Getting stuff done! ADHD, Autism, Depression, Anxiety, PDA and Overwhelm Accountability thread

[Springingintolife]

Heya! I was recently on a thread for getting things done, and it went a bit quiet. So I decided to start a fresh one. Get your woes out on here- let everyone know what you need to do for the day- and take it easy on yourself.

You know, those little things- like changing the toilet roll on the toilet roll holder, calling the docs for an appointment- which everyone else seems to effortlessly breeze, but can be a real challenge for some of us, with whatever is going on in your life or mind.

You don't need to be diagnosed to join us!

How are you today @GreenAndSpringy?

Trying to keep myself steady for some very big news tomorrow (a big, big deal for any ND family). If it’s OK, I’ll answer then.

Answer whenever you want, there’s no rush

Thinking of you @GreenAndSpringy!

I must have been carrying around an enormous psychological load which meant that I kept tipping over into feeling way too overwhelmed by relatively minor challenges.
The meeting happened and I feel much emptier, as if I’ve been somehow purged.
DD was referred for diagnosis a few years ago, had the screening assessments, then the diagnosis and today, finally, we got the result.
Yes, she has been diagnosed as fitting the criteria for Autism.
It’s as if a huge, knotty mass of anxiety has been flushed out of my brain. Feels quite clear in there now, and that will take a bit of getting used to. No doubt I’ll find something else to worry about soon enough, but this was a biggie.
And my kid is more than fine with the confirmation.
The surprising part for me is how binary the diagnosis result is. Yes or no.

I’m sure anyone who has gone through this will relate, thanks for supporting me during this dip.

heya @GreenAndSpringy , glad you got the autism result through and it's helped you to feel a lot better.

Also, with regards to your delivery person bringing white goods, have you asked any of your neighbours who was reliable for them? To find a company you could google your town and electrical goods. There's usually a local shop around who wouldn't want to be out of pocket for a non delivery, and you could call them. Otherwise, your local Facebook group might be able to tell you. I empathise that it can feel like a huge weight, when you're not knowing if the outcome will be what you need.

I'm also waiting for the results of an observation for my daughter for autism, and it's feels agonising waiting to find out.

How long did it take from the last assessment, to getting the result?

Yesterday and NHS letter turned up and thought "This is it." I read the words 'the results of your child's...." and it turned out to be a vision screening my daughter had had at school, which I had been oblivious too. Talk about a false flag!

My jobs at the moment are to complete the DLA forms for her, wash up some pans which have been sitting around, put some laundry away and do some more laundry, and then finish decorating my kitchen. As well as keeping up with cooking a healthy meal each day, which I haven't been able to lately. Oh and my physio exercises each day also. I want to start adding in a youtube dance workout every day too, but motivation is flagging. I guess I'm also weighed down with the waiting for the autism result. I'm trying to let it go, because either way, it's not going to change her outbursts and aggression, and I want to just focus on the here and now which needs doing.

@toffee1000 how did the ice skating lesson go? sounds something really good fund and motivating. totally get that about finding showers hard. once i'm in, i love it. it's the getting in, when i'm already warm and cosy in my clothes or jammies. deodorant really does help though, i agree with your 18 year old self!

@SuspiciousLampshade ade glad your mum is okay and things have improved for you recently! hope you're managing to find ways to conserve some of that energy.

@moggo ggo how are you getting on? have had similar conversations with myself today. I journalled about why I don't just get on with things which make my life better and I know part of it is because of wanting to enjoy each moment, but I've got to learn some tough love on myself- to have some really really boring days, where boring things get done but loads are lifted and overall life is improved! I think I need a carer sometimes, to make me do it all!

@Calling @JewelleryCat @Moonshine5 @Sugarmole @scorpiogirly @yummytummy how are you all getting on?

Hello @Springingintolife 🙂

I’m not doing so bad, still doing the basics. I’m trying to get out of the mindset of “don’t chuck that away, it might be useful” but it’s hard.

I’ve been trying to do a routine for myself and for the most part, I think I’m sticking to it but I also find that hard as well because it’s so easy to just slip back into doing nothing but I’m not going to let that happen.

Don’t worry about doing a healthy meal every day. As long as you’re all fed then that’s all that matters

Hi thanks for asking springingintolife (hope I mentioned the right person) it has been tough I've had a few health issues and just drained. Fed up of being a single parent with no support always working always stressed so many worries and there is no one in my life apart from kids to be like " how are u are u ok" hate it. So tired. Been eating a lot of rubbish and putting on weight. Hate it

@Springingintolife
It’s as if everyone’s experience of deliveries from before the pandemic are completely unrelated to the reality in place now.

And I withdraw completely from social media some time ago (am in my 50s and was an early adopter but can’t handle social media, closest I can deal with it is being anonymous on a discussion page as I don’t have to take anything upsetting personally).
Unless someone already knows a company that has a strong relationship with its drivers/deliverers I won’t be going forward with buying any more large goods. It took me over a year to recover from the dramas of getting a fridge (being still very tender from moving home), and the there is all the ASB aggro from other residents in the building. We were rehoused because of an neighbour’s extreme behaviour (MH related) and a whole other variety of similarly intense problems kicked off in this new address about a year after we moved in. It’s been A LOT. So much that it’s been very isolating as I haven’t been able to answer “how are you?” without aspects of how I actually feel pouring out and I don’t want to impose on friends. I know there is a limit on how sympathetic people can be and my trying (successfully, I had thought) to resolve the problem just meant that I set my family up for more of the same somewhere else, it’s gone on for years now*. All of this to say, no, I don’t have a circle of friends/acquaintances I can ask.

