving it or adding privacy film on the door. But I feel an open area visible to staff/children is best for nappy changes unless the child is older (3/4) where they might need privacy in the way we would encourage privacy on the loo. In which case it would be a closed room but with 2 staff (this would be normal at a school setting for accidents or nappy changes for SEND children).

Babies definitely don’t need privacy from staff but they do from parents (because realistically they could be anyone - uncles, babysitters, grannies, neighbours)

Don’t start mentioning the man specifically as it sounds like you are accusing him of something (which you kind of are)

my nursery have a policy that nobody is ever alone with a child - this pretty much covers all situations !

the nappy change area is on the main floor in a small room only closed off by baby gate - so the staff member is able to be seen by the other staff.

always at least 2 in the sleep rooms - and all sleep rooms have cameras and there’s a big monitor in the main rooms and the office showing a full view of all sleep areas - so again nowhere opportunity for the staff to ever be alone with the children

phones are all checked in and out in a locked box on arrival too!

These are the kinds of questions I’d be asking

also to add - a lot is made of male nursery workers, but they are also very aware that people will watch them more than the women.

I have just as much trust in our male teacher as our female ones.

the recent case of abuse near us - physical abuse in the baby room - was a young woman. It was truly horrifying.

Thank you.

Yes that's awful
I don't understand how abuse can happen with others around

Simply put you can't ask..... You either trust The Staff as a whole or you don't...

It’s a no thank you from me, I wouldn’t want a male nursery worker at all. So I’d probably move her. Sadly given the statistics and recorded data - men are a more significant risk to young children at nurseries, than women. Particularly if a child is ‘pre-verbal’ and there’s no cctv etc.

A quick scan on the internet provides information and references.

‘Men are significantly more likely than women to commit child sexual abuse, particularly in childcare settings. Official statistics consistently show that the vast majority of individuals convicted of or reported for child sexual abuse (CSA) are male.

For example, in the UK, almost 99% of individuals convicted of child sexual abuse offences in 2022/23 were men, and in the year ending March 2019, 92% of adults who reported experiencing CSA said the perpetrator was male only.Similarly, reports to the Australian Royal Commission revealed that 93.9% of institutional abuse was perpetrated by adult men.

Despite men making up only a small proportion of childcare workers, they are responsible for the majority of child sexual abuse cases within childcare settings.

Research indicates that men with a sexual interest in children are disproportionately more likely to work with children, including in early education and care, and are almost three times more likely to be employed in such roles compared to other men.

A comprehensive study of the McMartin Preschool trial in the United States found that although men constituted only about 5% of childcare staff, they were responsible for 60% of the substantiated abuse cases, with 93% of victims subjected to penetrative sexual violence.

While women do commit abuse in childcare settings, they are far less likely to do so compared to men. However, the reluctance to view women, particularly mothers, as potential perpetrators can contribute to abuse going undetected. In some studies, the proportion of female perpetrators in daycare maltreatment cases is higher than in other childhood maltreatment settings, possibly due to the female gender dominance in early education systems.

Nevertheless, the overwhelming pattern remains that male perpetrators are the primary concern in institutional abuse.

The risk is further amplified by the fact that offenders often target pre-verbal children, evade detection for long periods, and are typically uncovered through external investigations, such as those related to child sexual abuse material, rather than internal safeguarding systems.’

Excuse me but are you? Was Rose West a man in drag?

You are right to raise this, as statistically males are far, far more likely to carry out sexual assaults than females.

98% of sexual offending is carried out by men. Only 2% by women.

While it's not unheard of for women to abuse, the vast majority - and hence the far greater risk to your child - is when men are involved.

So those urging you to worry more about not being sexist than safeguarding your child should be ignored.

Do not feel embarrassed to ask the nursery for their safeguarding procedures and for your child to be changed only by female staff members.

I agree. There's a male nursery nurse at my sons nursery and although I agree it's not common, I would not be singling him out as a possible risk to your child when he's done nothing wrong. He'll have the same level of training and DBS check as the female staff. If you don't trust that the nursery would ensure he is to the same standard as the females then it's a problem with the nursery. If you're uncomfortable you'd be better off keeping them out of childcare until they are able to tell you about what goes on there.

Anyone that you are trusting to care for your child has an opportunity to abuse your trust. Family members, child minders, nursery staff. You just need to choose who you trust most.

It's absolutely crazy to worry more about looking sexist than protecting your child from abuse. It's literally your job as a parent to protect your child. That includes getting over any internal drive to people please or worry about how you look or how you might be judged.

I would not allow this if he’s doing it alone in a private room.

Would you do the same if your child was in hospital and the nurse was male

I would not be happy with a male working there and would remove my child. Children are just too precious to risk, sorry.
I also find it very odd that a man would choose a career in a nursery, over all the many, many jobs men can do, that women either cannot do or are at a disadvantage over men when applying for.
I’m not trying to imply that all male childcare workers have ill intent, not at all, I’m sure there are thousands of them who are great at their job and will never be a risk. I just personally couldn’t take that gamble and when I collected my DC from nursery once and discovered a male staff member changing my baby’s nappy I never brought her back as alarm bells went off in my head - to be fair this wasn’t helped by all of his piercings, black lipstick and facial tattoos and expressionless interactions…