My "friends" resent me for being disabled

[SavannahBlue]

I know I need to find a new friendship group which isn't easy as someone with Autism and physical disabilities

We went away at the weekend and it was a disaster. They refused to tell me what they were doing and seemed to be ok with me wandering around alone in a strange country . I got moaned at for daring to ask what people were doing. I ended up doing virtually nothing which was such a waste of a weekend as it was a country I hadn't visited before

I've just received a lecture from one of the group because I asked for help. I mean they full well I'm disabled. Do they really think I'm going to be ok in a strange country by myself?

(I'm not actually after advice. They've made it clear they don't want to be friends which they could have made clear a few years ago)

What sort of help were you asking them for?

What kind of help was you asking for?

You went away as a group but then they didn’t include you in the activities? How bizarre. Doesn’t sound like the resent you, more that they don’t like you. How can they be your friends?

Sorry that your trip didn’t go well and that you have had some disagreements with friends.

Some more information might be helpful. Why didn’t you know the rough plan and logistics for the trip before going? Was the issue that they arranged things to do, once there, and excluded you?

Were they not explaining plans to you it sounds like they just hoped you would tag along , surely they know you well enough to help you out are they new friends?

I feel like they'd have a different version of events but it doesnt matter really...ultimately it looks like the friendship is over 💔

Why would they invite you in a trip but then go off and do their own thing and exclude you? That’s pretty mean, why didn’t they just not invite you if they planned to leave you alone.

What sort of help was you asking for?

I agree with this

We've known each other for at least 3 years some longer

Can you clarify what kind of help you were requesting?

Maybe they didn't realise you weren't.managing to well ?

what do you mean "refused to tell you what they were doing"? That's a very weird thing and makes no sense if you were on a trip together - weren't you all doing things together?

And what help were you asking for?

It doesn't sound like these are good friends and it doesn't sound like you like them either.

Surely when you went on the trip there were plans or an itinerary or some sort of discussion beforehand about what you might be doing?
I dont understand how you went on a holiday with 0 clue what was going to happen?
Also what help were you expecting, maybe your friends werent aware you needed so much help.

I'm struggling to understand this whole scenario. Why didn't you already know the plan? What help did you need? It's very difficult to know if they were unreasonable without more details.

what help did you ask for though?

They may have wanted the extra person to help split and lower costs of accommodation, but not prepared to actually make an effort for her.

It sounds like she went on holiday as a group expecting to have fun as a group and they basically “othered” her and left her out.

Why didn’t you know what was going on and what help did you ask for? It’s hard to know how to reply without enough info

@SavannahBlue I'm sorry you had such a shitty time, but this sounds like a massive case of crossed wires.

They simply wouldn't have invited you if they had a problem with you being there, no? Is there any chance you can give a more detailed account of what happened, like what help were you requesting? How did you not know anything? It's a little confusing.

Is that really likely, though? A whole group of three-year-long friends deciding to have OP come to split costs and then ignore her all weekend?

Why didn’t you just do what they were doing, instead of wandering around the countryside alone?
They surely didn’t sneak out the back door when your back was turned?

I mean obviously I don't know, but i would have thought her friends would know her limitations and not just want her there to cut costs,

The op sounds miserable and had a stressful time.

Agree, so you didn't see them at meal times? They just got up and left you alone in the hotel?
Remember a similar thread and it boiled down to the OP only wanting to eat specific beige goods so refused to go to local restaurants, wouldn't walk anywhere/go to beach/go to bar/out dancing and thought everyone from the group should take a turn with doing only what she wanted.

That sounds incredibly hurtful OP, its a shame you had to waste a weekend but at least you know these people are not your friends.

It's shit OP when you think you're liked and then you find out that you're not. What did you want them to do for you? Just include you?