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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

Did anyone have a co-sleeping baby who only breastfed to sleep and napped on a parent who was fine at nursery?

24 replies

bluecheeseforbreakfast · 01/12/2013 20:31

Ds is due to start nursery after easter (so we have some time to change things!) He will be 17 months old.

At the moment we co-sleep, he either falls asleep in the pushchair/sling or car or I breastfeed him to sleep, he is nearly 1.

At nursery they have their own cot where he will have his own bedding and teddies but ds has never slept in a cot.

I imagine I need to teach him to self settle before he begins nursery? How long before should I do that?

We don't even have a cot.

He will have the same "teacher" every day but there will be 5 small children so I don't imagine she will have time to cuddle him to sleep.

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Gilberte · 01/12/2013 20:41

Don't worry. My 3 year old still only goes off to sleep on boob or in car/pushchair.

She went to nursery at 1 and has always gone off to sleep being patted alone (goodness know how they do it).

The only day she didn't go off was day one as they kept trying to put her in a cot and she kept waking up. Once I told them she only ever slept in a toddler bed or a mattress at home, they just put her down for her naps in the toddler bed.

I'm sure you'll be pleasantly surprised at how easily your DS adjusts.

NewChoos · 01/12/2013 21:13

Yes. He was fine at nursery, napped for them in a cot, something he didn't do at home until he was 2…
I breast fed him, lay with him until he was asleep until he was 18 months, we were mainly co sleeping until he was 2!
We moved him to a cot bed and lay on the floor beside him for 5 days after that he just went to sleep by himself (but with milk).

I honestly did not think it would ever get better, but it did.

tallulah · 01/12/2013 21:17

My DD was exactly the same. Went to nursery at 10 months and always slept there. Continued to not sleep at home without being BF

ipswichwitch · 01/12/2013 21:20

DS was bf to sleep until 16 mo, but started nursery at 8mo when I went back to work. I did worry about how they would get him to sleep but he has always gone down quite easily for them either in a pushchair (where he still has his nap now at home and he's 2) or cuddled up in the cosy corner.

He is still awful at self settling - despite us trying different methods. He has adjusted very well at nursery though, and still get plenty of cuddles there too!

Permanentlyexhausted · 01/12/2013 21:22

DD co-slept with us until she was 5 and never settled on her own at home. She went to nursery for 4 full days at 6 months old. I must admit I can't remember what happened but I don't remember there being an issue. They certainly had their own cots though.

HappyAsASandboy · 01/12/2013 21:25

I had two :)

My breastfed, cosleeping, barely-ever-more-than-four-feet-away-from-me twins started nursery at 12 months.

The staff have ways of coping, and the children all copy each other an find new ways of doing things. I didn't try to prepare my DCs in any way, just did some short settling in sessions (2 hours at a time) so that I knew they were familiar with their key worker, and then let them get on with it :)

My DC now go to sleep with a different routine depending on whether they're with their Dad, their Grandma, nursery or me. Each way works fine, but none of us can use another's technique successfully!

mousmous · 01/12/2013 21:27

yes.
the nursery and baby were fine. adjustment took no longer as with other babies and dc is very happy in nursery.

catkind · 01/12/2013 21:28

When DS was at nursery as a toddler they absolutely did have time to cuddle/pat them to sleep when they were new. Once they'd got used to the routine they would all go to sleep happily in cots/mats on the floor, so the staff would have time to look after the new ones. If you think about it, they can't have screaming children when the others are trying to get to sleep - so don't worry, he will be looked after! Peer pressure does amazing things too I think. When they see all the others going to sleep they want to join in.

When you go for settling in sessions, talk to them about how he goes to sleep at home so they know not to expect him to just drop off in the cot to start with.

CMOTDibbler · 01/12/2013 21:30

When ds started ft nursery he was demand EBF, napped when he wanted, co slept, and always fed to sleep. They worked out how to get him to sleep for them, and he continued as always at home.

Original poster

bluecheeseforbreakfast · 01/12/2013 21:34

This gives me such hope! Thank you! The group is 5 children between 1 and 3, ds will be the only new child and the youngest so hopefully there will be time to help him sleep!

OP posts:

grizzabellia · 01/12/2013 21:38

Neither of my kids would go to sleep without the aid of movement - car, pushchair, being walked around as babies, and both would breastfeed to sleep. Both went to nursery around a year and happily had a post lunch sleep on some mats with the other children! I think this is quite common, maybe peer pressure and they would dim the lights/ play music etc ( not that this ever worked for me at home!)

