How can I deal with being misdiagnosed by my psychologist?

[Gymnastxo96]

Back in August of 2025 I did phycological testing at a phycologist that I go to and they said my full IQ was 76 which I don’t understand because I type just fine and have good grammar and could type full sentences. Many people say you sure your IQ is 76 because I type just fine and have good grammer and can communicate well. And my adaptive behavior score was 57 which is pretty low. Why would they misinterpret that too? Why would they misinterpret the results and think I don’t understand medical decisions and they recommend medical guardianship. Why would they misinterpret my results? Now people think I am mentally challenged because of this. Are they wrong for misinterpreting the results to make me worse then I seem? Keep in mind I do have high functioning autism so do you think my autism played a role in how I did in the IQ test or you think I was completely misdiagnosed and it could be something else?

@Gymnastxo96 I really feel for you. You just want to be loved and accepted, right?

Having a baby can be a real shock for lots of women. Even women who have dreamed of having a baby for years can really struggle in the early days.

With your autism in mind, these are things I think you would need to show that you could care for a baby:

• can you cope when you don't get enough sleep?
• can you still do the jobs you need to do when you are really, really tired?
• can you do jobs that you don't like doing?
• can you cope with bad smells (like poo) and bad textures (like sick, dribble, mushed up food, snot)? I'm not talking about liking it, but being able to cope if you have to touch them.
• can you cope so with bad smells like poo?
• can you have lunch later than you planned because something came up that you needed to do first?
• can you plan your shopping so that you have enough of what you need, or are you always running out?
• can you do your laundry regularly so you have clean clothes?
• do you know when to change your clothes and which clothing to wear at which times, or does someone need to point it out to you?
• can you put other people's needs before your own?
• can you cope with a baby crying and not knowing why?
• can you manage your money?
• will you have enough money if you can't work for a while when you have the baby?

That's just a starting list.

In terms of a relationship, it's very hard to find the right match.

@cshp this thread isn't ablist. Nobody with a conscience can advocate for someone who is clearly vulnerable to take their IUD out and 'see what happens'. I can tell you, that story would have absolutely no suspense.

If you remove your method of birth control then you are going to get pregnant if you have sex. You don’t sound like you are ready to have a baby. So I think your mum is probably trying to protect you from the very painful experience of having your baby removed from your care.

OP, from the way you write and how you seem to interpret situations, you come across as far younger than you are and potentially extremely vulnerable.
Is your mum perhaps trying to protect you as she’s worried about what might happen if you do have a baby?

OP, I had a friend whose IQ is the same as yours. He also has a diagnosis of autism.

He married and had a child. They split up and the child was removed from the mother for different reasons. Social Services tried to assess him for suitability to care for the child but he couldn't do it.

He has supervised constact with her on the monthly basis and he loves his daighter very much but he doesn't have the capacity to be a a full time parent. I can see that myself.

He is unable to understand her needs or to respond appropriately because of his cognitive functioning. Not because he doesn't want to. He is very proud of her and loves her but he can't parent her and needs the support of her foster parents during contact.

He moved out of his parents' house when he was 35. He lives in shared housing and his bills are included in the rent. He works full time and manages to live independently otherwise. He has friends and he socialises. He can't see any difference between his life and other people's but other people see a big difference.

He can't see the difference because he doesn't have the capacity to understand the difference.

He is also very vulnerable but can't see it for the same reasons. He doesn't see how other people function and cope differently to him.

I agree with other people's observations about your maturity and writing style.

From another autistic woman.

Deleted

It doesn't. And those things aren't tested.

autismsociety.org/contact-us/

Your Mum doesn't want you to become pregnant, because she believes that you won't be able to care for the baby. If you struggle, then who cares for the baby?? Your Mum?? Even with outside support and your Mum's support, you will struggle to care for a baby properly. Worse case could be that the baby is removed from your care at birth and placed in a foster care. For you, that would be devastating.

Others are correct, you sound as if you are in your early teens (possibly younger), not 30. Your thinking is very child-like, with no real understanding of the enormity of looking after a baby.

Op it doesn't sound as if you are in a long term, committed relationship so I do understand why your mum has concerns about you stopping using contraception.

There will be guys that accept that I act younger right?

Not nice guys. Any adult wanting to have sex with someone who thinks/acts like a young teen is by definition a creep. I can imagine your DM worries about that.

This doesn’t seem right? I understood ‘high functioning autism’ requires a high IQ as part of the profile? Tbh I think you should seek a second opinion/assessment or someone independent to advocate for you and make sure that that you understand the diagnostic report in its entirety?

There will be some lovely young men out there who have the same developmental age as you who would make brillant boyfriends for you. You and them can be helped by your and their parents to work out how relationships work. I bet there are some events for people with a learning disability in new york like maybe a club night or a social group where you could make friends and meet a new boyfriend?

These guys at the ark look like they might be able to help you to make friends and to get more independent if you would like https://thearcny.org/chapter-programs/

If it helps, if a fully able 30 year old woman in an unstable relationship living with and dependent on her parents who are not supportive of having a child was talking about having her IUD removed because she wanted a baby, I’d be pretty strongly trying to talk her out of it too - it’s a terrible idea, not least for the baby.

Don’t know how people don’t understand what is being written.
Seen a lot worse on here and no one has suggested the op was not capable of looking after themselves.

My question would be

Who paid for these tests?

If it was your mum/parents then of course that is the results you are going to get.

If you need to take this test again you need to book and “pay” for one yourself without telling your mother or anyone what you are doing
Only going off what little I know about American health care. But presumably you have health insurance through your job. could you book an independent psychologist to re test you through your own company health insurance and a doctor to remove your contraceptive device

Saying your mother wouldn’t allow things isn’t really a reason you haven’t moved out to live independently.
You are an adult.
You look at what you can afford taking into account bills, food and all the other things you have to pay and what you have left over to pay rent.

