How to handle?

[theslowdown]

I have a few friends who have late-diagnosed ADHD, and I'm looking for advice on how best to approach something.

First up, I love them. They're brilliant friends and hilarious and wonderful; I have no issue with who they are, and I don't think any of this is because they're inconsiderate or uncaring.

But I've noticed myself coming away from interactions with them exhausted. They have a tendency to talk a LOT, really fast, and interrupt me constantly.

One came over for a visit recently and in the 2 hours she was here, I didn't get a chance to share anything from my side of the conversation at all. She'd ask me a question and then halfway through my first sentence in responding, she'd interrupt to pick up on what I'd said and turn it back to her own experience.

I know that it's not because they don't care – in fact it's almost the opposite – but how can I either bring this up with them gently, or manage the conversations in a different way so I don't come away feeling like I'm just a face to download into?

That sounds tiring, and it's kind of you to want to handle it gently. A few things that can help:

• Say it in the moment, lightly: "Hang on, I'm not finished!" with a smile usually lands better than a big talk later. Lots of people who interrupt know they do it and would much rather be told than have you quietly drain away.
• If you want a proper chat, make it about what you need rather than what they do wrong: "I love our catch-ups, but I come away feeling I haven't been heard. Can we try something?"
• Give the time some shape. A walk, cooking together or an activity takes the pressure off nonstop talking.
• It's also fine to keep visits shorter. Two hours of full-speed conversation is a lot for anyone.

You're not being unkind for wanting a turn.