Nursery mentioning austism in my child.

[CheekyBee10]

My son is currently 3 years and 8 months old. He does struggle with his emotions, when he doesn’t get his own way he kicks off and does hit, kick etc. I have never thought that this behaviour is anything but him being a toddler, other family members have also said they deem it to be the usual behaviour of a 3 year old.
However, nursery seem to believe that my son is “high on the scale of autism”. They think this because of his tantrums and because he’s intelligent. Literally no other issues whatsoever, he has good days and bad days with tantrums. He has more good days of course and most of his issues stem with wanting to have attention and his own way. He is currently an only child, so gets a lot of attention at home and quite honestly gets his own way most of the time. I’ve always said he has only child syndrome😂

There isn’t much point in this post other than needing to vent. I know people get their children diagnosed young, but for me personally I just think that 3 years of age is so young to diagnose something especially with behaviours that would be considered neurotypical also.

I am also aware that nursery staff see a lot of children so of course will have more experience but I just feel like they’re jumping the gun here. Am I being realistic?

On that case, why is he having tantrums? All kids have days out and toys. If you arnt able to control his behaviour then perhaps the nursery see signs that match previous children who do have autism.

Nursery shouldn't ever suggest a diagnosis it's not their place they should ask for an assessment

I’ve worked in a nursery for over ten years and we have seen a lot of ND children through the doors.

I can pretty much pick up which children will need closer monitoring within the first half hour of meeting them these days. And it’s now rare that I’m wrong. Nursery practitioners are professionals and spend a lot of time with the children through their waking day, they won’t say something like this without being sure it needs further investigation.

NT 3/4 year olds don’t generally hit or kick or have tantrums in the way younger toddlers do. They might get cross, grumpy or upset and cry but by nearly 4 they have got to a point they can express themselves verbally and don’t tend to tantrum aggressively. Self regulation does become more apparent from 3 which is when they start playing with their peers cooperatively.