Same with your fertility. This is your responsibility and nothing to do with your mother.

You seem very enmeshed with your mother.
If you have been in work for several years what sort of savings do you have. What control over your pay do you have

Is your mother getting any money from the government or are you paying an inflated amount to live at home.

I actually think the issue could be you live like a child, and get treated like an incapable child and have grown into the role

If you can make the transition to independent living then you will grow up fast.

Having a high IQ isn’t about how well you write etc it is about concepts and the ability to problem solve

Honestly? Not decent men. Good men who want to have children, will look for someone who is mature, independent, and capable of being a good mother..

I would have concerns about a man who wants a partner who acts much younger than she is.

I would score petty low on current IQ tests due to my processing skills. I worked hard and built a good career and did well. These tests are not fit for purpose. They do not account for people who have processing or comprehension difficulties. They are very out dated tests and shouldn't be used at all.

This is very irresponsible advice if OP is indeed a vulnerable person. It's fine if directed to someone capable of independence, but it seems like OP isn't. Her plan to support her child is to find a man to do it. No plan for if that man were to leave her. She's not even in a relationship. OP can get an independendent intervention if she feels the arrangements are unfair.

No, it means that there was no language delay.

If processing is a problem that is much lower than the rest of the scores, it would be taken out of the scoring before the score was calculated.

@Gymnastxo96 I am an American woman who is also autistic, just like you (and I have ADHD as well.) I am an older adult like you (though I am older, I am 44.) It was definitely a struggle to accept my issues and limitations.

You need to really think about why you are so desperate to get re-tested and have a "second opinion".

I think what you want isn't a second opinion, but a DIFFERENT opinion. You do not agree with what the tests said about you, because you do not feel that you match the low numbers in the results. You are denying the actual professional results that you got and not even trying to accept them. You are covering your ears and closing your eyes and saying "La la la, I can't hear you!" and pretending that those results must be wrong, because you don't like those results.

I understand. None of us like being defined by numbers or "IQ ranges". A couple of numbers on a piece of paper do not show who we are.

As someone who is in the same situation as you, I still live at home with my mother and older sister. I have a different background and a different path that led me to this situation, as I do not live at home with my family JUST because I "am autistic". I work at my family's business, where I've worked for most of my life.

But because of my autism, there are a lot of "normal adult" things that I cannot do at all, or that I struggle with. I have lived with my family for most of my life. I lived with my boyfriend for three years and I did a really bad job of living independently. I messed up a lot of things, because I refused to accept who and what I was, and refused the help and support that others offered to me. I wanted to "prove" that I could do it all myself, when I literally could not. This is not because I didn't try hard enough, or because I didn't practice being independent enough. It's because I am physically and mentally limited due to my neurological condition. It's nothing to be ashamed of or angry about. I was born like this, and there is no "miracle cure". When we are autistic, we have to accept our limitations (which are different for every person!) and work within those limitations.

I know my post is long, and I'm sorry. I do hope you read it, because I understand what you're going through. I want very much to live independently and move out, but I know I cannot and I am not functional enough for that right now, and maybe I never will be ready. And that's okay. It doesn't make me less of a person, or undeserving of respect. Give yourself some grace as well.

By the way, I have been on birth control my entire life. Even before I was diagnosed, I knew that I could not handle raising a child. I have an IUD as well. I've had it for six years now.

If you truly want to see how you feel about babies, many NICUs and children's hospitals have "baby cuddler" volunteers who cuddle, sing, and read to babies whose parents cannot visit them in the hospital every day. Perhaps you could look into one of these programs, or some other way to volunteer around babies, so you can get some practical experience with being around babies.

And remember, the psychologist was not "out to get you" or trying to ruin your life or hold you back. They are just a doctor doing their job, and they could get into a lot of trouble if they lied or intentionally misdiagnosed you on the report.

OP I have a relative in the UK who sounds just like you. She did have children and her father who is 80 is responsible for helping her raise them. She does the fun stuff, the playing the walking them to school etc but her dad has to do everything else and he ought to enjoying old age not living the life of a father of multiple young children.

One of her children also has quite severe autism and she has nothing to do with them because she cannot cope. She leaves this child with its father, it doesn’t attend family events it doesn’t appear in family photos. What would you do if you could cope or didnt like your child? Your mum probably has a good idea of what you can cope with and she has real concerns you wouldn’t be able to undertake the hard parts of parenting.

my relatives parents when both alive placed a huge value on having and raising children and the rest of the family raised an eyebrow when she kept having them. When her father becomes too incapacitated or dies she will be unable to look after her children alone and then what? It will fall to her siblings or the state.

OP I understand your biological imperative doesn’t care about your IQ or autism but society does. Could you practice being responsible with a cat or a dog for example? Try taking responsibility for something that relies on you 100% to see how you mange?

This is why the fertility of dependent offspring is every bit the business of the parents.

Oh - I always understood my kids were labelled as high functioning as they have high IQ, but they both had language delay until about 4/needed speech therapy to pronounce words. They have strong verbal communication skills as young adults after considerable intervention, but they are still referred to as high functioning? I guess there are multiple variables that go into the diagnosis, that I clearly don't understand.

@Gymnastxo96 what was your cumulative GPA in high school, and did you graduate? Were you in any of the special needs classes (in my day, they were called LD classes)?

I didn’t ever have any firsthand experiences with guardianships, but I do know that Britney Spears didn’t have any special needs (that we know of), and yet her father was able to gain guardianship (for many years) through the courts, and was in charge of her birth control. I think the guardianship topic is bigger and more complex than what any of us on MN can advise on.