Complained about Nursery issues - got a 1 month Notice to leave

[Amy04]

I have been sending my 2yo twins to a nursery since a month now. There have been several shortcomings such as:
No updates on the day about my children - what did they do, what did they eat, how are they, their mood, activities, etc. Out of 1 month of going to nursery, I only received updates for 2 days.
Leaving my child with a bottle of milk from the morning till pick up time without cleaning the bottle, adding fresh milk or even trying to help him eat - my son eats well at home and seems to only have milk at the nursery.
Failing to provide warm milk because they cannot leave a member of staff to warm the milk - though they did mention they could warm milk on Day 1.

• a few more issues.

I raised this matter with them. I requested for a meeting to discuss these matters because I said I am not comfortable and I am worried for their well-being if they go to the nursery without having the opportunity to meet the manager and higher up to discuss these matters and come to a solution.

I spoke with them yesterday about this and requested a meeting. They have now sent me a 1 month Notice telling me that their investigation is over and my allegations about no updates and well being are unfounded and they have decided to give a notice.
They also had the cheek to ask if I wanted to send my kids during that 1 month.

I do not want to send my kids somewhere where the people involved in their care are blatantly lying in my face and fobbing me off. I wonder how many more lies I have been told - especially where I notice a change in behaviour and eating pattern of my child.

I dont think it is fair to be charging me with that 1 month nursery fee where I do not plan to send my kids there.

It seems they kicked my kids out because they did not want to deal with the issues I raised.

Where do I go from here?

You are quite right to be somewhat annoyed that they seem to have overpromised.

But that doesn't mean you should now expect those things to happen! It seems quite clear now they were never going to happen.

And yes, you are very unreasonable in trying to hold onto patently over-the-top requests that they clearly can't fulfill, then getting upset when they face the reality you don't want to face and give you notice.

Because they ARE right neither you nor they are happy. You might, however, be wrong in thinking you could get this type of tailored service in any nursery.

FWIW, my almost-two-year old gets a written group update and pictures once a week, only drinks water during the day and our hand-off is a few sentences at most unless there was a specific issue. They have kids to look after. Several.

‘Post deleted as OP has privacy concerns’ coming in 3,2,1…

Firstly, do you want them to be looking after and doing activities with your children or sitting on an iPad/phone writing out updates for you throughout the day…bearing in mind they would need to do this for ALL the children so that’s hours of someone’s days spent on an iPad instead of looking after the children. Do they tell you about their day when you pick them up? That should be plenty.

How do you know that it’s the same milk in the bottle from the morning? Did you mark it somehow? Why are 2 year olds still having warm milk during the day? Seems a bit odd.

You’d probably be better with a nanny who only has your children to look after then she can sit on an iPad all day sending you updates without neglecting other people’s children 🤷‍♀️

Our nursery has never given updates during the day and I think nurseries are discouraged from too many photos and updates now as it takes time away from the DC.

Do you get the necessary information at pick up? At 2 we would've been told about food, nappies, sleep (if appropriate) and the main morning and afternoon activities. Nothing between drop off and pick up unless there was a bumped head to be reported.

Two year olds are supposed to be long past bottles so I'd use nursery (this one or another) to nudge that along rather than encourage it.

Is this your evidence? Because it says nothing there about updates and looks like you're hounding them constantly about minor things.

If a child is missing their sibling (off sick ill?) the staff will comfort them, why do you need to know about it in real-time?

You either trust them to feed nutritious food or you don't, they're not going to have time to text all the parents what DC is eating every day.

They'll have a routine for nap times and I expect will use that time to get other jobs done. If nap time is eg 2hr they're not going to wake your DC up after an hour's nap, simultaneously trying to keep all the other DC asleep and entertain your DC whilst trying to get all those other jobs done.

You want someone to fill you in on that level of updates and be answerable only to you, doing everything to your personally chosen routine/system, then you need a nanny. I'm not surprised they've kicked you out. The keyworker is in charge of yours (and no doubt several others) DC welfare, she's not your personal PA.

You owe for the notice period if it's in the contract, whether you send your DC there or not for that month is up to you and is a separate issue from you owing the money. Suppose you could just not pay and they'd be able to get debt collection or take you to small claims court, if they've got a contract saying you have to pay the notice period even if it's them who issues it, then I imagine you'll lose in court, all the debt collection costs will be added on and you'll end up with even more to pay. Your question is basically you owe this bill and don't want to pay so how can you get out of it.

When my first started nursery I wasn’t happy with the number of updates and was probably that parent. Looking back the issue was 100% me and my anxieties and nothing to do with the nursery. I found that as time went on I was less bothered about the updates, and the guidance changed anyway as others have said.

My second started there in April and honestly I couldn’t care less about the updates, but because I know and trust the nursery staff to do the best thing for him. He has settled so much better than my first and I do genuinely think my first was picking up on my anxieties.

Your DCs have barely been there a month, you’ve definitely not given it long enough to see how things work before demanding updates. You may be feeling worried about leaving them (understandably so) but as others have said, the staff don’t have the time to be constantly providing reassurance.

I do think you should get a verbal update at handover though, it’s odd they don’t do that.

I would expect daily handover note (how slept, what ate, and any issues or activity highlights). This is expected standard of care for babies/toddler. Would not expect bottle of warm milk given at this age and definitely wouldn’t have been texting keyworker. I would have insisted at pick up for (written) lowdown on their day and if I didn’t get it, would enquire why to manger next morning at drop off.

you should take the month and pay for it, it's going to take you time to try to find somewhere/one else who will put up with your endless demands you're happy with. also you likely legally signed a contract of a month's notice so you don't have a leg to stand on re the money.