*And yes, I know all about Community Triggers which are now ASB Case Reviews - one of the least enjoyable of imposed “special interests”!

So, to answer your question. The previous ASB got the school to intervene and so bagan a CAMHS referral. That was just after lockdown started - so 2020. That kickstarted the initial referral and some classroom observation, this happened in 2021 I think. Then the wait for diagnosis, this happened in December last year (2023). And we just got the answer yesterday.

@Springingintolife I hope you get the support you need with your daughter once you get the assessment results. It sounds tough 💐...life can be so challenging at times.

How have you got on with your jobs so far?

@GreenAndSpringy I hope your situation improves 💐. ASB can be awful and has a real impact on mental health... ignorant neighbours are the worst.

I did some early morning tidying and sorted clothes for charity shop whilst listening to podcast. I think I need to stop shopping and declutter more to help my mind feel 'lighter'.

I washed clothes which is always overdue.

I have no motivation and really need to exercise or start walking more.
I'm fed up of cooking at the moment so thinking of stocking up on microwave meals as a temp measure.
I've increased anti depressants and hoping that will help me.

I'm always tired but poor sleep and health condition contributes to this.

I hope the sun shines more as it helps my mood☀️

Good luck with your goals/to do lists everyone however small or big they may be x

it sounds really tough @yummytummy i'm in the same boat and i feel like this at times. keep posting on here- even if it's quiet- it really has helped me so far. if you need to DM for an other single mum in solidarity, to ask you how you are, please do :) we can get there, we just have to learn how to carve mental space for ourselves amongst all the chaos. i think it's a step by step thing, it's not like we lived our lives before this practising for the overwhelm.

sounds like you're making small steps forwards @JewelleryCat could you make a box for things which have 'don't chuck that it might be useful' value, and then if you haven't touched the objects in a month, they get to go to the charity shop? it might make it easier to make yourself do the job? it's hard letting go sometimes. i have to say though- everytime I've let go of something and found I've needed it in the very distant future, I've always been okay without it, or easily found one for that moment, or been able to borrow one. I let go of some drills that were in my house when I moved in, thought I might need them a lot. Guess what, I haven't wanted to do any drilling since, and anyone who has helped me with drilling, has had a drill of their own to bring!

That sounds a good idea @Springingintolife if I can implement it. It’s like I just said on the flylady thread, just finding things difficult at the moment and can only really do the basics of vacuuming, sweeping the floor and emptying the rubbish. I haven’t even started on the decluttering even though I must

With regards to teeth cleaning, I have never liked strong minty tastes. A while ago I found a brand online that does different flavour toothpastes. I now have a total of ten of their flavours! And that’s not even all the flavours they have 🤣 Even with all that, I’m still not great at remembering to brush my teeth twice a day. It’s still a work in progress.

I’m booked in for a haircut next week. I actually quite like getting my hair done. I’ve been seeing my current hairdresser for years, my mum has the same one.

I vacuumed today after not doing for a few days so for me, I count that as a win

hiya everyone, how's it going. it's been pretty intense over here. did a huge decluttering and i feel a weight lifted, even though most of it is still in boxes in a corner somewhere. but my drawers and cupboards are finally a lot lighter and make a lot more sense. I've been mostly keeping up with washing up and laundry too. still not putting it away yet, but Rome wasn't built in a day, and great things take time! been learning to reward myself for not having done it all in one go, and that's been helping me have momentum to want to keep going.

I've finally done the bulk of my daughter's DLA forms, so that feels like a huge weight lifted and I've done some other admin jobs which were hanging over me and made some huge life decisions for my future and researched everything I need to, to be able to carry them out.

I feel like it's beneficial to just add one new habit at a time, and it's going well. I've just ordered some really lovely luxury body and hair wash to inspire me to wash my hair more often and shower every day and I'll get it trimmed and nice soon. Regular teeth brushing is going a lot better too.

Things which still need working on, is introducing my physio exercises every day and also my general exercising every day.

My current goal is to do a little bit of decorating every day and slowly get the whole house sorted. Then it's onto driving lessons. Then hopefully I'll be a foully formed human being, with nice hair, sparkly skin and a better income and more studies coming in. Oh and a lot more energy and time to play with my daughter and do art together!

I have slipped when I got down for two days. Its embarrassing but I didn't do the washing up. I started simply, but by bit so its easier for me and I got it done and started tidying up, item by item... it works for me.

@Springingintolife sorry, I have just seen your kind question about how I have been getting on. Hope you are ok. Thank you for this thread.
Not sure whether I have any of the health conditions in the title, but you never know, something is going on.
Well, I have slipped! I have to confess I have let the house go: food scraps pot not emptied, recycling bag not emptied, house needs to be vacuumed. Oops!

John Lewis are good for customer care. Although the delivery men might mess up first time, if you tell John Lewis they get onto the delivery firm and get it sorted for you. One delivery firm dumped the cooker in the front hall, when it was impossible to move it past the stairs. JL got it sorted!

I have done the tasks that I mentioned above and am doing more.

You can do it 🙂

Well done- that's great!

Nothing to be embarrassed about- sometimes I don't do it for a week! It always gets done though- doesn't it? And then needs doing again, and again :)

@Springingintolife aww, thank you and well done to you! (I won't be embarrassed now!) 👍🏻😁

I have problems with household cleaning. My only solution was to totally get on top of it - I moved house and got rid of loads! Now I trust everything away immediately or I know it'll build up and I won't do it. I still barely clean, but try to make myself hoover every fortnight.