Neurodiversity support thread: Women with suspected/self-diagnosed/diagnosed ASC & ADHD

[EauRouge]

No sign of our own forum yet, so for now here's a new support thread for women on the autistic spectrum and/or with ADHD. Newbies more than welcome!

The old thread is here.

Here are some helpful links for newbies:

List of female AS traits by Tania Marshall.

List of female traits by Everyday Aspergers

Musings of an Aspie- Cynthia Kim's blog (one of the few sources I have found about being a parent with Aspergers)

Autistic Women's Collective

Recognising ADHD in women from ADDitude Magazine

Resources for women with ADHD from ADDitude Magazine

Adult ADHD support (coming soon by the looks of things)

Books

Aspergirls by Rudy Simone

You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!: The Classic Self-help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder by Kate Kelly (I haven't read this one but I have heard it recommended many times- apologies if it's no good!)

I took off Tony Attwood because it was about people with autism rather than for people with autism. Anyone else got any book recommendations?

Online tests

(Online tests are not 100% certain but can give you a very good idea and a starting point for talking to your GP if you're seeking diagnosis)

RDOS Aspergers quiz (the best one IMO)

AQ test

ADHD test

ADHD questionnaire for women

If any of those don't work, it's because I'm cooking the DDs' dinner and I'm shit at multitasking. What's that burning smell?

Yes I have buggered off on holiday, checking in every now and again but haven't got as much time to spend as usual!

I'm around, but household is pox-ridden

I am about but had to have a beloved pet put to sleep today so am in mourning and feeling very very quiet.

I'm here! Waves but feeling very low atm. I got a letter through on Saturday about an initial assessment with a different talking therapy service. I don't know if this is the extent of my referral to the CMHT, or whether they'll signpost me elsewhere. I discovered that we have an adult autism assessment service in my county that you can self-refer to. I may do that aswell and see who gets to me fastest!

Allofaflumble :( and Must be hard. And there's me on another thread contemplating rehoming our dog! :(

CrabbyTheCrabster Thank you so so much for sharing your journey with us! Well done for being so assertive to that trainee GP! ;) I know what you mean about the 8000 words tho. My GP gave me two very short questionnaires to do for anxiety and adhd and I went back to her with 4 more in depth questionnaires for other things plus some history and background as well as why I scored so high for depression and my general wellbeing! All of which she photocopied along with my referral!

nickelbabe I think you're onto something. I may commit to vegetarianism to make eating out easier choice-wise! :') Seriously though, I have gone off SO many foods recently... eggs, bread, meat, cheese and the smell of meat being cooked/reheated. Making me gag just thinking about it, bleeurgh sorry for tmi!

Does anyone else go through phases of eating something ALOT and then going off it and finding something else to eat? I do this. And I've been noticing it more and actually acknowledging it openly, for example, to DH when he says 'bacon bites again?' and I say 'yes, it'll only be for a few more days probably and then I'll be on to the next thing I can't stop eating'. It's never healthy food. Except for red grapes sometimes. Right now, it's sweet popcorn. It worries me. I'm not fat. But I don't exercise bar a fair amount of walking and living upstairs! I don't know if this is an OCD thing or a kind of eating disorder? I genuinely crave the food and will eat it incessantly for a few weeks and then suddenly can't eat it anymore and won't go near it for a very long time. Weird.

Flumble I'm so sorry

Thanks everyone. X

Thinking of you Flumble

I've been off the radar recently, not posting much. Have tried to keep up. I'm finally back at work but searching for something new.

mjmooseface yes I do that with food phases. Particularly breakfast, I'll have the same thing for weeks in a row then suddenly switch.

It's been a year since I asked for my referral. Sent off the questionnaire in April. May have to chase soon if I can find the courage

Seems like everyone is in AsperAsperland?

I get the crazes for eating the same thing.
A recent one was these little biscuits you have with coffee. Maybe called Biscoff?

Anyway I discovered them in Poundland and ate loads of them to the point of feeling sick. Day after day. Now I feel repulsed by them! Can't bear the thought of them even.

Hope you all come back soon.

I'm finding life very weird now.

I'm very busy and not able to work out a proper schedule, which is stressing me.
Then I'm worrying about getting things done.

But then I'm having to force myself to stop work at a certain time (and then finding lots of things I haven't done yet)
And I can't sleep.
It's weird, because I thought my "self-diagnosis" hadn't changed anything, but since I had my meeting confirming I have a case, everything has changed.
Like it all makes sense and everythi g has fallen into place.