MewlingQuim · 01/12/2013 21:50

Not co-sleeper but feed-to-sleep and nap-only-on-mum baby. DD has always loved nursery and napped happily in a room full of other babies there despite needing peace and quiet at home

MewlingQuim · 01/12/2013 21:52

Yes grizzabellia peer pressure seems to start young!

ReetPetit · 02/12/2013 17:57

you should start trying to break the habit now! the nursery, if good, will manage but it won't be much fun for anyone,your child included and for his sake as much as the staff you should stop the habits he has developed at home.

I can tell you as a cm these are the kind of babies some of us dread and have had difficult settling with - anything you can do to help the nursery staff will be appreciated by then - otherwise he is going to have a tough time as whatever they say, they will not rock a 17 month old to sleep!

Original poster

bluecheeseforbreakfast · 02/12/2013 19:03

reet your experience sounds very different from everyone elses. I would rather not change his entire sleep routine if there is a good chance that he will settle fine at nursery.

OP posts:

CMOTDibbler · 02/12/2013 19:20

I immediately discounted any setting that told me that ds would have to have a routine before he started. I was paying, and trusting, them to meets ds's needs, and that included things like feeding on demand, finding a way to settle him that worked for them, feeding expressed milk and using cloth nappies. Some places said those didn't work for them, and thats fine - just not somewhere we wanted to use.

mousmous · 02/12/2013 19:40

reet not my experience at all.
dc's behaviour at home didn't change at all, was still being bf and rocked to sleep. and still bf all through the night, yawn

at nursery they were gently introduced to their routine. lots of cuddles for any dc that might need it. often you could find a carer on the sofa snuggled up with a couple of babies. lovely sight!

mammadiggingdeep · 05/12/2013 20:58

My dd2 gets her own may and blanket and lays herself down at nursery!!!! She's 17 months. The tinker has to be rocked and patted at home. The staff there think she's an amazing sleeper- they have to pay some of them. They look at me in disbelief when I describe the rigmarole we have at home!!

mammadiggingdeep · 05/12/2013 20:58

mat and blanket

mammadiggingdeep · 05/12/2013 21:00

Our nursery said they would follow my dd's routine and do as we do until she settled...as they predicted she soon fell into their routine. They just miraculously do...they're like baby whisperers!!

ViviDeHohohoVoir · 05/12/2013 21:12

I've only had good experiences too.
I have 3DC and all have been BF to sleep, co slept, in slings etc.
DD was high needs and went to nursery aged 18 months, when I went back to work. I did it over an extended period, gradually phasing her in. She found her own routine in the nursery, including napping at a specific time, on a mattress (she was NEVER in a routine at home). She also drank milk from a bottle, even though she'd never had one before.
DS1 is a far more relaxed character than DD and went to a fabulous nursery where they were happy to work around him (he was 12 months) Cuddled him to sleep until he was ready to put himself to sleep (he ended up at the point where he took himself off to the sleep room when he was tired). He decided to abstain from milk during the day when he was at nursery and made up for it at night, instead. He drank water from a sippy cup. It was nice that he was at nursery with DD, which gave him some comfort too, I'm sure.
DS2 (11 months) has just been phased into the same nursery as his brother and I've just let them find their own way with him. He seems to like being put to sleep in the pushchair and that's fine by me. He will drink water from a cup but won't take a bottle. I was very surprised at how well he settled as he's very attached to me (which is one of the reasons I've phased him in early so I can do it over a longer period of time) and when he's at home he only wants me to settle him - he is very relaxed but also has an incredible temper (a bit like the Incredible Hulk!)
his key worker is lovely (gentle and nurturing) and luckily he took to her straight away.
It's my first full day at work tomorrow though so I hope it continues!

Good luck.

TinyTear · 06/12/2013 13:32

nursery is nursery, home is home

my 22 month bf, rocked to sleep DD sleeps fine at the nursery being patted and drinks milk from a beaker there...

she started at 8 months and they cuddled her to sleep first and then moved to putting her in the cot and patting... ok some days she doesnt want to nap, but that is rare, once a month maybe when life is too exciting

MrsKitty · 06/12/2013 13:42

Both of mine were like that at home. Both started nursery at 13 months and would be patted off to sleep for longer naps than they'd ever have at home...

MyLemonFox · 03/06/2025 12:19

This thread is so reassuring I currently have a breastfed baby who i am hoping to wean off the boob before I go back to work at 14 months. She also co sleeps with me as she's just been such hard work being put down I gave in and in turn managed some sleep myself. She also starts nursery at 14 months and I was thinking 2 things how the hell are they going to get her to sleep and the 2nd is how am I ever going to wean her co sleeping. This thread has given me some hope x

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