Newbie what "Mumsnet rules" do I need to know?.

[kerrymucklowe2020]

Hi
Just joined. Are there any "rules" I need to be aware of?

@JanewaysBun I have an aunt Sapphire. We call her Aunt Fire.

Empress - (you're probably joking but) 'Kerry Mucklowe' is a character in the TV series This Country ...

Empress - (you're probably joking but) 'Kerry Mucklowe' is a character in the TV series This Country ...

Thanks Perdita. Not joking! I don’t have a TV and can’t be arsed to watch much on my phone.

( I also don't have a TV - but admit to watching all three series mostly on my phone, some on laptop.)

Dont post about smoking, benefits or start a thread bugger off and not come back lol. grammer or puncuation.

( I also don't have a TV - but admit to watching all three series mostly on my phone, some on laptop.)

That good? I might have a look

Don’t ever ask why those that are not mums are on mumsnet

You must never give a flying fuck about your children from their 18th birthday onwards or have any opinion about anything they do. They are adults and must make their own decisions.

Speaking of over 18, don't feel any sort of expectation about your own birthday or hurt if people ignore it, if you are over the age of 18. Exceptions may be made to this rule if it is a "milestone" birthday, in which case you may be allowed to express mild disappointment.

Also remember that even though MN is based in the UK, there are posters from all over the world.

But even foreign parents to be may only pick from a short, prescribed list of recognisably English (not Welsh or Scottish!) names for their baby. Anything else will condemn the child to a lifetime of bullying and below-NMW jobs.

You can hide topics. I have hidden baby names and Christmas.

Don't admit to being a stay at home parent. You are expected to go back to a 60 hour week the day after the birth, you are a fool/ fannylodger if you choose to live on your husband or partner's earnings.

If you have a Mother-in-law, no-one on MN will blame you for hating her.

Bear in mind that your experience is not everybody else’s. Walk a mile in someone’s shoes before being too critical or opinionated about their situation.

Like a pp (previous poster), I would say, au contraire, that you must ride roughshod over everyone else's experience in the most opinionated, critical and unpleasant way possible. I do spend a lot of my time reading AIBU, though.
Happy MNing!

If you have a cat or kitten and need advice from The Litter Tray it's the law that you must post a photo of said kitty. No photo, no advice.

To really settle you right in, you could adopt the MN ironic mis-use of 'could of/would of/should of'.

I alway thought CF was cunty fucker, fits better with the general attitude here. If you don’t like the swearing go to Nethuns.

You must go to classics and read Elderly Korean Lady

Ignore anyone who claims that 'DH', 'DD', 'DS', 'DM', etc are annoying MN-only acronyms that are found no where else on the internet, anywhere, ever, at all. They're general shorthand on lots of other forums. 'Ddog' is MN batshittery, though

Also, most of the popular, 'hilarious' Classics threads are total bollocks, or, at best, exaggerated to provide entertainment. Which they can be, of course, just don't believe it all to be Gospel.

If someone asks a question on a Coronavirus thread make sure you start your reply with "FFS. What part of [insert as appropriate] don't you understand? You idiot/dick/arsehole"

Never, ever, EVER admit to cleaning for anything less than 27 hours of every 24 hour day.
e.g. If you don't wash bedlinen/towels on a 10000degree wash within 30 seconds of looking at them, you are a disgusting foulness of a woman.

Also never mention shoes indoors. Apparently most of us are (well, were) gaily striding through dinosaur-sized piles of shit every day and then moonwalking across our carpets to grind it in, all without noticing.

If someone asks a question on a Coronavirus thread

If you have any personal wisdom you are compelled to share with the world about bloody Coronavirus, use the Coronavirus topic.

Stop using 'fuck' it's so unintelligent

Stop using 'fuck' it's so unintelligent

Sorry but I think it’s MN tradition to say “Off you fuck then cunty chops” to anyone who gets sniffy about profanity.

So, erm, off you fuck cunty chops? Please.

Don’t ever disagree with someone or criticise their actions in an AIBU? Or you will be bullying then and hounding/forcing them off the thread, especially if a few other people also independently do the same