How can I deal with being misdiagnosed by my psychologist?

[Gymnastxo96]

Back in August of 2025 I did phycological testing at a phycologist that I go to and they said my full IQ was 76 which I don’t understand because I type just fine and have good grammar and could type full sentences. Many people say you sure your IQ is 76 because I type just fine and have good grammer and can communicate well. And my adaptive behavior score was 57 which is pretty low. Why would they misinterpret that too? Why would they misinterpret the results and think I don’t understand medical decisions and they recommend medical guardianship. Why would they misinterpret my results? Now people think I am mentally challenged because of this. Are they wrong for misinterpreting the results to make me worse then I seem? Keep in mind I do have high functioning autism so do you think my autism played a role in how I did in the IQ test or you think I was completely misdiagnosed and it could be something else?

That sounds very hard on all of you, KinshipGran. May I ask if you have been able to set up any plans for the future care of the children?

Who is it that is telling you you will make a good mum one day?

If you mean people on here then they don't count.

They don't count because they don't know you but they are trying to be nice.

They know you want to be a mum one day so they are saying it because its what you want to hear and not because it is true.

In your real life, your mum has medical guardianship and you have had an IUD fitted so that you don't become pregnant. That is because the people who know know and really care about you know that you aren't able to care for a child independently.

@PingoDome Now that they’re in their teens, it’s easier to assess how they will manage as adults. It’s become more evident over the past year. My to-do list gets longer every week.

With all the cutbacks in resources (UK), I have to assume there will be little support from Social Work beyond pointing me in the direction of third sector organisations. There’s also the possibility of Social Care recognising them officially as vulnerable adults.

School is looking into a new college course that will target kids who need to be taught living skills in a more specialised way.

I have covering letters from social work and lawyer, outlining their legal situation re the residence order. The bank will register them as vulnerable customers due to ACEs affecting learning outcomes. I think it gives the bank greater oversight of transactions something like a gohenry card.

Dh and I are both experiencing mild cognitive decline, his for health reasons, mine almost certainly due to stress. So we need to set up POA with our other children and have watertight finances and wills. They in turn will need to do the same.

Of course, this is the (relatively) easy stuff. The emotional stuff is off the charts awful.

I can half-imagine, yes. I have an autistic DC and it was rough enough trying to get him the help he needed when he was a primary aged child and I was still in my 30s and had more energy. I can't imagine starting over in 60s and 70s.

DS is a similar age now to the OP, self aware, employed, and in a relationship. He worries that he wouldn't cope with the noise, relentlessness and anxiety of raising children. I agree with him; DH thinks they would "work it out", but his version of working it out was mostly to leave it to me. I don't think I could face taking in a baby if it went wrong.

We so often see posters on here saying indignantly that if it were them, they couldn't possibly see a niece, grandchild etc go into the care system, and they would "take them in a heartbeat". But real life isn't like that.

Meant to say that ds's partner has somewhat similar issues to him (I'm not privy to her exact medical information) so the chances of extra needs in a child are high, as in your case.

You have said a few times you think you could be a good mom with support.

What support do you think you would need and who would give it?

Your mom is not happy with providing that support, which is why she wants you to keep the IUD in place. So who else would be able to give you that support.

This reads like a conversation with a bad AI.

I think, going back to the original question "How can I deal with being misdiagnosed by my psychologist?", that Gymnast needs to learn to deal with the diagnosis, rather than assuming that it's incorrect.

That's not easy.

This is what its like having a convo with someone asd and not liking been told they have a condition or what they want is wrong. My mom is very black and white like this. There is no space for maybe its better for her not to have kids as the kids wont benefit. Its all about the person wants and the bipolar makes it worse. This is the type of person that gave birth to me and no longer speak to. And will never be left alone with my child as couldnt even trust her for five minutes

Ok I'll be the one to say it. No, you shouldn't have children because of your disability. Your conversations (and being able to reply to every comment means nothing) indicate that you simply don't have the level of cognitive functioning required. You claim not to be able to remember that you repeat yourself, yet on the previous page you repeat the same answer four times to different people (unless you are in fact an AI bot and we've all been duped).

I've related my own experiences more than once - my cognitive function and intellectual abilities are about as high as you can get (science PhD, member of Mensa) but my autism does cause me some difficulties, for example, around rigidity of routine/scheduling/planning (very difficult not to change plans when you have small children) and sensory issues, particularly around noise - impossible to avoid with a baby. I also suffered horrendous bullying as a child due to my autism, and wouldn't want another child to go through that - and it's very likely any offspring of mine would have inherited it too. For those reasons I decided that I would never have children.

Im.so sorry you've had to experience that.

Op - please take this thread and discuss it with your Mum. If you had a committed partner, perhaps getting a pet would be a good idea? Lots of lots of couples get a pet before they decide to have children, and many don’t decide to have children also.

Don’t try to run before you learn to walk!

What support does your mum
currently give you? Who will support you if she becomes unwell and/or unable to in older age?

I have autism and adhd and 3 children with additional needs. Each one has needed significant help so far in life to get through school and relationships/friendships. Advocating for them in a system set against them takes a lot of mental energy and knowledge. Trying to meet my own needs and those of my children is really difficult. I’m a single parent. Fully independent and high IQ but I’m drowning a lot of the time.