No one needs messages/updates during the day- staff should be supervising the kids, not on their phones. A verbal handover at pick up is standard though.

’where do you go from here?’ A new childcare setting presumably @Amy04

whats availability like in your area? Do you have other options?

this nursery clearly isn’t compatible with your expectations but there’s nothing fundamentally wrong with what they’ve done. If one month notice from them is what’s in your contract then it’s all above board.

That is shocking , I would still be complaining to OFSTED as some of the things you describe are a safety issue ( leaving milk all day will lead to bacteria in that bottle and very dangerous to young tummies ) . The fact they are pedantic enough to tell you to go elsewhere because you raised concerns is a huge red flag . A good setting would work with you and sort those issues .
The updates daily can be a bit OTT imo but the milk thing would worry me

Our nursery that we have used for the past 5 years with a couple of our kids never sends photos or updates throughout the day. I wouldn't want them to be following my kids round with a phone or iPad in their face.

I get a page in their backpack that records the special activities they did, something they particularly enjoyed that day, food and how much was eaten at each meal, nap times, nappy changes and whether cream or medicine was applied or given. Also a "he's had a great day today mum! We were out in the garden and he loved the slide!" at pick up every day.

I think you're expecting a bit too much personally, and I also think a bottle of milk for a two year old is unreasonable! Can you find a childminder instead? Might suit you better as they have fewer kids to mind.

My son is 2 and we get updates via an app as you can see below.

We then get a brief handover at the end of the day telling us what activities he's been doing and a summary of his mood.... eg he was a bit grumpy around nap time but otherwise happy and talking lots all day. They also tell us what he's eaten and how long he slept for.

Tbh, you should be told what they've been doing regardless of how old they are.

I can't really understand the milk thing, or why he's not having milk at home before nursery? I always try to offer some breakfast before sending him in as he's bound to be hungry when he wakes at 6am, and expecting him to wait until 8:30/9am for breakfast at nursery.

It sounds like a combination of the nursery not giving you proper handovers and you asking questioning them too much.

For instance, even without the app (only up and running for 6 months) I wasn't messaging the nursery to know what he had for lunch.

Anyway, hope the below pic helps you know what I think should be normal updates

Forgot to add we also get an update for their learning journey via the app sporadically. Sometimes once a week, sometimes nothing for 6 weeks.

This part is reasonable. Won’t your son drink cold milk at 2? Can’t you warm him some milk and give it to him when you drop him off? The priority is obviously having enough staff with the kids, and yes it’s inappropriate to leave one member of staff alone with all the babies simply for a non emergency like one child preferring milk at a certain temperature. As for the updates, if they talk to you at handover time I’d not be overly worried. They’re busy keeping the kids safe and happy! They don’t have time to be on their phones messaging parents all day too!

I'm shocked by the number of posters who think the nursery have been reasonable are we reading the same posts?!?!

I worked in nurseries and as a nanny for 12 years and this isn't even basic care being provided, a child having the same milk in his cup all day long and said cup not being cleaned 🤢 not to mention not providing updates on the child's day I'd be really pissed off if I was paying a fortune for childcare and my child wasn't even getting basic care. If this is now acceptable so glad I left childcare when I did.

Also if they don't have the staff to cover the room whilst one makes the milk then they shouldn't have told the OP they would. Obviously nurseries can't do everything a parent asks as its not practical when you have say 8 toddlers to 2-3 staff but you shouldn't agree then not do it that doesn't exactly build trust.

@Amy04 be thankful they gave you notice I wouldn't want my kids there, if you wanna take it further report to Ofsted but I doubt anything will come of it nurseries are very good at hiding their incompetence and poor practices and easily dismissing a complaint as a difficult parent causing trouble I've worked in some horrible nurseries and good ones. The horrible ones were toxic and manned by ahole managers/owners out to make as much cash as possible and that includes overworking their staff and not paying out to make sure the nursery is fully staffed

It is very unusual for 2yo to have bottles at nursery. We would probably offer the child the bottle if the parent wanted us to but many children will refuse it and want what is being offered to all the others. We encourage children at 2yo to be using beakers rather than bottles as this is the next step in development. It is unlikely your child is being offered the same bottle all day. If it was refused by the child in the morning it wouldn't be offered again due to the health issues surrounding reheating it.

As for updates, we will give a written update in our baby room and a verbal update in the older rooms. It is no longer an ofsted requirement to supply a learning journal and updates via an online system aren't always easy to fit in during a busy day. The care of the children is a priority over staff having computer time. Phones aren't allowed in rooms with the children so texts to staff in the day won't usually be seen.

@WickedWitchOfTheEast87 I’d assume that if the child isn’t drinking it immediately it’s being put away and not touched for the rest of the day. Unless there’s about to be a massive drip feed it’s hugely unusual for a 2yo to be drinking milk out of a bottle. I expect they’ll be given cups of milk/water with everyone else.

They don't keep fridges in the rooms with the children in nurseries so that would mean the milk wasn't put in one to be kept fresh which is unhygienic and not good the milk will go off because the nursery don't have the staff to leave the room to do so as the OP has stated. Nor is it unusual for toddlers to still have a bottle of milk in the mornings either.