Crashed the day after I passed my test. Gutted 😕

[AlexRose5]

Hi everyone, I'm new to mumsnet. I have three sons (11, 4, 1) and two step daughters ((7,8) . I left it so very long to learn to drive and each time I tried, one thing or another snagged it along the way. My son was diagnosed with Kawasakis diseases at 8 months old and the knock on effect from that has been he's only just began to sleep through the night in the past year. Driving lessons were pretty hellish after being up round the clock with a poorly boy . Eventually I got back into lessons and I was so over the moon to have passed my test. I've literally put my life on the back burner since my son got ill and my head has been down making sure the kids get all they need from me 24/7, so this license was a little bit of indepennce for me, no more hour long school runs on foot in the rain 🙏🏻 I went out for my first full day in the car on my own, and managed 6 hours without a mishap, even did motorways , I was so chuffed. It came to 5 PM so decided to call it a day. My husband was driving ahead of me in his car with the kids so I was following him home. I came to a crossroads and turned right , as the traffic to the left of me was in a queue turning right so I was clear and there amwas no car coming straight . Did my checks, crossed over, and out of nowhere a car went straight across my path and we bumped 😢 My husband ran over to check all were OK and got the other ladys car off the road etc, did everything we thought was right. I wasn't hurt but my car is damaged, luckily I was going at creeping speed. The other car was much worse 😢 A man at the scene says he saw the other lady behind the queuing traffic for turning right, got impatient and came outta the queue across the cycle lane and took off straight which is when we collided. I didn't sleep last night and I've not stopped crying since. She says she doesn't know who's fault it was and I'm questioning who's fault it was too so it's 50/50 on fault from what I'm told, but I keep kicking myself. Thank God my kids were in my husbands car. Thank God this lady had no kids in her car. It's going on loop around my head nonstop and I'm so gutted I just wanted to be able to get the kids around easier, now I wish i had never looked at a car. Sorry to ramble on , but I'm taking this really hard and I feel so gutted 😢

[AlexRose5]

Thank you Passportmess 😊🌷

[AlexRose5]

Hi Sycamore54321 🌷 I fully take that on the chin, the rules are the rules and although I'm genuinely gutted to have been found at fault the fact remains that I was turning and she was facing straight in the straight lane. It's an experience I hope to God is never repeated and yes I do need to expect the unexpected . The three cars I could see at the front of her queue were all stationary and indicating right, and it's a single lane so in my opinion at the time I could proceed. I didn't bank on this lady coming around her queue and that's on me as a novice driver. Lesson 100% learned so hopefully if anything I can use this as a learning experience x

[AlexRose5]

Hi Groovee, 🌷 Without a doubt it's spurred me to get some additional tuition quick-smart. I really think I need a bit of a shove to get my nerves under control now x

[sycamore54321]

And well done on your attitude to this. Someone else can be ten shades of wrong but you still need to be perfect. Like the motorcyclist example above, sounds like a horrible tragedy but you cannot be surprised that the right turning driver was at fault. The rules are not always perfect but they are consistent and pretty clear in virtually every circumstance (I think the only thing they don't quite account for is a situation where two cars are each reversing directly out of opposite parking spots and hit each other).

Great that you can see it is a difficult learning experience and that you know you will be sure to take additional care in the future. In sorry it had to happen but thankfully no one was hurt.

[sycamore54321]

I was just coming on to say that it sounded to me like you were legally the one at fault. You were the one crossing the white line (to turn - which you must do buy onus is on you to be sure it is safe). Added to this is the damage to the front of your car, so you hit her, not hmthe other way round. So I'm not surprised at your insurance company's advice - regardless of what wrongs she may have done, you can still be in the wrong. It's a harsh lesson but please don't let it out you off. And let it be a lesson that you should always expect the unexpected when driving.

[passportmess]

I'd second groovee on the confidence boosting time with instructor. Gets you back in a car. Did my husband a lot of good. Keep going alexrose!

[Groovee]

Beat thing to do is ask your instructor for some confidence lessons. Once you become more confident you will be fine again. Don't let it put you off.

[AlexRose5]

Felascloak it sounds like there's a lot of injustices out on the big bad roads. I'll be investing in a dash cam just for my own peace of mind 🌷

[AlexRose5]

Cherylene that's awful 😳 For the driver to not only have the bikers death on his / her conscience but to also be classed as the one at fault, it's barmy 😳 100% agree an advanced driving course is definitely on the cards 🌷

[Felascloak]

I had a head on collision when I was overtaking a parked car and some speeding teenager came round a bend, I stopped (but was in the road as overtaking), he didn't notice and drove into me. That was apparently my fault as I was on his side of the road.
It's annoying but put it behind you and move on

[Cherylene]

I remember a film from a motorcyclist who was going over 100 down a hill when someone turned right in front of him. The right turning driver was at fault and got done for careless driving, which did not seem altogether fair but it is the rules of the road. The motorcyclist did not survive.

TBH, you were doing all the right things and following the rules correctly, but you were probably tired after all that driving, so soon after your test which made it harder to anticipate. You will find the more experience you get, the more you will be able to anticipate these drivers - you get an extra sense for them! However, it is also wise to know your limits and when you get tired, this is harder to do.

I remember my Dad's Advanced driving book described these as 'buppy drivers' and that advanced driving was all about learning how to anticipate and avoid these drivers. Worth looking into?

