Is it unusual to be happy living with so few possessions?

[Tooolittle]

I`ll just get straight to it.
So met with a friend today for coffee and a chat, she invited me to her home for the first time, she has been to mine loads.
Known each other through work for about a year.

When i got there i was taken back at how little she owned.
Living room 3 chairs a coffee table, and a set of curtains that are 2 different colours, and a fan, the decor was just white walls with one bold color wall.

Kitchen nothing on show just a kettle.
Literally she only owns the basics.
I did say in a nice polite way oh you dont own much, she said why would i want crap everywhere im happier with less, i left it at that.

I mean not even a pitcher on the walls, her floor is wood so she dont own a hoover fair enough.
I used the loo as you would and got a glimps of her bedroom, i mean a huge bed and a small canvas wardrobe thats it.
Her home is empty.

It just mind boggling to me how someone can live with so little comforts, and say they like it.

Minimalist.

I don't have the guts to throw out most of my possessions but I think I would like living like this tbh. Choice can be... overwhelming is wrong word, but a lot to deal with. Simple is good. I like shopping in Lidl for the simplicity of it compared to shops which give you a choice of brands of eg cornflakes.

Well I assume she’s happy if she says so. I’d say that’s fairly u usual, it’s not minimalist which is a definite aesthetic, it’s just empty.

I left an abusive relationship last year so have minimal possessions as exDP trashed everything.

Maybe she isn’t happy with it? Maybe she’s gutted that she has very little. Maybe she feels gut-wrenching sadness over her old possessions?

It’s my dream to live this way, so peaceful. Unfortunately my house is a cluttered shit-tip. Ah well, maybe one day…

I’d hate it, I like lots of stuff out, shelves full of books, lots of pictures on walls, rugs, appliances out in the kitchen (I hate bare worktops, like a showroom). But each to their own.

Sounds fantastic.

I dream of a much simpler life, where I sell my possessions and go and live in Guatemala or Thailand, teaching yoga.

“Stuff” is stultifying, and something I’ve fallen into owning a fair amount of (still less than average I imagine, as I live in a small 1-bed apartment) due to the lifestyle I’ve chosen - corporate career, active social life, certain hobbies (mountain climbing, skiing, camping/festivals, etc.), looking a certain way. I really hope there is a way back, and it’s something I dream of often. Especially when I’m going through a stressful period in my life.

How do you say “oh, you don’t own much” in a polite way?

I like the idea of it, but i also like books, stationery and craft supplies.

Me too im a bit of a clutter bug.

She`s been single for years no kids.
She dont seem sad about not owning things either.

Sounds great to me - clutter stresses me out. Unfortunately I live with a DH with ADHD who seems to thrive on piles of stuff - I put it all in his office and close the door on it 😂

The happiest domestic environment I’ve ever had was my studio flat which by necessity had almost nothing apart from essentials in it. A few pictures mind. It was brilliant. No mess, easy to clean. But then I was brought up very anti-consumption of material goods so it probably rubbed off.

It's not for me, but I can see the appeal. You know where everything is, you don't have visual clutter and so on. I had a boyfriend who was like this. Literally had a small table, two chairs, a mattress on the floor and some bedclothes, and enough stuff in the kitchen to cook what you might need to. He'd never had much and didn't want much.

Sounds absolutely bliss

When I was in my early 20s I moved around a lot and didn't have many possessions. I went from rented flat to rented flat and could fit everything I owned into a single car load.

I've got a lot more stuff now and I'm not sure that the many more things I've got in my house necessarily add that much to my life. There are a number of items from my DCs and other members of my family that are particularly sentimental to me but they could all fit in to a medium sized box. The rest of it is just stuff that I could very easily live without. I like the art I've got on the walls and the books I've got on the shelves but if I lost them all in a fire I wouldn't be heart-broken.

This is my dream ❤️

I like to have colourful walls and photos everywhere but I hate clutter.

A basic room in like a travel lodge or somewhere, is my ideal setting.
Coming home to somewhere clean and clutter free would be so calming for me.

I have DCs though and there is always stuff everywhere.
I am making a conscious effort to try and declutter as much as possible.

I used to have very little, partly through circumstance (moving house, living in a room in a shared house a few times), travelling etc. Then…not sure what happened really. I rented a house, and I think I felt obliged to fill it with appropriate stuff eg bookshelf for things, things for the bookshelf, lamps, books, side table, blah blah.

Reminds me of the Indian story about the monk. He wants a cow for his milk, so buys one. Then he needs a wife to look after the cow. Then he needs something for the wife, and on and on it goes, all because he got that one thing that he wanted and it just escalated. Moral of the tale - just go out and buy your milk from the shop 😆.

If something happened and lots of my stuff was destroyed, I’d only replace the bare essentials.

I have hundreds of tabs open on all my devices. It has been thousands previously though. Sometimes they overwhelm my phone or laptop and all vanish. All the articles I was going to read, all the useful websites I kept as open tabs, all that interesting stuff, just…..gone. I always have that moment of ‘aaarrgggghhhhhh’ and then I just feel this sense of calm. That’s maybe how your friend feels.

She maybe can’t afford more, or likes living a very simple life. It would suit me but I can see the attraction.

I think a lot of us could do with a leaf out of her book. I'd love to have less. But so difficult getting rid of stuff.

I imagine she is happier than most people who desperately covet stuff.

Tee hee@"not even a pitcher on the wall"

But, also, I love this because I was raised poor. No one would know it now but, there is great comfort in not having attachment to material things, because they and this life are transient.

You sound like an absolutely awful ‘friend’. Genuinely. Awful.

@Tooolittle Each to their own. It sounds as though your friend has sufficient for her needs. Materialism is not for everyone.

Does she? I thought she sounded like someone who isn’t used to seeing such minimalism and is expressing her surprise

How do you think she sounds like ‘an absolutely awful ‘friend’’? In what way?