Many of those things are very valid - and were things we listed for my DD. We took the view that if she was only able to live a normal life when facilitated by family, then there was an impact that needed to be detailed. We pointed out that we are approaching retirement and would have less money to underwrite her life as an adult and would potentially, through aging/illness/dying, not be able to provide the support she needs and PIP would enable her to outsource these services.
So, for example when at home we buy shopping and clear up the chaos after she has cooked (often leave oven and burners on etc) but she is likely to be unsafe if living alone - so she copes in shared student accommodation (sort of) because a) she now rarely cooks and students would notice the burners/oven and switch them off (with bitching and resentment) and b) she has opted not to cook for 3 months living on bagels and custard donuts to avoid conflict and risk. As a result she is anaemic, and deficient in multiple vitamins needing a supplementation programme prescribed by GP (calcium, iron, vit D etc), oh and a tooth infection because she ran out of toothpaste, floss, mouthwash. Similarly, while she has us to ferry her around locally, she doesn’t need taxis, but at uni she also struggles with crowds so public transport at peak times is impossible for her. If she has lectures at 9am or after 4pm, she has to have a pre booked taxi/uber.
Similarly, she struggles with domestic hygiene (kitchen/bathrooms are dreadful). I actually hit a wall over needing to clean her room/ensuite and having to have her bathroom renovated within 4 years of installation because she has OCD and cannot cope with cleaning the loo, sink, shower (esp the drains, or mould build up). PIP has meant we can pay for a cleaner and we no longer have the conflict around this.
When you speak to them at your assessment address the fact that if your husband were not there to provide a safety net (lifts, safety, shopping, help with maintaining the home, underwriting the additional costs from his income) you would potentially be unable to fend for yourself without access to cars, easy to prepare microwavable food, online grocery deliveries, cleaners etc. It’s about being able to live and function ‘independently’ so you need to set out how your life would look like were you to find yourself alone
The things are all the type of thing they listen to.
Sorry long answer (I am also AuDHD 😬)