Getting stuff done! ADHD, Autism, Depression, Anxiety, PDA and Overwhelm Accountability thread

[Springingintolife]

Heya! I was recently on a thread for getting things done, and it went a bit quiet. So I decided to start a fresh one. Get your woes out on here- let everyone know what you need to do for the day- and take it easy on yourself.

You know, those little things- like changing the toilet roll on the toilet roll holder, calling the docs for an appointment- which everyone else seems to effortlessly breeze, but can be a real challenge for some of us, with whatever is going on in your life or mind.

You don't need to be diagnosed to join us!

I'm here! Sorry I went a bit quiet.

It's my DS birthday today and we're having family round for lunch. The apartment is a tip. My aim is to get the living room looking decent and at least hoover if not mop.

Hey @SuspiciousLampshade how are things in the new place? Has your mum recovered from her op?

Happy birthday to your DS! Hope you get the living room sorted.

My house is also a tip, and wanting to get downstairs tidied so some family can potentially come over this afternoon. Kitchen needs all organising as there's food deliveries and shopping everywhere and I want to cook something every day again- gone downhill the last few days with take-aways, after a really healthy couple of weeks! I might take it easy on myself and just start with the stairs.

Thank you @Springingintolife for the new thread 😊 and prompt.
About cooking, I have an easy way: cook a large pot of lots of chopped vegetables with stock and seasoning to make chunky soup, then put into boxes into the freezer and also keep some in the pot and then the taste improves over the next day. Saves me money. 🍜🥣

Great proactive thread thanks

Oooh I might try that today, thank you! I can do it in the slow cooker, and have plenty of veg which needs eating up.

Well the stairs are tidy, and I've booked for a collection for some charity shop stuff which was lurking under the stairs in bags, and boxed it up properly. So that's something! Living room next.

@Springingintolife thanks for the updated thread💐

Well done on your cleaning and collection booking. I will drop off a load next week to the charity shop.
I need to wash my hair tomorrow. I need to wash clothes next week as no time tomorrow...laundry basket is always overflowing.
I picked up a few bits in the supermarket today... been getting more frozen food in... not healthy but it's something to eat.

@Calling thanks..I will try your recipe too😊. Simple and quick is best for me.

Joined :)

I’m slowly getting better with doing my hair, not so much with teeth. I need to go to the dentist (not been in four years), I’m just a little worried about being told off! My mum’s had to go to the dentist a lot recently, she’s been reassuring and saying that the dentist (we have the same one) is nice and non-judgmental and won’t tell me off, but I’m still a little nervous haha.

hi all not sure if i should post here or on the new thread. for me lack of self care in the thread title really resonates. it is such a huge relief to know other people also struggle like this. but the new title is not something i would click on as i don't have adhd so wouldnt want to intrude on others space. maybe the thread could be in the mental health section again? could get more views maybe? but such a relief it is not just me who struggles. you look around at people who are "normal" and can just happily do all these things easily without a second thought and wish i was like them

the hygienist stuff really hit home. i do have gum disease and i know i should address it but i am quite phobic and last time i felt judged and embarassed and it hurt so really put me off

it is totally not having had any sort of care or love as a child and growing up abused and neglected so no idea what kindness to myself looks like

some days even doing school run and managing to feed kids feels exhausting and draining and that is without even having really properly brushed hair etc

i do hope i can join in as it is so helpful to be able to tell someone that hey i had a shower today

being a single parent doesnt help either as i have no support and no family and friends are "normal" so wouldnt get it. plus it is embarassing

i hope people manage to do small steps today. mine is doing a youtube pilates workout for my back and i did that so am pleased

love reading everyone's input. have a poorly little one and pretty drained myself so will reply to what you are all saying when i feel better.

am not doing much today. it's easy to see how i beat myself up, when i'm not able to do things, but it's about trying to remind myself that life does go on and if i don't have hair brushed today, there will be days when i can have it brushed and have energy for other things also.

@Springingintolife thank you for the new thread. I didn't post much on the other one but would like to get more involved as I struggle with a lot of these things every day. I just don't understand why I hesitate to get things done. It just seems so insurmountable sometimes. However I know that if I get things done then I feel so much better and in control. So why on earth don't I do it? It makes no sense!

Today I have done my pet insurance, responded to some emails and tidied paperwork on the dining table. Next step is deal with the paperwork!!

Wishing everyone well and hope you've all had a reasonable day.

Hi all, can I join? It’s finding the motivation that I have difficulty with. I can do the basics like vacuuming and other stuff but I can’t find the energy to do the other things I need to do

I just posted a long response and clicked something by accident and it all got deleted! Boo.

@Springingintolife thanks for asking, new place is heavenly and my mum is doing alright. She has a meeting with the consultant this week and I'm hoping to travel to see her soon (financially not been possible before now as I'm abroad!)

@Calling I'm definitely going to try that recipe idea, yesterday we made a veg and bean stew with homemade dumplings which were surprisingly easy to make. Was super filling and we have loads of leftovers so that'll keep us going a good while I think!

This morning I dropped the car off at the garage to get some work done on it and it's properly drained me just doing that - now I have to go do a full day's work! I also have meetings today, some of which I have to lead, and I don't know why but that just makes me feel so tired too. Like it just drains the little energy I have and makes me really unproductive otherwise. Why am I like this??

Brushed my teeth both last night AND this morning though so calling that a win.

Today I’ve got an in-person universal credit appointment, and then this evening I’ll be going to an adult beginners’ ice skating lesson! My friend’s been doing figure skating lessons for two years and really enjoys it, so she encouraged me to do classes.

