Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

Original poster

Is this allowed? Nursery Workers Husband.

55 replies

PlumFairies · 08/01/2025 20:43

Hi,
An acquaintance of mine is married to someone who was found guilty and went to prison for historic abuse of an underage teenage girl around 8 years ago.
I’ve just found out she is now working in the local nursery. Would an offence like that show up on a DBS check? As although I know she committed no crime she is married to and lives at the same address as one.
I had hoped to sent my LO to that nursery but am having enormous doubts over whether I could put my faith in them to safeguard my child.

OP posts:
Zone2NorthLondon · 08/01/2025 22:08

DBS is for the named individual eg Her, not the partner
Yes He’s odious but he doesn’t work there,has no access to the children
Nursery as a business don’t employ him,so no safeguarding breach

Original poster
PlumFairies · 08/01/2025 22:16

Zone2NorthLondon · 08/01/2025 22:08

DBS is for the named individual eg Her, not the partner
Yes He’s odious but he doesn’t work there,has no access to the children
Nursery as a business don’t employ him,so no safeguarding breach

I thought maybe somehow it would flag up as they live at the same address.
It’s definitely put me off sending my child there, which I know may be unreasonable as she has committed no offence but I’m pretty sure other parents would feel the same if they knew.

OP posts:
NewPinkJacket · 08/01/2025 22:20

PlumFairies · 08/01/2025 22:16

I thought maybe somehow it would flag up as they live at the same address.
It’s definitely put me off sending my child there, which I know may be unreasonable as she has committed no offence but I’m pretty sure other parents would feel the same if they knew.

Show quote history

Any nursery worker could be living with a pedophile parent, sibling, partner or flatmate.

The only difference here is that you know about it.

Whatever nursery you end up sending your child to, cannot guarantee you their staff will be in a different position.

And it'll be the same all the way through your child's schooling too.

I get that the knowledge is disturbing though, but there's nothing you can really do except choose another nursery.

XmasSocks · 08/01/2025 22:24

Do you honestly think ‘she should have a conviction of someone else’s on her DBS???
or even mentions she lives in the same house as someone who has a conviction?

Like really?

Unreasonable

IF it was a childminder i would understand and he would also have to have a dbs check anyway

But its a nursery
Either use the nursery or dont use it

Mounjarry · 08/01/2025 22:27

It's up to you whether you feel uncomfortable with it or not, but no it wouldn't and shouldn't show up on a DBS check. If she was a childminder then he'd have to have a check as your child would be in his home.

TwirlyPineapple · 08/01/2025 22:31

I don’t think it would show up on a DBS, but when I was a teacher we had to disclose if anyone we lived with or had a close connection to was barred from working with children or had committed offences against a child. I'm pretty certain you wouldn't have been hired if you did.

I don't know if the rules are the same for nurseries. Unlike other posters, I agree with you that being in a relationship with a sex offender should absolutely disqualify you from working with children. It shows a disgraceful moral character and I wouldn’t be happy with them looking after my child.

Edit: I did some googling and apparently disqualification by association was dropped in 2018. But like I said, I would never be content with someone working with my child if they were able to live with a child abuser. It’s disappointing that it isn’t a bar anymore.

Zone2NorthLondon · 08/01/2025 22:33

Not being alarmist but you could select another nursery, same problem except you don’t know
Unfortunately a minority of people are predatory and nasty. They are in plain sight and might be the teacher,police,clergy . They select these roles for access. Scary but true. Don’t catastrophise this just find way to be vigilant but relaxed

ttcat37 · 08/01/2025 22:41

I would not want my child to be looked after by someone married to a paedophile. Hard no from me. Doesn’t really matter if it shows up on a DBS check or not, you have the information you need to make a decision.

Remagirl · 08/01/2025 22:44

It would put me off. Her judgment is shite if she's still with him. She could be liable to manipulation by him if she's so weak.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 08/01/2025 22:51

Yes, he is not working with children!

NiftyKoala · 08/01/2025 22:52

Remagirl · 08/01/2025 22:44

It would put me off. Her judgment is shite if she's still with him. She could be liable to manipulation by him if she's so weak.

I totally agree with this!

Dragonstar · 08/01/2025 22:53

I believe that she would need to have told the setting manager for a risk assessment of sorts. They need to consider if he was to turn up at the nursery to drop anything off, give her a lift etc.
If she has kids there may be some social services involvement, and surely the SW would tell her she needs to share this with her manager.

