baby boy - better in nursery or with a childminder?

[fireflyz]

My DS will be a year old when I go back to work part-time (planning to do around 15 hours a week, over 2 days).

I've heard it said that baby boys do better with childminders than at nurseries, as boys are "less sociable" and therefore do better in a one-to-one setting.

But then, all childminders can have the same ratio of children as a key-worker at a nursery...

What do people think? Childminder or nursery?

Ds1 went to a childminder because we preferred him to be in a family environment. He (and we) adored his cm, and he fitted in perfectly with her own children.

Am looking to go back to work atm, and am sure ds2 will do better in a nursery - he is always on the go and needs constant stimulation. I'm not saying he wouldn't get that from a childminder of course, but running about with thugs peers his own age will benefit him. Plus I'm not sure it'd be fair to inflict him on just one person!

So yeah, my feeling is it depends on the character of the individual child.

I agree, it depends on the child.

Ds1 was quite reserved around other children and fairly shy with adults he didn't know, so being able to form a proper bond with my childminder and her family was a good thing. He started preschool at 3 with no problems and is now sociable with adults and kids alike, but at one, that environment would have freaked him out.

Ds2 is more robust and idependent. He's been with my CM too, but probably would have coped with nursery ok, and may have enjoyed it more. He starts preschool in Sept so I'm not bothering to move him to nursery now, but it has crossed my mind.

Most one year olds would be better off with a CM though, IMHO, but it depends on the CM

My DS has thrived in nursery, but like Cockadoodledoo's DS he is a real livewire so has the space and choice in nursery that he may not have had.

I work in a nursery, and others posters say it does really depend on the child, some children are not suited for nursery. Nursery is fab for developing social skills, among other things.

How do you feel about each setting?

I think it is a real gut instinct thing. Am going through this now with my DS2. My personal opinion is that a good childminder tops a good nursery, I like the fact that there is one consistent carer and I think children get out and about more. It really depends on how you feel about the options that are open to you though.

I have a friend who used a childminder up to one year and then a nursery from 1 onwards; her boys have coped well.
(they are always ill though)
My DS would not have coped at all in the 'institutional' environment and I would have used a childminder far preferably for him; he didn't seperate well and is a highly sensitive child
For another point of view, one of my best friends is a nursery deputy manager and she would not choose nursery for her own children, reasons being:
staff are usually young and not parents themselves and she feels this sometimes affects the warmth and quality of the way they interact with the kids
She says that even an ofsted 'outstanding' nursery will struggle to maintain staff quotas at times...staff may just not be careful enough to maintain them at all times
She is frustrated herself at not being able to give the kids each enough attention and she herself would choose a childminder who had only a very few mindees.

Hope some of this helps

I don't think boy/girl makes a difference, but I prefer a childminder environment for a young child, under 3 or so, especially under 2s. I think they benefit from the more home like environment, having one consistent carer to form a relationship with (I know in nursery they have keyworkers, but I'm assuming the other NNs also attend to them if e.g. their keyworker is busy) and also from having a range of ages of other children.

I would recommend you read Oliver James's book 'How Not to Them Up' before deciding. Though he comes from a paticular point of view (anti nurseries), he outlines the evidence on various types of childcare, and seems to make good sense.

Mumsnet have censored a word from the title of the book. It's between 'to' and 'them' and starts with an f.

I started off with nursery at 9m then switched to CM because he kept getting ill and being off nursery, which was no use at all. Picked up far fewer bugs at CM. Am switching him back to nursery now he's 3.5 years and needs more structured group activities. So it's not one or the other, but for a little un I'd say CM every time.

Since when has mumsnet started censoring the f word - I've seen far worse on here and I've even seen it in thread titles. Have they clamped down?