Neurodiversity thread - for all MNetters who are neurodiverse - ASD, ADHD, Dyspraxia and more.

[FaithAscending]

Welcome one and all to the new thread. A safe haven for MNetters who identify as neurodiverse, diagnosis or not, and those waiting for assessment. Links available in recent threads. Newbies welcome. We just ask that you introduce yourself

Yours do look a little pink and sore, BDH :( unless that's just the lighting. Mine are sallow Also suffering the dry skin a bit here, tho mine is worst on the cuticles. Damn you, winter ❄

That's great Crohn!

Good luck Polter!

I think there IS a bit of an issue on some of the FB groups with groups which were intended for autistic people turning into forums where parents of autistic children go to complain. And yes, I get that they need to vent as much as we do, but they tend to talk over autistic adults' contributions. I left one group where it was NT mums all wringing their hands over their daughters not wanting to (of all things) go out to the cinema or McDonalds or have boyfriends - I and another couple of autistic women said we'd been quite happy without those things and it wasn't really something to lament if they didn't want to do it. We were just dismissively told we were too high functioning to have opinions and they went back to talking about how to force their daughters to participate in things that as far as I could see, their daughters had no interest in!! I've seen the same problem on here. So I do get why people on autism groups jump down the throats of people they suspect of doing that.

Also, the NAS 'autistic christmas' adverts are awful and feed into the whole "autistic children are a burden, woe is us" narrative, which goes from to to quite quickly.

Yes, I shared a photograph of the last page of the booklet I got through the post on Facebook, assuming that "Rosie", pretending to be able to cope, was an autistic woman. But there weren't any autistic people's voices in there at all - yes, support for families is very important but I feel that maybe the reason autistic adults can be defensive and exclusionary is that they've only recently been able to join the conversation, and find themselves drowned out sometimes. But we shouldn't go on parent forums to berate people.

Also, that booklet seemed to be a bit "how can we force autistic children to enjoy Christmas the way we think they should be enjoying it?"

That's lovely Crohn

Polter, hope everything's going according to plan. I have my fingers crossed but no picture as it would look more like crossed sausages

Laura, that's the part I understand, I have very little desire to be social, and I don't like that this is seen as faulty, or I should make an effort, and that if be happier if I made myself more social (no I wouldn't, bugger off!).

What's got to me is the screen shots shared of posts where parents are genuinely trying their best, but their needs are completely shit on by some autistic posters - "you're tired? Boohoo, not interested" kind of thing, painting all parents as abusive, when there's no evidence of it.

cloud that first bit kind of sums up my experience of CBT.

Before diagnosis:
Me- there's a party on Saturday but I don't think I want to go.
Therapist- why don't you want to go to the party? You're anxious you might do or say the wrong thing? Let's make a chart of all the possible outcomes and decide which is most likely and rate your anxiety on a scale of 1-10...

After diagnosis:
Me- there's a party on Saturday but I don't think I want to go.
Therapist- oh, OK.

Yes I agree about the NAS Christmas campaign, really shitty.
None of it from an ASD point of view, which would have done a much better job of educating and making autistic lives better.

I had someone telling me about the locked in campaign that tesco did (I think it was tesco?). Telling me that ASD was exactly like being locked in, so how brilliant it was that they were helping people to understand.
I don't feel locked in at all, I'm often confused and frustrated at being held up by normal sociable standards and the assumption that I'm missing out.

I haven't seen the NAS Christmas campaign at all. Are these adverts on the TV?

I'm getting more and more anxious about DS2's SALT assessment tomorrow. So far, I've found general HCPs are very dismissive (GPs, HVs etc.) but specialists have been really good but that was all with DS1 and we've moved since then so I'm just worried the SALT will say, 'No, of course he's not autistic,' and that will be that.

I've seen it on FB BDH.
This is a screenshot of the website, which strikes me as not about the child's enjoyment, but about the parent's need to see the child apparently enjoying Christmas. I do understand that, but surely that proves why there's a need to educate the parents to understand their DC a little better.

I see. It's a tough one because I think I'd be pretty gutted if my boys were so overloaded by Christmas that we weren't able to celebrate it. But, I'm not sure whether that's my own autism and the fact I desperately need to follow all the same traditions every Christmas that we had when I was a child??

Then, I start to think there's a good chance a lot of parents of autistic kids who think they're NT actually aren't (in the same way I thought I was a NT parent of ASD kids until I realised I wasn't) and maybe they're upset over their kids' lack of interest in Christmas because of their autism...

I mean, obviously if my kids couldn't handle decorations and presents etc. then we wouldn't do it. I think I'm lucky they're both hugely enthusiastic about Christmas (even if it is also rather overloading for them and me and DH at the same time).

I don't even know what I'm trying to say, really...

Great news CrohnicallyPregnant!

I have everything crossed for you too Polter.

Something I have noticed in the last day or two is there are loads of websites about people with aspergers abusing their partners but nothing about the other way around and yet people with aspergers are surely more likely to be bullied. Websites like Heartless aspergers etc made me abit upset as i dont know anyone with aspergers that is heartless.

Wow. Never seen that site before. Feel horrible

Wouldn't recommend googling it - I should've listened to you when you said it upset you, rural!

Oh Polter
Is there a chance of a follow up letter at all?
Interviews don't suit a lot of people, hopefully they understand that

polter

Please try not to worry.

If it were me, I'd wait until tomorrow, then construct an email thanking them for the interview and the opportunity they gave you to discuss the position, and maybe with an elaboration of your answer to the question you didn't feel you answered to your satisfaction. I don't know whether that would be appropriate at all. But for now, nothing - chocolate, tea, bath, scream at the wall, whatever you think will help. And remember you might not have come across how you think you came across

(I'm suddenly aware that "try not to worry" is a pointless and annoying thing to say! try to do nice relaxing and distracting things for yourself )

Polter

Remember all their candidates will have had to go through this and not a single one will have been perfect. Every single interviewee will be reflecting on things they wish they had answered differently.

And I wouldn't worry about crying - they know you are autistic - they know the interview situation is difficult. If they don't take it into account, they are arseholes. You showed your passion and how much you cared. That will have been a very positive aspect of your interview.

Oh Polter! That sounds so stressful! I hope they understand why you were upset.

I've been quiet because I've been on nights. The first night was ok, I was moved but to a ward I was familiar with and since I was moved I wasn't in charge. Last night I was on the new ward. It was awful! Short staffed, nothing is labelled, no logical order to where stuff is. I was the senior nurse so in charge. I broke down in the clinical room because I was so stressed. I was 20 minutes late finishing because I was checking I'd written everything/signed everything. I have slept since though which is good.

Crohn such wonderful news. Congratulations

Polter interviews are horrendous. Don't be too hard on yourself

(((((Hugs))))) for polter faith and anyone else that needs them!