AuADHD university first year. Miserable and burnt out. What to do?

[Workisntworking]

My DD is 20 and has been at uni for 1 week. She took 1 year out as she had been overwhelmed by ALevels and the choices of course and university.

She worked in her year off and got totally burnt out. She left mid August and actually hadnt recovered when she arrived at Uni 8 says ago. She didn't have the energy to look forward to it.

She has DSA including software that she hadn't been trained to use yet and a weekly hour if both coaching and mentoring which is yet to start too.

She is in a small house of just 6 people. She hates going to the kitchen which is the only communal space as she has to talk to people. Its not that she doesn't want to have friends (she'd love friends) but she hasnt git the energy for it. She's been invited to go clubbing by her house mates but she knows she couldn't cope. Too many in the kitchen means she has to leave.

She is just miserable. She hates being autistic, she thinks she cant cope in any way and will never make friends.

How can I help and is there a copable route out of the overwhelm.?

Mum of ASD daughter here.
My DD took propranolol for the first few weeks of uni, it's the only thing that took the edge of her anxiety.
Is she in quiet halls?
Has she approached the student services for advice re special ASD events? Most unis put on quieter events, things like table top games, craft evenings, reading groups etc.
Our DD came home at weekends for a good few months before settling in. Is that an option?

I think she tool something for anxiety which did not agree with her.

She didnt want a quiet flat because she intended to make friends, but is in a smaller 1 of 6 beds rather than 12. I think her flat mates are fine but talking to them when shes not psyched up for it proves to much.

She has gone to some disability events but is just too tired/frozen to engage properly.

She's gone to other freshers events e.g quizzes, poetry workshop (so not loud music things) and said people were 'insufferable' which is not a descriptor I've heard her use before. She is just locked in a loop of hating what she encounters.

To be fair she has done a lot of things this week - but all on her own, and at reduced energy. Once the noise level gets up she has to leave.

She thought it would be easier and im surprised that shes responded this way. Her best friend from school is actually a 2nd year there and she cant even engage with her. She's wiped out.

My DD rang today evening. Hysterical, hyperventilating and had been sick (and feels sick all the time). She doesnt feel that she can continue.
She did some laundry that came out stinking, 4 printed pages at 5p each cost her £7.50, she booked inaccessible room in the library to catch up on reading and the WiFi didnt work.

I just dont know what to do.

She is supposed to have an hour each with a coach and mentor but still not organised by the Wellbeing team.

Can she switch to Open University and move home? Sounds that she is struggling with the social & looking after herself side rather than the course?

The mentoring/ coaching will almost certainly be on coursework/ lectures, not advice on how to do laundry etc. The court ruling (below) was clear that non-medical university staff do not have a obligation to tend to (mental) health issues, but should make reasonable adjustments for disabilities, such as how they do assessments)

(just as an aside, it is a big issue the transition from school to university, as the legal position of universities is very different, as they are not a school or an employer and they are adamant that they do not want to be in loco parentis. The legal precedent set in 2024 case at Bristol was confusing, the university was found to have failed in making reasonable adjustments, but did not have a duty of care to students)

Natasha Abrahart: University contributed to student's death, court upholds - BBC News