Elizo · 08/01/2025 22:54

No this would not show up. I think it would make me question it too tbh

Eldermillenialyogi · 08/01/2025 22:54

I'd understand you not sending your child to their home if they are a childminder and the husband could be there. I don't really get why you think a DBS check would show her partner's crimes or why you are worried about her as a nursery worker?

Elizo · 08/01/2025 22:55

Dragonstar · 08/01/2025 22:53

I believe that she would need to have told the setting manager for a risk assessment of sorts. They need to consider if he was to turn up at the nursery to drop anything off, give her a lift etc.
If she has kids there may be some social services involvement, and surely the SW would tell her she needs to share this with her manager.

The problem is nursery staff become trusted people, babysitting etc. It’s not illegal but it would make me question the woman’s judgement

NewPinkJacket · 08/01/2025 22:56

Dragonstar · 08/01/2025 22:53

I believe that she would need to have told the setting manager for a risk assessment of sorts. They need to consider if he was to turn up at the nursery to drop anything off, give her a lift etc.
If she has kids there may be some social services involvement, and surely the SW would tell her she needs to share this with her manager.

They need to consider if he was to turn up at the nursery to drop anything off, give her a lift etc.

No they don't because no-one should have private access to the children if they're not a staff member?

Dragonstar · 08/01/2025 22:56

@Elizo I agree. I wouldn't like it either.

ViolinsPlayGentlyOn · 08/01/2025 22:57

Eldermillenialyogi · 08/01/2025 22:54

I'd understand you not sending your child to their home if they are a childminder and the husband could be there. I don't really get why you think a DBS check would show her partner's crimes or why you are worried about her as a nursery worker?

You don’t think that it’s a problem that someone working with small children has the poor judgement to get involved with someone convicted for abuse of children?

Eldermillenialyogi · 08/01/2025 23:01

ViolinsPlayGentlyOn · 08/01/2025 22:57

You don’t think that it’s a problem that someone working with small children has the poor judgement to get involved with someone convicted for abuse of children?

Show quote history

I might feel differently if like OP I knew someone in these circumstances but as a hypothetical I just don't know and it depends. Someone having poor judgment doesn't necessarily mean they are a risk to children in nursery setting

modgepodge · 08/01/2025 23:01

TwirlyPineapple · 08/01/2025 22:31

I don’t think it would show up on a DBS, but when I was a teacher we had to disclose if anyone we lived with or had a close connection to was barred from working with children or had committed offences against a child. I'm pretty certain you wouldn't have been hired if you did.

I don't know if the rules are the same for nurseries. Unlike other posters, I agree with you that being in a relationship with a sex offender should absolutely disqualify you from working with children. It shows a disgraceful moral character and I wouldn’t be happy with them looking after my child.

Edit: I did some googling and apparently disqualification by association was dropped in 2018. But like I said, I would never be content with someone working with my child if they were able to live with a child abuser. It’s disappointing that it isn’t a bar anymore.

Edited

I was going to say the same - for a few years I as a teacher had to say I didn’t live with anyone who was barred from working with children. Always seemed a bit odd to me as my husband had 0 contact with any kids I taught (not that he was a criminal anyway of course!) I always assumed it was more relevant to childminders and so on where the kids are in the house with the family members. Interesting to see it’s been dropped now.

Dragonstar · 08/01/2025 23:01

No they don't because no-one should have private access to the children if they're not a staff member?

They should be looking at any instance of where this man may come into contact with children, even if it's as parents are in the car park dropping their kids off. Despite him not having private access, which of course he would not, it all needs to be thought about. The setting manager and DSL should be aware so there is no crossover.

BeeCucumber · 08/01/2025 23:07

If the DBS team did a thorough investigation into the information that she provided in her application, they would find her linked husband through their shared address or telephone number. DBS would then research his record and provide the nursery any information held on him to enable an informed decision/risk assessment to be made and if employing the applicant would be a safeguarding issue.

NewPinkJacket · 08/01/2025 23:09

Also OP, don't assume the nursery doesn't know.

They may well do.

Branleuse · 08/01/2025 23:12

I dont think it has any relevance really. He wont be in contact with the children.

Mollymalone123 · 08/01/2025 23:17

I worked in childcare and each year we signed to say no change of circumstances in our living arrangements-it was to safeguard against situations just like this- you had to declare if anyone living with you had any criminal record or was on sex offenders register etc.it maybe that the nursery already does this-they wouldn’t be able to tell you though because of privacy gdpr etc.