I need advice. My audhd 17 year old wants to go on the end of year holiday with her friends next summer, they’ll have finished their exams and will all be off to university.
The problem is that my daughter doesn’t have a best friend to go with and they’re all pairing up into twos. They haven’t said she can’t go with them but apparently she’ll need an 18 year old to share the room with (to be the lead booker) and there are none. The hotel only seems to do rooms for two not three.
If it was up to me I’d have all the parents chatting and arranging this to ensure it goes ahead because leaving it to a bunch of teens seems like madness but it’s what they’re doing.
My biggest concern is what if they’re using this ‘need an 18 year old’ thing as kinder than saying we don’t want you there - one 18+ could book more than one room under their name as lead booker but they’re adamant that can’t happen. My daughter is distraught but won’t ask outright if they’re just being kind and don’t really want her there - I totally understand why she doesn’t want to ask that but it does seem to be the crux of the issue and it would settle the problem once and for all.
I may be biased but she’s a lovely girl, kind, funny and friendly. I can’t understand why anyone wouldn’t like her but I’m her mum and I don’t know what teens see. They seem to sniff out difference from a km away and I’m concerned that’s what’s happening here.
How do I best support her through this? She’s not wanting to talk about it all and is instead crying and moping about and getting upset at anyone trying to rationalise and find a solution. She’s catastrophising but I totally get why, I’d probably be doing the same in her position.
My heart hurts to see her like this and to remember what it feels like always being the odd one out. How do I help her?
(and she’s already ruled out me going as the adult on the room booking)