Is it unusual to be happy living with so few possessions?

[Tooolittle]

I`ll just get straight to it.
So met with a friend today for coffee and a chat, she invited me to her home for the first time, she has been to mine loads.
Known each other through work for about a year.

When i got there i was taken back at how little she owned.
Living room 3 chairs a coffee table, and a set of curtains that are 2 different colours, and a fan, the decor was just white walls with one bold color wall.

Kitchen nothing on show just a kettle.
Literally she only owns the basics.
I did say in a nice polite way oh you dont own much, she said why would i want crap everywhere im happier with less, i left it at that.

I mean not even a pitcher on the walls, her floor is wood so she dont own a hoover fair enough.
I used the loo as you would and got a glimps of her bedroom, i mean a huge bed and a small canvas wardrobe thats it.
Her home is empty.

It just mind boggling to me how someone can live with so little comforts, and say they like it.

We moved out for 3 months during a house renovation and just had 5 plates and mugs, 5 sets of cutlery, 1 set of bedding each that was washed and remade. I missed very little. Then we went home, determined to do a huge declutter and settled back in again.

Every year we go on a self catering holiday and spend 3 weeks with very few clothes and possessions. Everything stays tidy and organised. It takes 2 mins to clean because there’s nothing in the way. Every year I come home, determined to declutter.

I don’t know why it’s so hard to let go of stuff you own.

My dream is to have enough money I can buy another house and move into it with only basic essentials, leaving this house full of my shit, which I’m too attached to to actually throw away but I actually don’t really want! Damn my brain!

🤣

Clutter makes me anxious.

I have a lot of clutter.

There a a big difference between living in a home clear of clutter, and having mismatched curtains and no bedside table or lamp. I prefer to be surrounded by books, cushions, plants etc. but I do also enjoy staying in a far more austere AirBnB on occasion.

It sounds great. Clutter drives me mad. I have a lot of things for convenience because I'm a working mum of 3. I'd be very happy to live like your friend if I was living alone.
You sound quite judgemental about it. Why would you question if your friend could be happy having her home how she wants it?

This. I think it would sound rude however you said it.

Don't be silly. She didn't say anything bad, she was just surprised.

Stuff needs dusting so I prefer minimalist

I don’t think she sounds judgemental at all. I think she sounds surprised. What did she say to make you think that?

Not everyone has minimalist friends, and not everyone has seen inside their homes.

Some spaces are well thought out, feel cosy but without the clutter. They have that 'zen' vibe going on. Muted decor can be very calming. There's lots to be said for the headspace and time saving aspects of owning less. However I recently visited an extremely minimalist house and realised not all minimalism is created equal.

This particular place felt eerie. I think extra high ceilings and wooden floors didn't help as it was tremendously echoey. They're highly successful, high earners. They bought this place 5 or 6 years ago from someone who had a LOT of stuff and had created a lot of open shelving, built in glass fronted storage etc. They've not changed anything but have absolutely nothing on the shelves or in the cupboards. Multiple kitchen cupboards and drawers but only 2 or 3 in use (did make it easier to remember where the tea/coffee lived!). The very spacious lounge had a small sofa, pouffe and two plants. That's it. When there were 5 of us there 2 people sat on the floor, no rug, no cushions, no coffee table. It felt like they were in the process of moving out.

What matters is it completely works for them and it's how they prefer it, but did make me realise my minimalist aspirations are not quite what I thought they were!

So true! When I visit an Airbnb and they have beds raised off the floor with nothing underneath them I can physically feel my shoulders relax 😂

I went on a rampage to create the same feeling in my home but somehow doesn't have the same result when you know where the clutter is stashed....

I can see the appeal. When I was single I lived with the bare minimum. I had comfort, cushion on my sofa and a cosy bed etc, but I didn’t have much, if anything, out on show and my style has always been simple. A cluttered room with items out on worktops, knick knacks everywhere and ‘stuff’ makes me feel quite unsettled.
Even now with a full family of boys, big dogs, and an ADHD husband who loves his doom piles and open cupboards, I like to keep things fairly clutter free. My DS often comment on how nice the house feels when we’ve had a tidy so everything is away, and the cleaners have been. I think it’s calming

What’s polite about saying “oh you don’t own much”? Sounds very rude to me.

Aka clutter

Minimalist … or just sold everything to pay for their addiction?!?

@Tooolittle I did say in a nice polite way oh you dont own much,

How did you manage to say this in a polite way?

Edit: just saw I'm not the first to point this out. It's bloody rude OP.

I can relate about their being good & bad minimalism.

The downside is that it can feel impersonal and transitory. Our possessions can create a feeling of comfort, familiarity and security.

One Japanese book I read on the Minimalist way of life had the person living in a small room (saving costs) with only the bare essentials (saving time in cleaning and organising). However, I drew the line at the fact that they were using the same towel to dry themselves after washing to also dry their plate, cup, etc. The supposed advantages is that instead of buying possessions one spends the money on experiences like travel instead, and without having possessions to clean and maintain, you supposedly have more time to enjoy the things you love.

There was a whole section of using stuff that is already out there (so for somebody like me, borrowing books from the library instead of owning them); there was a woman who visiting paintings she loved in a museum on a regular basis, but refused even to own prints or postcards of them; another would 'experience' clothes but visiting shops and trying them on but not buying them. The ones that she really loved, she would keep photographs of.

There was also a heavy reliance on Tech, have a good state of the art phone that could be used to stream, play music, read ebooks, etc.

I did get the impression that minimalism was more of a necessity in Japan due to the population and lack of space/money. In the USA there was the small homes movement with people living in very small houses, often built of moveable trailers - like a caravan.

I think these new ways of living sound interesting but I am not sure they would suit me. Also minimalism is not very conducive to entertaining and hosting, say dinner parties, if you only one or two plates / cooking/ or even craft hobbies.

A few years ago a young woman in her early 30s rented the next door to me. She arrived with a rucksack of clothes an a car full of odds and ends given to her by friends for her new home. She had spent her 20s travelling the world, landed in a city close to me to be a companion to a woman that was going to have a major operation and would need someone to help her for the year afterwards. She fell in love with our area and decided to spend a few years here, she slowly but surely filled her home with the things we all have, sofas, plants, cookware, lamps etc. Slowly but surely she lost he joie de vivre, she just couldn't stand being weighted down by "stuff" She got rid of every single thing she didn't actually need. She went back to being full of joy.
Some people don't need any extras.

We've Swedish death cleared the result is great and so freeing Got rid of so much crap and made nearly £2k to boot. Was totally amazed by what people buy.
The kids were pleased because they know when the time comes there won't be masses to sort out unlike I had with their nan who was a hoarder.

I cannot wait for my kids to grow up, as I have plans to live on a houseboat and will have to get rid of about 95% of what I own. I'm hoping it will be very freeing.

I follow some houseboat accounts on Instagram, it looks awesome.

Sorry, I read that as 'freezing' instead of freeing. My mind was already thinking about the dampness and humidity. 😂

I don't think of it as clutter if is either useful or beautiful (to me at least). I will never be minimalist as it makes me sad.

I can think of nothing worse than lots of stuff. I love having very little. The world needs less not more shit.