How can I deal with being misdiagnosed by my psychologist?

[Gymnastxo96]

Back in August of 2025 I did phycological testing at a phycologist that I go to and they said my full IQ was 76 which I don’t understand because I type just fine and have good grammar and could type full sentences. Many people say you sure your IQ is 76 because I type just fine and have good grammer and can communicate well. And my adaptive behavior score was 57 which is pretty low. Why would they misinterpret that too? Why would they misinterpret the results and think I don’t understand medical decisions and they recommend medical guardianship. Why would they misinterpret my results? Now people think I am mentally challenged because of this. Are they wrong for misinterpreting the results to make me worse then I seem? Keep in mind I do have high functioning autism so do you think my autism played a role in how I did in the IQ test or you think I was completely misdiagnosed and it could be something else?

Yea you are right it’s not creepy at all for a guy to date someone intellectual disabled! I know the red flags when someone is trying to take advantage of me.

I am trying to achieve that I am not low functioning and we shouldn’t go by a label we should go my abilities and what my strengths are. I am able to improve my independent living skills with support and I’m doing a good job at it. I am able to understand that I am no where near ready for a baby just yet and I need to live independently and not rely on my parents.

I think the real worry is that you don't fully seem to grasp how vulnerable you are or recognise what your limitations are in life.

But the doctor said I had borderline intellectual functioning which doesn’t mean intellectual disability. It’s the borderline of it so I am not mentally challenged. I am able to live independently in the future without support by learning skills and what it takes to be independent. I am able to do it I am trying my best so I can be independent and live on my own. That is my goal.

They said I had borderline intellectual functioning which is the borderline of intellectual disabled but I don’t have an intellectual disability. It’s in the middle.

What red flags have you spotted?

Sorry, but this doesn't make any sense at all.

An Occupational Therapist might be helpful to help you learn some practical life and community oriented skills that you seem to lack, according to your report.

She means that the scores aren’t quite low enough to be formally diagnosed with an intellectual disability but still significant enough that she will have difficulties in academic, cognitive and adaptive areas.

Ok I will definitely see an occupational therapist and see if they can help me! What will they help me with and what can I ask them to help me with when I see one?

Talk to your mother about it. Her support with it will be helpful and you should find someone who is familiar with your own issues. They can help with a range of different things. Tell them your goal is to develop independence skills and they can work out what that looks like for you, then come up with a plan. Sometimes they will even take you out, or organise support like another worker or your mother to work on things within the community.

The red flags I’ve spotted if they just want sex right away and don’t want to get to take their time to get to know me. And another red flag I know is when they ask for personal info too soon and are talking sexual right away so I know the red flags! I am definitely not low functioning at all and I understand relationships!

One way for you to look at improving your independence and get support via an advocate for navigating your journey is via https://ncil.org/about/independent-living/what-cils-and-silc-do/ .

Ok I will definitely check this out! People won’t think I am low functioning if I try to understand what they are saying and I work hard to become more independent? I am trying my best to become independent and to live on my own!

Yes you are right! I am going to focus less on labels and focus more on becoming more independent!

And that's something we all need a bit of help with. I have a younger brother who needs some support with independent living. Through help he's learnt how to do his own laundry, safely make his own hot drinks and do some of his own cleaning. There's help out there to safely learn more, it just takes time, patience and making sensible decisions on safety. For example I have epilepsy. On days when I don't feel so well I don't cook any food on the hob, as there is no timer on that. So if I'm poorly I might accidentally start a fire. So on those days I use the microwave or oven with a timer set to turn it off after the food cooking time. My brother can't safely use sharp knives, so he either has someone help him or buys precut vegetables etc.

I notice you didn't mention any cooking skills. It looks like that service mentions being able to provide help with cooking skills. Could be a useful step!

I can definitely cook good! I can bake too! I make dinner for myself and follow recipes and it’s very good!

That's great news. As I say, I'd focus on working on independence and getting your own place at some point when ready. No need to rush though, just get working on the skills you'll need and reaching out to organisations like that one I mentioned. It can only help to improve things!

