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Mumsnetters with disabilities

Please see our webguide of suggested organisations for parents to support children with learning difficulties.

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Original poster

My "friends" resent me for being disabled

55 replies

SavannahBlue · 19/09/2025 12:36

I know I need to find a new friendship group which isn't easy as someone with Autism and physical disabilities

We went away at the weekend and it was a disaster. They refused to tell me what they were doing and seemed to be ok with me wandering around alone in a strange country . I got moaned at for daring to ask what people were doing. I ended up doing virtually nothing which was such a waste of a weekend as it was a country I hadn't visited before

I've just received a lecture from one of the group because I asked for help. I mean they full well I'm disabled. Do they really think I'm going to be ok in a strange country by myself?

(I'm not actually after advice. They've made it clear they don't want to be friends which they could have made clear a few years ago)

OP posts:

Original poster

SavannahBlue · 20/09/2025 08:10

financialcareerstuff · 20/09/2025 01:58

I agree with that principle in general. And indeed I often think Mumsnet is far too quick to dismiss the protagonists who are not reporting the story as terrible. But really unless the OP is simply lying - and I don’t get the impression that is the case- she states everything very plainly…. How could this happen if decent people are involved? One person in a friend group on a group holiday is refused information, despite asking, about what the group is doing, meaning she has no choice but to be alone through what is meant to be a group holiday. This is bad enough. But on top they know that this person is partially sighted, therefore it is almost impossible for them to enjoy the place independently. Then when she asks for help she is told off. These are the facts.

I cannot see any interpretation of this which is excusable. Please tell me what it is if I am missing it.

even if they were not friends, if some individual somehow ended up in a group travel, who is partially sighted - eg on a package/group tour…. The obvious thing for any decent human to do is 1. Suggest she not be the one staying alone - this is blatantly inappropriate for someone in an unfamiliar place who is partially sighted. 2. Proactively make sure that any person , especially someone with support needs, is integrated into everything that is happening and feels included. 3. Listen and care if that person asks for help. 4. If some misunderstanding did happen- they would make an effort to reflect and correct, especially so if they know their friend has autism and may understandably have missed some social cues etc…..I would do all these things travelling with someone who was a stranger to me, never mind a friend.

I’m sorry but I think there is ablism going on here. Somehow we are searching for some way to put the responsibility on the OP, and/or we just think people with challenges don’t deserve to be around people who treat them well?

Exactly. Whilst I'm well aware there's going to be groups splitting from the main group I didn't expect to be left alone. I know there were people who did their own thing but that was their choice

We went away in February, decided on something to do (I couldn't do part of it but was ok with that )

I thought this board was meant to be supportive?

I'm obviously not going to divulge every detail as it's irrelevant and possibly outing.

OP posts:

ComfortFoodCafe · 20/09/2025 08:15

So your visually impaired & they left you? Yanbu in the slightest.
That said I think if I knew I was going to struggle and be in a completely different hotel I wouldnt of booked… but your friends are ablist CFs. You deserve friends who treat you well.

Surgz · 25/10/2025 11:43

Hmm not making much sense here. What help did you need in a new country. Did they know? Why did you agree to go.What were your expectations of them. Sorry but you really arnt giving much info here

gamerchick · 25/10/2025 11:52

Surgz · 25/10/2025 11:43

Hmm not making much sense here. What help did you need in a new country. Did they know? Why did you agree to go.What were your expectations of them. Sorry but you really arnt giving much info here

Is it so hard to extrapolate? The OP has trouble seeing anything and is ND. So navigating a strange country would probably be quite frightening. That's even without being stuck in a hotel on her own and then putting up with tellings off.

The fact that people want more info to see if there any crossed wires makes me think they just must be really shit friends who are happy to exclude someone.

Im sorry this happened OP. I'd probably give them the fade. Don't go away with people who don't have your back.

Surgz · 25/10/2025 12:47

gamerchick - actually the opposite- i cant imagine true friends behaving in such an extreme manner so feel there must have been some miscommunication on both sides. And missed any reference to partial sight on initial post.

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