Neurodiversity support thread for women with diagnosed, self diagnosed or suspected ADHD and ASC

[BertieBotts]

Continuing the good work of the lovely EauRouge :) Our first thread in the shiny new section. Seems like they created it just in time for us to fill up the old one

Link to the previous thread

This is a support thread for any posters who feel that they might be (or know that they are) on the Autistic spectrum or have ADHD. Feel free to jump in! Some of us are diagnosed, some not, some trying to work out what it's all about. Women with these kinds of issues often present differently to men and as such, can go undiagnosed for a long time. Hopefully, we can help each other understand ourselves and be there for support along the way too.

Links

List of female AS traits by Tania Marshall

AS traits in women and girls by Everyday Aspergers

Musings of an Aspie - Cynthia Kim's blog (Noted as being one of the only sources of information about being a parent with Aspergers)

Autistic Women's Collective

Women with ADHD by ADDitude magazine - this is a really good website in general (though it really needs a redesign). Lots of good, well researched info on ADHD and especially ADHD in women and girls. Do follow the links to other articles. They also have a closed facebook group which is good for info (FB is down so can't put the link up.)

Books
Aspergirls by Rudy Simone

You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid Or Crazy?!: A Self-help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder by Kate Kelly. (This is available as a PDF somewhere online but I can't find it now - sorry!)

Speakers

This is a new one but it's something I've found really helpful so I hope nobody minds me adding it. I won't link directly to videos because they show up in the thread, but worth searching youtube/Ted/google:

Russell Barkley: Clinical Psychologist who specialises in the subject area of ADHD. He explains it better than anybody else I have come across and has practical solutions to support life with it. He is VERY long-winded, but his talks are packed with info. Highly recommend.

Ned Hallowell: Another psychologist who actually lives with ADHD himself and has interesting insights. Author of the book "The ADHD effect on marriage". He is a little bit cheesy but worth a watch.

Sorry I only have ADHD links to put here but if anybody knows a good ASC speaker, feel free to add!

Online quizzes

Of course no online quiz is sufficient for diagnosis, but can be a useful signposting tool and a starting point for discussion with your GP.

RDOS Aspergers test

AQ test

Adult ADHD screening test

Symptom checklist of ADHD in women

I got IDed in M&S when I was with DS (he was in a pushchair) - I was 32 at the time FFS! I recall getting really tearful at the prospect. Some people think that it's great, but me, hey, not such a fan.

Bizarrely my newest blog post is about not being able to cope with housework etc: faspie.blogspot.co.uk/

I'm not getting commission btw, writing for me is just a great way to work through my feelings.

I'm a freak

Oh bugger rivier you had to bring up MS- there's a good chance (50:50 or thereabouts) that I am in the early stages of MS. Maybe it's not AS causing this after all?

Oh, I'm sorry Chron

nickelbabe It wasn't my GP, it was a doctor from the mental health team who was such a douche. I'm in the mental health system because of repeated uncontrollable self-harm, suicide attempts, an inability to control my emotions, black and white thinking, taking things literally, unhealthy relationships, anxiety, and depression.

I'm not saying she was right (at all, she made me feel like shit), but I can understand why you'd think BPD with all of that.

The guy who diagnosed me said that the vast majority of the women he's diagnosed have a previous misdiagnosis of BPD.

That's interesting Gumblebee, I think I'll bring that up in my next appointment.

Heard from my gp this morning that I have low iron levels, which explains why I've been feeling exhausted and rough for ages!
Trouble is anxiety has kicked in about why, trying to convince myself that it's all ok.

I disgraced myself in morrison's today, a lady pushing a toddler in a trolley said "let's get....." Whilst leaning across to get some milk.
I said "ready to rumble" without even thinking, quietly, but she still heard and gave me a funny look . Convincing myself this is an ASD thing rather than a tosser thing!

Is this the boss you showed your report to?
Hopefully she'll give you some helpful feedback.

When I worked I couldn't lead a team at all as I became a pompous arse. I was better keeping my head down and getting on with monotonous jobs!

lechien pretty sure it's ASD related not tosser related. And I'm not just saying that- I think it's a form of delayed echolalia. I know one child with quite severe autism, he has little functional language but loves Toy Story, so if you start a quote from one of the films he will finish it for you.

And on that note, will someone please, please explain to this really annoying carer that if you say 'one, two' to an autistic child and they respond with 'three, four, five' that does NOT mean they can count!!

Likewise if you ask them a question such as 'is it night time or day time?' and they respond 'day time' that does NOT mean they have understood and answered the question. They are repeating what you say! Try asking 'is it day time or night time?' and then see what response you get.

Finally, will someone please explain to aforementioned carer that she really has no need to try and explain autism to me (today's gem was: it's a brain difference, you know)

I've messed up. I posted on a thread in the main bit of here, and I just completely fucked up what I was trying to say. Everyone now hates me/thinks I'm a bad parent/child abuser etc.

Hug I've been to have a look too and agree with Polter.
You definitely haven't fucked up.
AIBU is known for being forceful, no-one thinks about the person behind the words.

Thank you. I shouldn't have said anything, I'm not strong enough right now.

Ha! I love to wade in with all guns blazing in aibu.

The problem with the asd is that one mimics other people, and if you see someone being forthright,, then that's how you'll act too.
It's quite a cool trait to have sometimes, but of course, we never know when it's appropriate and not so

Feeling very sorry for myself.
Phoned the gp to see if I could have the second blood test sooner, but can't because it's to compare iron levels (which is obvious when you think about it), so I have to carry on feeling like shit for the next two weeks.
Sorry, I know this isn't remotely ASD related.

Thank you for the information about GPs - a friend is experiencing trouble with her GP refusing to refer her for ADHD assessment (which I understand is a less accepted condition than ASD in adults currently in the UK) I didn't realise they weren't allowed to refuse. I think they said that the other problem is there is only one centre and it's in London - which is ridiculous!

I've just seen this - ignore the clickbait title - it's an app to help bystanders help somebody going through a meltdown or other medical emergency where you can't speak. Might be helpful? www.upworthy.com/no-one-knew-how-to-help-him-during-a-panic-attack-so-this-autistic-man-made-an-app-to-tell-them?c=ufb3

I'm not good Polter, but thank you for asking.

Oh no Hug I didn't see your thread but hope you're alright.

I had, what can only be described as, a meltdown this evening. Tears, hyperventilating, rocking, followed by exhaustion and staring into space.

Aspie DS1 got out of bed to see what was wrong with me. That'd put me in the child abuse category according to most of mumsnet.

I also didn't have it in me to cook dinner, so they had cereal. I'm so shit at life right now, the boys mean everything to me, but maybe I'm just not cut out for this.