The desire for a baby and removal of IUD needs to be on the backburner. Plenty of time still for that. I get the urge for a baby. I'm a similar age and it's actually a natural body urge that a lot of women get. So sometimes requires a bit of sensible thinking to realise that it isn't time yet. And it's so expensive even if you have a partner! Extra person to feed and clothe, plus the need for their own room, healthcare and childcare. They are very time demanding as well.

Many people your own age will be wanting babies at some point, but that doesn't mean that they will end up having any yet, if at all. Because of those costs.

Yes, I wasn’t referring to individuals who were previously given a diagnosis of Asperger’s. I’m aware that there is a significant community of people that prefer the term Aspie rather than autistic.

I also don’t disagree that one umbrella term for autism isn’t terribly helpful. It’s made life more difficult for all of us affected by autism, both those of us who are autistic and our family members. And of course professionals too.

Nevertheless, if the diagnosis has been removed from the DSM, it’s not a term that should continue to be used by professionals for new cases. That’s my issue. It was removed 13 years ago - professionals should be following current guidelines not unilaterally deciding for themselves what diagnoses they’ll use.

Hopefully in the future they’ll recognise that more definition is required rather than just an umbrella term and will come up with alternative phrasing/diagnostic criteria. Until then though they should be following current guidelines.

I think it will help you a lot to stop worrying about if you are high or low functioning and just accept you are who you are.
Like most people you will have strengths and weaknesses and it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.

Instead of trying to make people change their opinion of you, try focusing on making yourself happy and stop trying to be like everyone else because it’s ok to be an individual.

Ask yourself why you want a baby?
I am a support worker for people with learning difficulties, autism and other challenging conditions, I have come across a lot of women who want to have a husband and a baby because they think that’s what you do to live a normal life and they want to be seen to be like everyone else.
But lots of people are choosing to be childfree now and have very fulfilled happy lives.

I am childfree and I have lots of lie ins and sometimes spend a whole day just relaxing at home, I enjoy travelling, having a peaceful tidy house, nights out with friends, lots of hobbies. I have a lot more freedom than my friends with children and I am happy with that.
It doesn’t make my life right and theirs wrong, it’s just different choices that suited us as different people.
My partner is autistic and wouldn’t cope with a baby, there is nothing wrong with that and it’s actually a very mature decision to make.

You could have the support to live independently eventually and join some groups and make some friends, have some hobbies and maybe have a boyfriend to share some good times with.
Lots of women your age are doing the same and enjoying dating and having fun rather than thinking about getting married and settling down yet.

Have you spent any time with babies and children? Do you know how demanding they can be? They need constant care and attention every minute of the day and night can you see yourself being able to give that alone without help? If you have a partner they would probably have to work to support you so you can’t count on them sharing parenting with you equally.
What do you think you would actually enjoy about being a parent?
Could you get a pet instead? You can have a lot of love from an animal and it’s a good way to show responsibility.

Speak to your mum about joining some groups or hobbies you would like to try and maybe show her this thread so she can explain some of the excellent advice people have given you. She might advise you to remove it because you have shared some personal information on here but I don’t think anyone else can say anything new now.

It sounds like your mum cares a lot about you and is very supportive and wants what is best for you. I’m sure she’s trying her best to help you to be as independent as possible and the mature thing would be to understand that and listen to the advice she gives you.

It doesn’t matter about any diagnosis or if a piece of paper says you are high or low functioning, what matters is living your life in a way that’s best for you and being proud of the things you have and can achieve rather then trying to change how you appear to other people.
I’m sure you will have a wonderful future no matter what it holds for you, if it means you need more support then other people then there is nothing wrong with that and you could see it as lucky that you have it and people who care looking out for you.

Please remember we are a loose collection of random people on the internet and are in no way qualified to be giving you advice or recommendations on the kind of support you need. You keep asking us for specifics, but none of us are qualified to advise you on specifics.

