Crashed the day after I passed my test. Gutted 😕

[AlexRose5]

Hi everyone, I'm new to mumsnet. I have three sons (11, 4, 1) and two step daughters ((7,8) . I left it so very long to learn to drive and each time I tried, one thing or another snagged it along the way. My son was diagnosed with Kawasakis diseases at 8 months old and the knock on effect from that has been he's only just began to sleep through the night in the past year. Driving lessons were pretty hellish after being up round the clock with a poorly boy . Eventually I got back into lessons and I was so over the moon to have passed my test. I've literally put my life on the back burner since my son got ill and my head has been down making sure the kids get all they need from me 24/7, so this license was a little bit of indepennce for me, no more hour long school runs on foot in the rain 🙏🏻 I went out for my first full day in the car on my own, and managed 6 hours without a mishap, even did motorways , I was so chuffed. It came to 5 PM so decided to call it a day. My husband was driving ahead of me in his car with the kids so I was following him home. I came to a crossroads and turned right , as the traffic to the left of me was in a queue turning right so I was clear and there amwas no car coming straight . Did my checks, crossed over, and out of nowhere a car went straight across my path and we bumped 😢 My husband ran over to check all were OK and got the other ladys car off the road etc, did everything we thought was right. I wasn't hurt but my car is damaged, luckily I was going at creeping speed. The other car was much worse 😢 A man at the scene says he saw the other lady behind the queuing traffic for turning right, got impatient and came outta the queue across the cycle lane and took off straight which is when we collided. I didn't sleep last night and I've not stopped crying since. She says she doesn't know who's fault it was and I'm questioning who's fault it was too so it's 50/50 on fault from what I'm told, but I keep kicking myself. Thank God my kids were in my husbands car. Thank God this lady had no kids in her car. It's going on loop around my head nonstop and I'm so gutted I just wanted to be able to get the kids around easier, now I wish i had never looked at a car. Sorry to ramble on , but I'm taking this really hard and I feel so gutted 😢

Hello everyone 🌸🌸🌸
My insurers got in touch , they said that even though there's a witness to say this lady made some questionable moves to get to the front of her queue of traffic, and although they are inclined to agree that she is morally at fault, the rules of the road state that she was going straight in a straight lane at the point of impact, irrespective of how she got there , and as I was executing a manoeuvre that placed me emerging into effectively HER lane, legally I am at fault . 👎🏻 it doesn't feel very good, and even the guy that witnessed it said he's flabbergasted that she could drive like that but not be responsible for the an accident just because of the lane she landed in. The bit I'm to blame for I suppose, is being inexperienced enough not to anticipate people may do these things. (You live and learn) But due to the really bad way ive taken the whole situation ,I guess it's actually better to accept it as my fault , otherwise it could drag out over a year, and I just want to get it all out of my life, apparently it doesn't matter if she undertook traffic with her eyes closed and her legs out the windows (the underwriters exact words) the collision took place while she was going straight in the straight lane and I was turning, so my car is at fault . 😞 It's not a very good start to my driving career, but if anything I have learned from it. They said the next step is to wait for my car to be picked up and they'll evaluate the situation and pay the amount into my account. Hope to get back into the road soon coz I'm feeling like every day that passes is making the prospect of driving more and more daunting . Thank you all so so much for being so kind and giving me such helpful advice 🌸 I am really grateful to you all. Maybe, over the weekend I can even go looking for a new car , that will perk me up. I'll put a pic on if I get one 😊 Xx

I remember a film from a motorcyclist who was going over 100 down a hill when someone turned right in front of him. The right turning driver was at fault and got done for careless driving, which did not seem altogether fair but it is the rules of the road. The motorcyclist did not survive.

TBH, you were doing all the right things and following the rules correctly, but you were probably tired after all that driving, so soon after your test which made it harder to anticipate. You will find the more experience you get, the more you will be able to anticipate these drivers - you get an extra sense for them! However, it is also wise to know your limits and when you get tired, this is harder to do.

I remember my Dad's Advanced driving book described these as 'buppy drivers' and that advanced driving was all about learning how to anticipate and avoid these drivers. Worth looking into?

I had a head on collision when I was overtaking a parked car and some speeding teenager came round a bend, I stopped (but was in the road as overtaking), he didn't notice and drove into me. That was apparently my fault as I was on his side of the road.
It's annoying but put it behind you and move on

Cherylene that's awful 😳 For the driver to not only have the bikers death on his / her conscience but to also be classed as the one at fault, it's barmy 😳 100% agree an advanced driving course is definitely on the cards 🌷

Felascloak it sounds like there's a lot of injustices out on the big bad roads. I'll be investing in a dash cam just for my own peace of mind 🌷

Beat thing to do is ask your instructor for some confidence lessons. Once you become more confident you will be fine again. Don't let it put you off.

I'd second groovee on the confidence boosting time with instructor. Gets you back in a car. Did my husband a lot of good. Keep going alexrose!

I was just coming on to say that it sounded to me like you were legally the one at fault. You were the one crossing the white line (to turn - which you must do buy onus is on you to be sure it is safe). Added to this is the damage to the front of your car, so you hit her, not hmthe other way round. So I'm not surprised at your insurance company's advice - regardless of what wrongs she may have done, you can still be in the wrong. It's a harsh lesson but please don't let it out you off. And let it be a lesson that you should always expect the unexpected when driving.

And well done on your attitude to this. Someone else can be ten shades of wrong but you still need to be perfect. Like the motorcyclist example above, sounds like a horrible tragedy but you cannot be surprised that the right turning driver was at fault. The rules are not always perfect but they are consistent and pretty clear in virtually every circumstance (I think the only thing they don't quite account for is a situation where two cars are each reversing directly out of opposite parking spots and hit each other).

Great that you can see it is a difficult learning experience and that you know you will be sure to take additional care in the future. In sorry it had to happen but thankfully no one was hurt.

Hi Groovee, 🌷 Without a doubt it's spurred me to get some additional tuition quick-smart. I really think I need a bit of a shove to get my nerves under control now x

Hi Sycamore54321 🌷 I fully take that on the chin, the rules are the rules and although I'm genuinely gutted to have been found at fault the fact remains that I was turning and she was facing straight in the straight lane. It's an experience I hope to God is never repeated and yes I do need to expect the unexpected . The three cars I could see at the front of her queue were all stationary and indicating right, and it's a single lane so in my opinion at the time I could proceed. I didn't bank on this lady coming around her queue and that's on me as a novice driver. Lesson 100% learned so hopefully if anything I can use this as a learning experience x

Thank you Passportmess 😊🌷