What is the LONGEST TIME you have known a child to take to SETTLE into NURSERY?????

[drosophila]

DD is 14 mths old and has done 6 days in a Nursery. The thing that worries me is that each day has been worse than the last. Today being the worst.

When can I expect it to get easier. What is the longest you have ever known a child to take.

Many Thanks

The most annoying thing was the manager complained that my dd had set off all the other babies in the baby room. So much for reassuring me.

how long do you stay with her?

14 months is a difficult age IMO.

If you dont stay long it is easier for everyone. when the parent hugs them and goes it is much easier.

Dont worry about her. If you are happy with the nursery she will settle in the end.

I know of a child that took a month to settle.

Spend a couple of mins with her. I found the manager brusque this morning and insensitive. I assume she will settle but what is an acceptable length of time. I spied on her before she saw me and she looked really glum. Also don't you think things should be getting a bit better not a lot worse as the days go by.

I was spoilt with DS who never cried.

is there a certain (happy, cheerful) staff member who will take your DD for you when you arrive? My DD started at a nursery at the same age as yours and always had to be carried...handed over for a 'cuddle' each morning...and then was fine after I left. She left nursery 2 weeks ago and was still the same ( she is 3 in June) but if there was the same person each morning,who knows she takes a bit longer to settle then that might make it easier. Sometimes it is busy in the mornings with mums/dads coming and going so mabe that unsettles her too? I am sure she will settle in soon without the helpful comments from the manager!

Alp, that the problem there is no real consistencey. I don't get to talk at an great length to anyone when I drop her off. It really irritated me when the manager stated to moan about X (my dd) setting everyone off in the babyroom. I mean I really felt reassured that I was leaving her in the hands of someone who is irritated bu babies crying in a Nursery.

Does anyone think the way she is more upset with each passing day is strange.

DD started going at 12 months, 3 times a week. it's 6 weeks aletr now and she's settled: she doesn't cry when left there and doesn't cry when she sees me again at pick-up time. Phew!

Did it take the whole of the 6 weeks?

I never did!

Sorry Drosophila, I didn't mean to be insensitive. How horrible for you both. What are the options? Are you working?

I tried DS at a childminders at this age just once a week but he never managed a whole day. He's get upset and cry constantly and the childminder had to ring me every day and ask me to go get him as it was just too upsetting for everyone involved.

If it was me, I'd take her out but I don't know if that's an option for you. She isn't happy and the women you describe sounds awful, not the kind of person to comfort her anyway and she obviously needs lots of comfort and reassurance. Ask the woman what her professional opinion is? But you need to be reassured she's not just being left to cry it out on her own. That is just too cruel.

I would be a little concerned that she seems more upset, rather than less.

Does she have a key worker? How do staff say she's been and do they keep a diary?

Cristina7, have you noticed any changes in your DD? Has she become more clingly, for instance?

She became more clingy at the beginning, first two weeks. Really clingy, breastfeeding all the time when we were together. Then she gradually become more confident/less clingy and now she's fine. She goes 3 consecutive days, 9 am-3.30 pm. It was distressing for both but it needed doing. Now I plan to take her out from June (finances) and I feel bad and that I shouldn't be messing her about.

I started DS2 at nursery three days a week when he was just passed two. He cried every morning I left for about a month. But when i spied him through the window he was playing happily and the staff assured me he was fine - and I believed them as he can be a little monkey.

I was starting to get concerned but what changed it for us was when DP dropped him off, he did that a couple of days in a row and then he was fine. He has had occasional days when he cries and he normally says he doesn't want to go but I think that is just him, if you sort of know what I mean.

The other thing I did was get one of the nursery staff to babysit, he couldn't really complain if I handed him to her in the morning when she had read him stories the night before.

Kaz - that's an interesting observation. My dad is here for a month and he's been taking DD to nursery in the mornings now and he says she doesn't cry when he takes her in. So it must be just me. Dh also said she doesn't cry when he picks her up. Something to do with my face, obviosuly :)

hi all,

My 15 month old boy has been at nursery for one week now. After the initial induction of one week,he has gained more and more confidence at the nursery and although he cried fore the first two days in the morning, i was told that throughout the day he seemed happy and content. The nursery staff at this particular nursery are lovely, i mean i must have called 6 times on his first day and they were great every time, updating me on how he is. I am very happy with the nursery i have chosen and would like to add to all those of you that are concerned it is a steady progress and every baby will settle in their own time, its a pointless comparing all though i do understand that we take comfort and hope in knowing how long it will actually take other children to settle.