I’ve had a cold for the past few days so I’ve been feeling a little less motivated to do self-care than normal (although I have managed to take a shower every day). It’s still hanging around but I’m feeling a lot better. I remember I used to not take a shower every day, although I’d use deodorant. I remember I started showering daily on my 18th birthday haha. I know not everyone showers daily but it helps me feel less gross and sweaty.

As deliveries need to be carried up some narrow communal stairs before they can get to our front door, we found that the driver-deliverers won’t always deliver. Just getting a new fridge brought in when we moved in was a major drama and involved several attempted and aborted purchases before we coincided with a team who would take our fridge into the house. (Yes, I gave them an unannounced cash bonus as a thank you)

2 years later and we still don’t have a washing machine (it’s even wider than the fridge was and I can’t face the uncertainty and refusals and bargaining).

My “get things done” task for the day is the supplemental launderette trip, the one for the towels and bedding. Just feels harder to push myself into doing it having recently taken the clothing there.

If anybody can recommend a company who I could count on to deliver a washing machine (I’m on the first floor) would love to know. All seems very hit and miss with the major vendors.

@GreenAndSpringy you’ve probably already tried them but do you think ao would do it for you?

@JewelleryCat
Alas, AO were the first company we tried.

Ah I’m sorry for my suggestion then. If there are any around, would an independent company help?

I don’t know how one would go about finding an independent company.

To be honest, this is all just reminding me that I won’t be getting a washing machine in the foreseeable future, I can’t visualise how it can be done and when I try I just feel inconsolable, powerless (I’ve had back surgery and still get bulging discs which get worse when stressed) and tearful.

Am still aiming to make that launderette trip and sort the bedding out today.

Oh no, they can be agony. I hope you can do the bedding today

Thank you for the encouragement. Needed more than you know.

I just psyched myself up, got the money together and left to go put the laundry in the machine.
Except, on doing so, the worker there (not the main boss) stopped me as I was putting in the detergents. Lifted up the top and set off the machine manually.
That meant that I couldn’t pay via the machine. I handed her the tenner, she went off to a back room and I stood there for a couple of minutes (which felt like an eternity) hearing her laughing and joking behind it.
I knocked on the door and she still had the tenner in her hands. At that point I just asked her to give me the change (£2) when I returned.
I’m home for now, a 10 min walk away, and I keep oscillating between benign thoughts - the pay machine wasn’t working - and negative thoughts - she’s on the take. A simple question would have stopped me wondering but just asking can be construed as offensive and I need to keep going back. Uuuuurgh!

Anyway, I’ve done the hardest part which was begin the momentum and I am compelled enough to go dry and retrieve the washing to know I’ll do it. I just know that this encounter will return when I’m trying to psyche myself up for the next session and crush my motivation.

I know that getting a washing machine will seem relatively straightforward, but what I haven’t said is that I don’t have a cooker either, for the same reason, and that would take priority - I’m using two very crappy portable induction hobs.

Other things that people struggle with I find really straightforward. I started gaining weight in my 40s. When I realise I’m big I change my diet and lose the kilos, it’s like changing from a winter wardrobe to a summer collection, I miss the jumpers and scarves but understand that they are inappropriate.

I would say both are priority, a new cooker and a washing machine. Would an air fryer help with the hobs you have? Regarding the washing, instead of the laundrette, are there firms that can take the washing from you and bring it back? I know some petrol stations have washing machines and dryers if that would help

I don’t understand why the worker did that if you were nearly putting the detergent in unless she thought you were new and didn’t know how one worked

Well done for going out and doing the laundrette though in spite of that worker

I’m going to go with the theory that the money machine isn’t taking notes at the moment and leave it at that. It may have been more to do with familiarity (I am certainly not a “new” person there!)

I’m an early adopter of the AirFryer, I got the original Phillips model and it’s still going strong. I also have an Anova oven which steams and sous vides. Perhaps it’s because I’m resourceful, or rather, I have a tendency to think outside the box, that I can see lots of solutions to cooking rather than face up to the dreadful, triggering saga of trying to get a cooker delivered and installed (shudder!).
Our zojirushi rice cooker helps too.

If there was a way to choose and order a large appliance, provide the dimensions of the staircase that needs to be navigated, and arrange a date for delivery without it all going to poo I’d grab it. Sadly, whatever gets said to the salesperson on the phone does not seem to be communicated to the people in the van.

It’s really good to think outside the box sometimes and see solutions so well done 🙂(it isn’t supposed to be patronising, I apologise if it comes across that way in tone). A rice cooker? I have not heard of those before

I suppose you’ve tried this but would physically going into a shop like euronics or any other shop be better than trying to explain on the phone?

From my experience it’s a driver/deliverer decision. The people in the shops and on the phone are there to sell. Being told one thing by the sellers and then being told an opposite version of the thing by the deliverers (and there seems to be no real dialogue/communication between them) is a major part of what makes the experience so distressing.

I’m working up the confidence to approach a deliverer when they next appear in the street. I’ve thought about it already but when I pre-script the request I already know it’s a 50-50 on whether it will be accepted as a potential customer query or dismissed as an irritation. Also, the deliverers never seem to be the same guys (AO, Currys, John Lewis). There was an AO van in front of my house really recently and just as I was about to go down and ask (perfect, as I could show them the staircase) a powerful hailstorm suddenly hit, I knew how unwelcome my query would be.