Nursery asking us to come and change nappy

[fari2014]

Hi,

My son has place in nursery connected to school. The nursery saying they don't have nappy changing facilities and if child soils themselves or nappy needs changing. They will call parents to come and do it.

Is this normal? Do all nurseries connected to school do this?

How ridiculous, no wonder women can't get back to work even when their free hours start.

ASD is NOT a mental illness, it's a neuro-diversity. Please read up and get it right. My DS is not mentally ill, he has ASD and ADHD, so is neuro-diverse.

I'm surprised at this. If I were you I'd inquire about some different nurseries. Explain about his needs.

School nurseries often have this policy. They're essentially teachers, unlike in a private nursery.

I don't understand why they'd accept a child with SEN whos non verbal knowing he's not toilet trained when they have no changing facilities.

One of the main reasons I've kept my son at the private nursery as he's also no toilet trained, SEN also.

I would speak to them because I don't see how it's feasible for parents to be coming and going to change a nappy. That won't help the children settle surely?

Our nursery class in school take from age 3. No nappy changing facilities is totally normal. Accidents dealt with as they would be in Reception class ie child given spare clothes to sort themselves out. The teachers are not permitted to touch the children per safeguarding laws, so do not help clean them up (although in reality they do as they're human and want to help). For SEN, this needs to be discussed in advance.

I’m in the same situation with one of my twins. He’s non verbal and very delayed. Luckily his preschool have been very understanding and change his nappies without complaint.

we’re also awaiting a diagnosis for him. It’s taken over a year and he’s still not due an appointment until December.

i had considered going private for a diagnosis but I’ve heard the NHS/council don’t like this and often won’t consider a private diagnosis as part of an EHCP. Great. What are we supposed to do then?!

@Scottishgirl85 if the teachers can’t be trusted to help the child with wiping, should they really be allowed alone with a child that young

I have a Uk based friend who successfully took on the LEA and has them install a separate toilet facility for her 5 year old daughter who is on the spectrum. She managed at school with minimal support but wasn’t toilet trained and the school tried to get out of enrolling her because of it. In the end a toilet was built for her and she was taken care of by someone if she had an accident.

My nephew was regularly changed up to the age of 6 y1 he has ASD but high functioning and very verbal I thought schools and school nursery’s couldn’t discriminate?

OP you can apply for an EHCNA now, you don’t need DS to be attending nursery, although as others have posted the nursery cannot exclude because DS isn’t toilet trained.

@HermioneKipper LAs cannot have a blanket policy of refusing to accept private assessments just because they are private, and if you appeal the EHCP SENDIST definitely do accept independent assessments.

YANBU, just because most kids are toilet trained by 3 doesn’t mean that the ones who aren’t should miss out on nursery. My 4 year old is still in nappies and awaiting assessment for ASD, nursery has been fine about changing nappies and it is attached to a school.

Autism isn't a mental illness.

My 3 year old doesn't have SEN but is in nappies - mostly due to bouts of constipation. Our nursery asked us to provide a nappy and wipes.
I don't expect them to change him often as he'll probably hold it in until home though. I thought it isn't uncommon not to be trained - although going to try again soon.

What your school has said is illegal.

Ask to see their policy, and ask whether it complies with the Equality Act 2010.

If such a policy exists, and states what you says, it cannot comply with that law and therefore you can challenge it.

Extract from the Act:

The responsible body of such a school must not discriminate against a pupil—
(a)in the way it provides education for the pupil;
(b)in the way it affords the pupil access to a benefit, facility or service;
(c)by not providing education for the pupil;
(d)by not affording the pupil access to a benefit, facility or service;
(e)by excluding the pupil from the school;
(f)by subjecting the pupil to any other detriment.

for any reason associated with their disability, directly or indirectly.

Incontinence, whether direct or indirect (ie whether stand-alone or as a result of a wider disability or condition) is considered a disability for the purpose of the Act and therefore children cannot be denied access to a state-funded educational setting such as a school nursery, and parents cannot be required to come and change a child, because this is discriminatory.

The parents on this thread stating that such discrimination is 'normal' should be ashamed.

ERIC is your friend here www.eric.org.uk/help-at-school-faqs and will help you to advocate for your child if needed.

This indebted to a poster on another thread is a good example of an area's guidance with information on what is and is not allowed.

You really need to contact the nursery and talk to them about it. If they don't have nappy changing facilities how are you supposed to come and do it? Or are they expecting him to wait until you get there and then wait until you get him home before he is changed and then you have to bring him back again afterwards? Working parents just could not do that on a regular basis.

More likely they don't have enough staff and don't want to do it - but they are likely discriminating against him if they don't, especially as he has ASD. A lot of councils are quite up on this, I was just reading what Tower Hamlets had to say and they were quite clear that nurseries should be changing nappies whether disabled or not as continence comes to children at different times.

If you get no joy from the nursery then contact your council/LEA. He deserves a nursery education like anyone else.

I know someone who got this. Though their child already had an EHCP.

There are two school nurseries near me. One school has a fully inclusive policy so have no issue with having children with a variety of needs including in nursery. The other pretends (illegally) any special/different needs don't exist. So I frequently see parents walking to the other school from where they live near due to the allocation of school places.

I think that's unreasonable. We didn't nappy train my NT son until he was 3 as he wasn't ready. He's had a bit of a regression - which is totally normal - and I wouldn't want him to be in a nursery where they didn't recognise that and make sure he was in dry clothes.

It isn't.

When my DD started nursery - charity run - at 3 they were surprised she was toilet trained.

I've literally never heard of this,my DC is 3 (4 in Dec), and is in nappies and goes to a nursery school. When he joined in Jan it was in the paperwork to send nappies and wipes in if still in nappies, no expectations listed about toilet training. DC is on the SEN register with school, but this was the same rule for all children not just SEN

In all of the school nurseries (4) my children have attended, they are not even allowed to remove a child’s underwear. I’ve been called in once as my dd had a nasty injury to her bum and they weren’t allowed to look at it. It’s not unreasonable for a school nursery to expect a 3yo to be able to at least semi reliably use the loo

I've worked in two different nurseries attached to primary schools. Both of them had full changing facilities, and were well used to changing nappies, and also used to supporting children who were still very unreliable on a toilet/potty.

A lot of children start nursery immediately after turning 3, and it's really not uncommon for kids to still be in nappies at that age. But if the school literally doesn't have the facilities then I'm not sure what you can do?

Does he use the toilet or potty at all?

I’m really surprised that they even accepted him knowing his toilet issues.

I don’t think this is going to work as you’re going to be called constantly!

How far do you live from the nursery?
I assume you don’t work right now?

Have you chosen this nursery because of the school?

Could you have him go part time instead?
So he can still get a place at the school but you’re not going back and forwards constantly.

Ask to speak to the school SENCO and request a copy of the schools intimate care policy.

You need to arrange for an individual education plan to be written for your child alongside an intimate care plan. Nappy changing is absolutely the responsibility of a school in a child with SEN. You don't need a diagnosis to have SEN.

If you are hoping for an EHIC plan then the above all needs doing first as evidence of your child having needs above and beyond other children their age.