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Original poster

Inappropriate behaviour

67 replies

hudsonsmaw · 26/11/2020 19:23

this is gonna be a long one, put the kettle on now, and grab a seat... Trust me, you'll need it!!
So, I have a 4 year old, second year of nursery, starts school in August... First year, absolutely fine, no incidents. This year? What an Absolute farce! Not just covid, but my child has been inappropriately touched by another child for the past few months. I've taken it up with the nursery, spoken to multiple members of staff, was assured the behaviour wouldn't continue and that my child's safety was essential and would be assured... this hasn't happened.
My child is coming home maki me aware of incidents on a weekly basis and today, I go to collect from nursery and am made aware the child in wues was caught touching my child inappropriately while my child sobbed no, this isn't the first incident, my child isn't the only child that's become a victim to this behaviour... Which btw, IS absolutely appalling from a child of any age, let alone a 3 year old.
My child is suffering mentally and has nightmares over this traumatic experience but the nursery dont seem to care. My child isn't the only child suffering but nothing is being done to stop the behaviour?
There's got to be someone out there that can help me? I don't know where to take this up, or who to go to? But I can't continue to allow this behav after failed attempts by the nursery for it to be stopped. Absolute any and all advice is welcome

OP posts:
80sColourfulChristmas · 26/11/2020 19:24

Holy f*#k

80sColourfulChristmas · 26/11/2020 19:25

Sorry, I'm just speechless right now. Had to respond somehow though. Hopefully someone will advise more eloquently shortly Thanks

80sColourfulChristmas · 26/11/2020 19:27

Meanwhile, I'd not be sending my child back there again. They're not safeguarding her

Dizzywizz · 26/11/2020 19:27

Your poor child. Take them out straight away. Is there someone this can be referred to - local authority?

HavelockVetinari · 26/11/2020 19:27

Bloody Hell. Firstly, pull your child out of that nursery immediately. Secondly, call NSPCC for advice - the child doing the inappropriate touching is almost certainly being abused or exposed to sexual behaviour that is inexcusable at such a young age. I'm not sure what the rules or guidelines are on safeguarding in EYFS settings but hopefully someone more knowledgeable will be along soon.

FelicityPike · 26/11/2020 19:28

Why in the name haven’t you removed your poor child and reported this to the relevant authorities (Care Inspectorate/ OFSTED/Social services)??!!

JayBag · 26/11/2020 19:31

Ask the nursery what safeguarding procedures have been put in to place to ensure the safety of all of the children, ask to see a written plan and how are they managing it. I e. Is there a staff member supervising this child at all times, if not why not.
It may be worth asking if they have made a referral to social services regarding this child's behaviour. They are only young and do not know what it means at that age, they won't be doing it to cause harm.
The nursery probably won't be able to tell you if they have made a referral but it might prompt them if they haven't

I'm not very clued up in nursery regulations but that is what I would be asking. If they don't have an answer to the first point I would be withdrawing my child as they are not safeguarding your child or the child who is behaving inappropriately

whereisthejoy · 26/11/2020 19:31

I'd never send my child back there. Report!

WindblowingSW · 26/11/2020 19:31

Take out and remove inform social services, nursery, ofsted etc and put it all in writing.

Dates, times and state repeatedly why isn't your child being protected.

I'm not blaming you -but I would have removed on the first ocassions.

Original poster
hudsonsmaw · 26/11/2020 19:31

I have reported this to the nursery multiple times, and have also contacted the nspcc and health visitors... I've removed him from nursery and won't be sending him back until I can be assured the child won't be around mine again. The child mum has been made aware also and is convinced it's just kids behaviour... I have neices and nephews around my child and have NEVER had this happen or even anything slightly similar...

OP posts:
Original poster
hudsonsmaw · 26/11/2020 19:33

I'm just in shock as I thought It had been stopped and measurements put in place to stop this from happening, I was assured.

OP posts:
nimbuscloud · 26/11/2020 19:34

I’d contact the police and NSPCC for urgent advice.

Gojetter95 · 26/11/2020 19:36

Report to Ofsted and Childrens Services for your local area. PP is correct that the other child may be a victim of abuse themselves which needs looked into, it is a huge issue that they also arent safeguarding your child from risk if this has happened on multiple occasions.

MadeForThis · 26/11/2020 19:37

I would contact social services.

That behaviour is not normal in a child so young.

You have removed your child which is the right thing to do. The other child obviously needs help too.

DeeandraReynolds · 26/11/2020 19:38

Jesus, that is awful! So glad you've taken him out. Do not send him back and report anywhere you can. Ofsted yes, definitely.

OverTheRainbow88 · 26/11/2020 19:39

I don’t understand why you haven’t removed your child from the nursery, told other parents and reposted to ofsted.

How shockingly terrible for your DD. I can’t believe you haven’t removed her after she reported it once to you

Scottishmamma94 · 26/11/2020 19:40

100%! I feel so let down and cast aside by this nursery. It's been an absolute joke and after the first incident, they told me they'd escort my son to the bathroom to make sure it couldn't happen anymore... My son is the ONLY child they do this for, but now the behaviour is being done in the classroom Infront of the staff now, which shows me nothing has been done for that child to be made aware the behaviour isn't acceptable. The mother of the child involved is convinced nothing is wrong and that it's Normal behaviour, I don't want to point fingers, but clearly something is going on for a 3 year old to beable to manipulate multiple other children and coercing them into this behaviour

Scottishmamma94 · 26/11/2020 19:42

Other parents made me aware that the behaviour had been continuing only this week, then today nursery also made me aware of it. I was told it hadn't been happening to which it's clear now I was told lies.

Scottishmamma94 · 26/11/2020 19:42

And just to clarify my child is a boy. Not a girl

Scottishmamma94 · 26/11/2020 19:44

@OverTheRainbow88

I don’t understand why you haven’t removed your child from the nursery, told other parents and reposted to ofsted.

How shockingly terrible for your DD. I can’t believe you haven’t removed her after she reported it once to you

I done all of the above when I was first made aware, this is 2 months + after the initial removal of my son from nursery while measurements were put in place to protect him...
june2007 · 26/11/2020 19:45

I have seeen this a few times but each time was more of a one off. (different children.) the nursery followed safeguarding guidelines and passed it on to relevant authorities .i think the hv then talked to the mum. (we don,t know more details as confidential.) Child not expelled but a closer eye was kept on child.

Scottishmamma94 · 26/11/2020 19:49

This isn't a one off, the child in question told my child it was a secret, he was in a 'club' with multiple other boys... The one child would touch the other boys... No girls have been involved that I'm aware of either which makes me more wierded out. If it was curiosity it would be all kids

Glenthebattleostrich · 26/11/2020 19:50

Wow, definitely call Ofsted and social services. There should also be an early years team at your local council. They will be able to advise further.

nimbuscloud · 26/11/2020 19:50

What did the NSPCC advise?

OverTheRainbow88 · 26/11/2020 19:53

How old is this other child?

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