You need to ask your medical professionals where you live for help and recommendations, or ask trusted family members for help.

I live on the West Coast and even the groups and programs I could recommend may not exist on the East Coast where you are.

Hello again, I haven’t commented for a while, but I think you should perhaps show your Mum this thread so she can help you with working out what the next steps are for you now.

you have shared a lot of personal info here, which can make a person very vulnerable and I think it may be good for her to know.

you wouldn’t be the first women who thought that having a baby would make their lives better - that is shared with many women of all types, intelligence, neurotype. I work with some parents with learning disabilities and they generally require substantial intervention from social services with their parenting.

did you know the latest Turner Prize winner (a big art award) in the U.K. has significant learning disabilities. Your diagnosis won’t be able to describe other traits like how sporty or artistic you are, how kind you may be, for example. But it can help in understanding what you may find tricky or challenging.

Perhaps you could get a small pet, maybe that might be helpful. But do show your Mum this thread. Do you have groups you can attend for socialising? I think it is important to show her so she can help you with working out how you could perhaps be a little more independant.

Hey. It sounds like there’s been a lot of frustration on this post, both for you as the original poster and for people commenting on the post. You sound like such a lovely person. I wouldn’t worry too much about your test results as it sounds like you’re doing great in life. You’ve got a job, can cook and bake and are looking at living independently soon; that’s amazing!

I really don’t suggest having a baby right now, so I’d suggest keeping the iud in for now as you can get pregnant as soon as it’s out. Many people without autism aren’t ready for a baby at your age too, so it’s not an autism thing at all, it just sounds like you’re not quite ready for that just yet. I would try living independently for a significant amount of time first if I were you. Babies are hard work, as are toddlers, children and teenagers! Like REALLY hard work! I looked back through photos yesterday from when my youngest was a newborn. I looked like a zombie with my pasty white face and ridiculous dark rings round my eyes - even my kids were laughing. The sleep deprivation is SO hard.

My younger sister has autism, and unfortunately if she were to get pregnant she wouldn’t be deemed capable of keeping her baby due to her intellectual abilities and lack of independence. I’m not saying this would be the case for you as I obviously don’t personally know you, but I would make sure I was able to be deemed capable of bringing up a child before getting pregnant if I were you, so as not to cause some very serious potential trauma. Having said that, I think a neighbour of mine has autism and she’s got a child with her partner and they all seem very happy, although they do get a lot of support from her partner’s parents on a daily basis despite living independently from the parents.

Like I said previously, I wouldn’t worry about the test results, it sounds like you’re doing really great and as long as you’re enjoying life who cares about IQ scores? Happiness should be the ultimate test. There could be some truth in the results, especially as there seems to be some frustration and crossed wires between some of your comments and of the other poster’s comments, but that’s ok. IQ really isn’t the be all and end all of life and if you know about it then it’s something you can work on if you chose to.

I wish you all the best with living independently and I suggest working together with your Mum to make that happen - she could be able to give you some great support and advice 😊.

gosh this thread is a difficult read and really shows the reality of autism/adaptive functioning/ leaning needs and the social and emotional vulnerability

Wish our bloody UK govrn would read it to see why support for children young people and young adults is so bloody crucial and needs more funding, not less.

I truly wish you all the very best @Gymnastxo96 but I don’t think posting further is helpful for you. Please please engage with your mum and therapist.

My heart is full reading the supportive, detailed and thoughtful responses of numsnetters in their finest - the effort from the MN community to support a stranger like this is on the list of the kindness in this world…. 💓💓💓

Its because while you wont (or shouldnt) get a diagnosis with outdated terms today/going forward anyone with a past diagnosis of aspergers or high functioning autism wont get rediagnosed or their terms updated because you cant just relabel their condition with a new term that may be slightly different to the term it replaces. (I think because of wait lists and costs tbh) so it is appropriate for medical professionals to use those terms with people who carry that diagnosis.

It is not appropriate to diagnosis someone with it now