[AlexRose5]

Hello everyone 🌸🌸🌸
My insurers got in touch , they said that even though there's a witness to say this lady made some questionable moves to get to the front of her queue of traffic, and although they are inclined to agree that she is morally at fault, the rules of the road state that she was going straight in a straight lane at the point of impact, irrespective of how she got there , and as I was executing a manoeuvre that placed me emerging into effectively HER lane, legally I am at fault . 👎🏻 it doesn't feel very good, and even the guy that witnessed it said he's flabbergasted that she could drive like that but not be responsible for the an accident just because of the lane she landed in. The bit I'm to blame for I suppose, is being inexperienced enough not to anticipate people may do these things. (You live and learn) But due to the really bad way ive taken the whole situation ,I guess it's actually better to accept it as my fault , otherwise it could drag out over a year, and I just want to get it all out of my life, apparently it doesn't matter if she undertook traffic with her eyes closed and her legs out the windows (the underwriters exact words) the collision took place while she was going straight in the straight lane and I was turning, so my car is at fault . 😞 It's not a very good start to my driving career, but if anything I have learned from it. They said the next step is to wait for my car to be picked up and they'll evaluate the situation and pay the amount into my account. Hope to get back into the road soon coz I'm feeling like every day that passes is making the prospect of driving more and more daunting . Thank you all so so much for being so kind and giving me such helpful advice 🌸 I am really grateful to you all. Maybe, over the weekend I can even go looking for a new car , that will perk me up. I'll put a pic on if I get one 😊 Xx

[AlexRose5]

LadyLayLay thank you 🌷 I think I was just so chuffed to have passed and I was actually really enjoying driving around, right up til that happened anyway x

[AlexRose5]

Hi Passportmess 🌷 The option of a hire car was an add on and I didn't take it, I just thought being fully comp was enough to cover all eventualities and wasn't banking on having to call upon it at all x

[LadyLayLay]

I think you were bloody brave to get out there on your own so soon! Don't worry about the crash. Doesn't even sound like it was your fault.

It took me three goes to pass my test and a year after that before I felt confident enough to drive around the block on my own!! Even now I get cold sweats thinking about driving

[passportmess]

I don't know how things work Alex but could the insurance company provide for a temporary replacement car? Do you have cover for this?

[AlexRose5]

Passportmess I totally agree, I already feel like I'm going stale by not being out in a car 😳 Even when I was only doing lessons I've have been out for a coupledom hours by now this week . Not sure how quickly the insurance will replace my car (pretty certain it's not financially worth a repair) as I am fully comp I'm hoping that they will shell out for me to buy a replacement soon but I don't even know how long that part of it all takes. X

[passportmess]

We had to wait a wee while after dh passed his driving test to buy a car. he paid for an extra lesson just before buying the car just to get a run around in a car and to check he hadn't picked up bad habits during the lull.

Even if you just get out round your neighbourhood initially. Do keep driving though Alex

[AlexRose5]

MissDallas it helps more than you could realise 🌸 I may screen shot it if that's ok with you 👍🏻. I'm not too proud to take advice and I'm really grateful for you taking the time to give me any x my aim now is to wait for the insurers next move and move on myself hopefully in a new run around . I will put your advice into practice . I hope I get on the road soon as I think the longer I leave it the harder it will be to get behind the wheel x

[MissDallas]

When I was new to driving, my husband gave me two tips:

1. Look properly all the time
When changing lanes, I turn my whole upper body to have a good look before I pull out. I probably check my rear view mirror about every 10 seconds. I am forever looking in my wing mirrors and when I look back to the road, I try to recall what is going on around me. This saved our lives once when a lady in a truck (this was in the US) pulled out from a slip road without looking. I didn't have time to check if there was anything in the next lane before I swerved into it, but I knew there wasn't as I had been looking properly all along the road.

2. Don't drive too slowly
You need to drive at the same speed as the rest of the traffic, even if they are slightly above the speed limit. Slow drivers cause a lot more accidents than fast ones, when there is traffic, apparently.

Hope these tips help.

[AlexRose5]

Thank you Jenijena 🌸 You're right, I really do feel stupid then I kick myself because I know in my heart of hearts I followed procedure and if I had been at fault if actually be the first to stand up and admit it. I couldn't cope with the guilt of injuring someone and damaging their car, let alone be hard faced enough to try to then blame them 😳 But she honestly came out of nowhere, at a pretty fast speed too,and my head is blagged because I am feeling so stupid regardless. I will breath a sigh of relief when tgis is behind me that's for sure x

[Jenijena]

From the various incidents I've claimed for, what sort of happens is the insurers sort it out (usually by getting a local garage to ring you and sort out a repair). You'll pay your excess to the insurers and everything else is sorted through the insurers and the repairers. You'll have to send a written account of what happened. A long time later you'll get a letter and, if you were found not to be at fault, your excess reimbursed.

I know, because I remember how I felt, that you'll feel like the stupidest driver in the world etc etc... But really you are not! The absolute best thing you can do is get in the car and drive again, the experience will make you a better driver.

[AlexRose5]

TheFairyCaravan thank you 🌸 I really hope so too is like nothing more than to move on from this mess x

[AlexRose5]

Thank you Ratbagcatbag 🙂 Yes im insured fully comp, this has been an experience and a half so far I tell you that much. x

[TheFairyCaravan]

AlexRose don't let this incident hold you back. It doesn't sound like it was your fault. It was unlucky that you were there in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I hope the insurers sort it out as swiftly as possible for you.