AIBU nursery still doing drop-off outside?

[KO2018]

At the risk of sounding like a pain in the bum mum I am feeling a little unhappy about us still not being allowed into our 1yo daughter’s nursery. Since covid they bring the kids out/collect one-by-one and you have to queue outside and wait till someone comes out.

They are great in general and she’s very happy there but I hate the weird outside drop-off situation. I never get to see the space where she plays, or know who all the nursery workers are.

It’s also sad as I don’t know who her friends are so there’s no sense of community between the parents. I confess to being a little disappointed by that, I was hoping to arrange birthday parties, play dates, stuff like that…

The nursery have responded saying it is better to continue to do it this way indefinitely, but they haven’t said why.

Thoughts?

Particularly from any nursery workers :)

Ours has recently switched to being able to collect inside but they've decided to keep drop off at door as children settle better.

DS is at school now but his old nursery have kept this system for the same reason.

Ours is still drop off/pick up outside but I’ve met all the workers in all the rooms, and know the parents through WhatsApp groups, set up bit by bit through word of mouth by parents who’ve run into each other in the park locally and the DC have recognised each other.

Could you ask nursery to help you set up a parents WhatsApp to help with play dates etc? Ours are really encouraging of them all socialising outside nursery and will generally pass on invitations etc if you don’t have a parent’s number.

All the nurseries around me plus my DD's nursery are still doing drop offs and pick ups outside.

Your child is one she won't be playing with other children for over a year.

If you want to meet other parents you need to hang outside around the popular drop off and pick up times, then just talk to them.

Once your child is 2.5+ it will be easier as they will actually talk to their friends on drop off and pick up time if they are there the same time..

Ours still is too and I doubt it will change. I think it's actually easier for them in a lot of ways, and for the kids sometimes too. It doesn't bother me particularly - DD still gets plenty of party invitations and the staff who look after her do the handover every day so we know who they are. There's a WhatsApp group some of us have ended up in through various meetings at the door and whatnot.

I wish ours did outside drop offs/pick ups. It takes so much longer when you have to go inside and everyone hangs around and it's just chaotic.

I’d not like this for the exact reasons you’ve said. Could they organise something for everyone to actually meet? Like an open morning one morning or some sort of group thing where parents could come so you could all meet at least. I’d be honest and say what you’ve said here xox

Ours is still drop off/pick up outdoors and I hope it stays that way. She goes in happy, she comes out happy. We get plenty of updates on the app about what she's been upto.

Hi, I work in a nursery.
We have continued outdoors and will not be changing it..
We found the children have settled much easier with a lot less fuss.
What we haven't done is ban parents from the building...new parents can come and have a look round, settling in days are offered and encouraged...parents are invited in once a term for a play day with their child.
We Continue to stay in contact with the parents with updates throughout the day on apps...

adults coming in and out of the rooms can be really confusing for a lot of children. Keeping parents at the doors makes much more sense.

surely if parents are queuing outside that’s a perfect time to talk to other parents?

My daughter started nursery aged 3 during Covid and I've never seen the inside of it in person, only on video. We still have outside drop off and pickup which seems more practical to me as it is less claustrophobic if a child is distressed about going in. My daughter hasn't been invited to any parties and when I asked them advice on organising one for her they said that the kids don't usually have parties at that age anyway and that they usually happen in Reception.

I've found since mask wearing was dropped and things have eased it has been much easier to make eye contact and chat to people outside the gate now. If you really want play dates then perhaps focus on chatting to people first and see how it goes but I think at age one, it's unlikely that your child will have real friends as such.

Ours has allowed parents back in the room which I much prefer. I know some of the staff liked the outdoor dropoffs better but it wasn’t popular with the parents for the reasons OP mentions and because it meant people (sometimes with toddlers and preschoolers) having to stand in the car park which didn't seem totally safe.

My daughter hasn't been invited to any parties and when I asked them advice on organising one for her they said that the kids don't usually have parties at that age anyway and that they usually happen in Reception.

God I wish that was true, I’ve been at a 4th birthday party practically every weekend for the last 6 months!

Yes, ditto! When they move up to the preschool group, 3-5, seems to be when the whole of nursery parties start. Feels like Groundhog Day with the soft play parties!

I don't know why but it feels like the parents are entering our safe space even though prepandemic it was normal 🤔

I like the outdoor pick up. It seems so much easier for them to just toddle off inside, and less disruptive to all of them for people to not be coming inside. The ones that cry when you're not their mummy are awful, it must be easier to manage if the actual space is kept free of 'wrong' mums. I feel like I know the workers well enough from door chats.

Our does have a stay and play on a Saturday once a term though which is very sweet.

Our nursery has done outside pickups for many years.

Covid forced at the door drop offs. We’ve found that the children settle more quickly without parents lingering.

@mynameiscalypso it still takes forever this way, we sometimes are waiting outside 20 mins as a loads of parents do a 9am/5pm pick up at the same time

I’m a nursery practitioner myself and since September we’ve been allowing parents back into the nursery. For our children in the baby room parents come in to drop off and collect, and for those in the main preschool parents will drop off at the door unless the child is particularly unsettled and needs a parent to support them in. All parents will be welcomed in on collection.
We have also been inviting parents back in again recently for sing along sessions, grandparents days etc.
we found that many children settled much better on drop off with their parents not entering the building as it was a quicker and smoother transition which is why we kept it that for the older children they are dropped at the door. I appreciate that this is just our way of doing things and what works for us may not work for another setting. It does seem a shame for you to not see the space where your Little one plays, especially at an age where they can’t speak lots about their day.

We've continued doing drop off at the door as the children settle much quicker but parents come in at pick up time now which is lovely as we can give a better run down of their day than when it was pick up at the door. We have also done events parents can come to such as the jubilee.

Where I am, all the Nurseries are still doing it this way.
Just so much better for the little ones not to have other people's parents coming in and then it not being "their" Mummy.
Plus, with drop offs, they discovered during COVID that the d settle so much better and so much more quickly with a brief handover than some of the fuss that used to happen.
Plus, it helps not having all the extra wet and muddy feet tramping into the rooms.

It’s also sad as I don’t know who her friends are so there’s no sense of community between the parents. I confess to being a little disappointed by that, I was hoping to arrange birthday parties, play dates, stuff like that

1 yr olds don't have friends. That is not within their development. Plus, there generally isn't a "sense of Community" between the parents. dc attend on different days and at different times. Working parents are generally on their way to work, not there for a social gathering.

I agree. When my dd was going we had to go inside to get her and wait around. I would’ve preferred the outside drop off and pick up.

Thanks everyone for the insight.

@Tumbleweed101 that sounds like the ideal for all parties, I’ll bet you’re a lovely nursery

I agree, it’s crap! Had to switch nursery during covid and this new one I have never been inside still, no sense of community at all either. Only know one other parent because I happened to meet her at a separate club. Have chosen a different nursery for next child! Which was way way different. So they’re not all like that still.

@Ilovesandwiches this also sounds very well thought out! Yes it is hard at her age but luckily we at least get occasional updates on tapestry although not as much as I’d like