How about a 'Your best misheard song lyrics' thread

[grouchyoscar]

Probably been done to death before but it's good fun

So for all those moments of 'Belezbub has a devil for a sideboard' I'll start with

Alanis Morrisette - You Oughta Know

'And I'm here to remind you of that cross eyed bear that you sent to me'

remember Nellie furtado singing "I don't know where my phone is"

And "Vauxhall Brother" instead of "Funk Soul Brother" Fat Boy Slim.

I'm so delighted that there are others who thought the wombles were common!!

ditto on the lowly Wombles
lots of Abba ones:
Take your teeth out, you and I know
(poor ol' Chiquitita)
That's when I started to know, that the bus had to go [one of us had to go]
(One of Us)

I don't want to ruin this thread but this website is about the funniest going in terms of misheard lyrics (apart from this thread of course, have PMSL quite a lot reading it!)

A random aside, but I have always thought that Pepsi should pay U2 a lot of money for "Even better than the real thing" as an advert.

When I was younger, Simply Red - Stars

I heard

"I hope you comprehend"

as

"I hope you cut your hand"

was at lyrics

Younger brother and I used to wet our pants laughing when we were younger to The Police - Every step you take.

" how my poo hole aches, with every step I take"

Ii still snigger today every time I hear it

Not a song as such, but an advert on Nick just now has reminded me that I misheard the ad for Tamagotchi Familichi:

Familichi

as

Wobbly Cheese

Toni Braxton 'sage and onion' when it should be 'say that you love me' Can't remember the name of the song, but she's only had one really well known one hasn't she? You know the one, it's really overplayed, and the 'sage and onion' bit is repeated a lot in the song.

No, the Adele song is more like Chasing Payments than penguins.

My DD (12) sings that amazingly btw

King Of The Road.

Real lyrics.Ah, but..two hours of pushin' broom

What I heard. AAh but two eyes of prussian blue.

One Night In Bangkok.

Real lyrics.And if you're lucky then the god's a she

And if you're luck then the guts are sheep's.

Real lyricsOne town's very like another
When your head's down over your pieces, brother

What I heard. When your head's down over your faeces brother.

real lyrics somewhere in the middle of Rocking around the Christmas tree: "we'll have some pumpkin pie"

as heard and repeated by dd "we'll have some fucking fun"

she was right though! it really does sound like that...

not a song but had a good mis-hearing mistake this morning. dd told me a story that her new teacher had told her about a girl who didn't like wolves. the girl ended up with bad teeth from not brushing them and tummy ache from too much pizza and very tired from too many late nights. so she decided she did like wolves.

I was most mystified and began to wonder if new teacher was a little odd. turns out it was rules

took me years to understand the Wimbledon Common thing...age 5 and not living in SW London I think we were wholly reasonable...

another prince one, not a mishear just a better song - little red courgette

jamiroquai, candy in my ears

2 shoes how on earth can you mishear of wolf and man as miss diane??

it's really slow

Italian friend used to sing Terence Trent D'Arby's 'sign your name across my heart' as 'Saturday across my heart'.

Dd famously used to sing 'Dashing through the snow, on a microwave'.

And I can't believe no-one has mentioned the famous Bananarama song: 'I'm your penis, I'm on fire, your desire'.

feed the world 1984: as a 5 year old with glue ear instead of feed the wor-ld, i heard bacon woh woh.

'Israeli men, hallelujah'

my friend changed a line from an old abc song from

whenever i see you, i hear violins... to

whenever i see you i fear violence

We're riding along on a Christopher Wafer the sun is in the sky. Oliver Izon the distant horizon.......
All eyes and chest still a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.......

Quite embarassing but I only realised the day before yesterday that in "I kissed a girl" she sing "The taste of her jelly chapstick" and not "jelly chopsticks" which I was continually shocked by every time I heard it, thinking it was referring to, aherm, lady lips

Have read the whole thread back and have really lowered the tone there, sorry folks

Always wondered why Keane were singing a song about Chris de Burgh (Crystal Ball).