It was my friends that said I am able to be a good mom one day. So you are saying I should never have kids due to my disability? That was a goal of mine and I’ve always wanted to be a mom. Why are you being abelist? It’s not fair.

I think the support that I need in order to have a child is taking parenting classes and leaning the skills in order to have a baby. It’s ableist for people on here to say I will never be able to have kids because of my disability.

Children aren't 'goals' to achieve - they're a want. It would be selfish of you to have children yes, and I'm not being ableist to say that. Some disabilities are incompatible with the ability to raise children, and I include my own in that

I think the support that I need in order to have a child is taking parenting classes and leaning the skills in order to have a baby. It’s ableist for people on here to say I will never be able to have kids because of my disability

It’s scary that my cognitive functioning is bad. What causes this and how can I improve on it? It’s not dangerous for my health right?

You can't improve it. You can learn skills to function a bit better. But the function won't improve. And I'm sorry, but nothing you are showing here about the way you process information makes me think you would cope with an unpredictable baby.

Your friends are just being kind because they don't want to hurt you. I suspect a professional would not agree with them.

Bluntly, OP, being a good parent means putting your own desires or goals second to keeping your children safe and well, and raising them with the skills and emotional resilience to live good lives -- this becomes especially acute if there's a strong possibility of your child inheriting some of your condition/s and therefore needing a form of parenting that is even more demanding than a child without any additional needs

Reread @ChampagneCharlotteLemonadeBudget 's posts, which I think are very moving and generous in her explanation of how she arrived at her decision not to have a child.

The UK Charity About Learning Disabilities estimates that between 40 to 60% of children born to parents with learning disabilities are not brought up by those parents. That is a traumatic loss for both the children and the parents.

Hi. I haven't read all the responses since I commented on the first page, but I did want to say that my adult daughter has a moderate learning disability. She has an IQ score of 56 but she has a very "spikey" profile, in that she is very capable in some areas but not in others. She comes across socially as much more able than she really is - her verbal communication is strong for example. But she gets things wrong - for example she chats to strangers on the bus, gives out personal information, makes inappropriate jokes, and she constantly misunderstands things, gets confused, gets annoyed, takes offence etc.

Having a learning disability also leads her to keep trying the same thing over and over rather than look for an alternative strategy. She will also get annoyed and go for the easiest option eg she will yank a chain off and break it rather than unclasp it.

She cannot plan and organise very well, which is partly why her bedroom is such a mess. She literally cannot understand how to sort it out one step at a time.

She cannot budget money for similar reasons. She also makes impulse purchases and runs out of money quickly.

She overestimates her abilities, especially as people keep telling her she could do this and thst, based on how she comes across.

No way could she care for a baby. In fact, she is adopted and her birth mother also has a learning disability and neglected her, which is partly why she was removed. Her birth mother was also targeted by a pretty nasty man (birth father), who moved in to sexually abuse her older daughters, which is the other reason she was removed.

Learning disabilities are tricky - on the one hand, people with lds are allowed free will and to do what they want, just like everyone else. On the other hand, they can be vulnerable, can over estimate their abilities, and can get into situations they can't manage, with devastating consequences.

OP, I hope you stay safe x

It's not ableist, it's realistic.

Everyone- disabled or not- has things they cannot do.

As I said further up, I cannot become a professional basketball player. If I made a post asking if I could be, people would say, absolutely not.

The difference is that if I gave up everything with the goal of becoming a basketball player, I would ruin my life. If you have a baby that you cannot look after, you will ruin your own life, your baby's life and quite possibly your Mum's life.

Parenting classes are useful but assume a basic level of ability to retain and apply the information given, which your responses on here indicate that you don't have.

In response to your other comments, your cognitive function is not dangerous to your health. Everyone has different levels of cognitive function and most of us need support one way or another, and need to set goals which are achievable for us. I have AuDHD and I have one child because I know I would struggle to manage two children. I choose not to apply for promotion at work because I don't think I would cope with the extra pressure and workload. I understand my limitations.

I do feel for you as it seems that you were unaware of most of this until the age of 30, and no-one has explained what the results mean. You really should have had a good understanding of how your disability affects you from childhood and been continuously supported to understand and achieve your potential. How was your experience of school? Were you in mainstream?

Clearly the people around you who are responsible for your care have decided a baby would not be in anyone's best interests. Yours included. And that is why you have an IUD.

No one on here is telling you what to do. But your situation is what it is and you are not going to get any answers on this thread that change that.

Parenting classes would be helpful to you you need to have the capacity to understand, remember and apply them. And no one else can do that but you. If you are unable to do so then the care of any child you had would fall to someone else.

That is what people are saying.
.

Yeah but I don’t think it’s fair for people to assume that I can’t be a mom because of my disability. I want to have that opportunity. I am not as bad as people think. I have experience with children. I don’t care what anyone thinks I am going to have a baby one day because I have always wanted to be a mom and I will do the best I can. I have the capacity to understand about parenting classes and what it entails.

Gymnast, why would you want to make your life so much harder? You aren't fully able to look after one person (you). You would find it so much harder to look after two.

What is it about a baby that you want? Does it just feel like a longing that you can't explain, or is it because you want something to look after, or because you miss the fun of being a child yourself, or something else?

If you can work out WHY you want a baby, you might be able to make yourself happy and fulfilled without having your own child. You could help with children's events, or care for pets, or join a club that does fun trips out.