Like, normally, I'm running round doing stuff then suddenly finding that I'm irritable and grumpy. Whereas now, I'm sensing that I'm feeling weird or a bit overwhelmed, so I can take myself away.
That's really helpful - I know why I feel odd and I know that I can diffuse it.
Hopefully it's the end of (or huge reduction in!) That feeling of complete and utter helplessness and not being able to cope.

I'msure I'm just being hyper aware of it at the moment, but it's nice to be able to think "it's not that you're useless or that no one likes you"

I agree Nickel. Its good to be able to give yourself a break and know it is the Asoerger's causing these feelings.

Now I know why I go to say something and cannot find the words to say.

Still here, house-bound with second pox-y (as opposed to poxy ) child.

I've ordered the complete guide to aspergers by tony attwood to have a read of and make some notes

I know what you mean Nickel.
I never mentioned that noises bothered me before, obviously dh and dc know that I hate music in the house, and if they play it I will get irritable and cross, but things like putting plates and cutlery away, I have always adjusted how I do it according to how sensitive my ears are, but never said anything. When at the cathedral listening to dd sing, certain organ playing makes me feel like it's echoing through my head and I can't actually hear the notes, but I've always put up with it and braced myself against it. I've always had this but assumed that it was like this for everyone and never mentioned it, just found ways to avoid it or deal with it.
Now I'm being more open, but worried that I'm coming across as attention seeking.
I've ordered myself some ear plugs, and I've ordered a fiddle toy for me, so I don't have to nick ds's!

I went to my gp to ask about stress levels as I'm finding things very difficult at the moment, and having lots of physical symptoms. She's referred me for formal assessment as she doesn't feel traditional methods (counselling) would be appropriate without knowing for sure if I am AS or not.
I struggled to get across how bad I'm feeling, and I rarely cry, which means people think I'm ok. I nearly cried when talking about DH's stroke, but she doesn't think I have PTSD as I only relive it when triggered to think about it, it's not intrusive. The memories happen in the same way as others, but obviously the subject matter is more distressing.

Beyond, you have my sympathies! Do you have any other children yet to catch it?
I remember one summer when my 3 (dc4 was yet to be) caught hand, foot and mouth one after the other. It felt like we were stuck in for weeks!

Hi all.

I've just found out I've been turned down for the NHS psychotherapy I was referred for, without them even seeing me for an assessment, because of my ASD diagnosis. Has anyone else found that doors have closed for them after diagnosis? I had hoped (and used this reason to obtain the referral) that working out whether or not I was autistic would be useful for the mental health services so they could help me more effectively, but that doesn't seem to be what's happened

Sorry, that was ambiguous. I mean that I used that reason (better information for mental health workers) to obtain the referral to the ASD diagnostic service, not the referral to psychotherapy.

I've heard that, but it seems discriminatory to refuse to even consider autistic people.

I know what you mean gumble, i have have had failed cbt and hoped that a diagnosis would help my professionals tailor their help, not just flat out refuse to offer it based on it

LeChien, luckily only two children, and me and dh have had the pox already. I think we're on the last day of being contagious now, we're getting a little cabin fever!

It's a good point Polt - there isn't anything out there for us specifically when we fall between the various categories.

The mental health service psychologist who spent many hours assessing me referred me for the psychotherapy, on the basis that I both need and would benefit from longer-term individual talking therapy, and the psychiatrist agreed. Now that my difficulties have been framed as being part of or at least complicated by ASD, suddenly I don't need or merit any help with them, and although the treatment I was assured (by the psychologist and the psychiatrist) was the best thing for me is now not available, there's nothing else.

As you say Polt, there needs to be appropriate therapy offered. I can't believe people with physical conditions are told they must go without treatment altogether because their case is too difficult or complex for their local services.

Beyond, exactly that, knowing when someone has conditions that complicate treatment should not be used to deny treatment altogether, because it comes across like they are saying that there is no treatment that works for mental health problems in people with ASD.

My current food obsession is watermelon

Mine is green smoothies. Which is handy when needing to lose weight

That sucks Gumble. I would definitely be pushing to find out what alternative they'll be offering.

My food obsession is boiled eggs for breakfast :)

That sounds horrible Gumble. How ridiculous to just give up suddenly because of a diagnosis.

I'm lurking on this thread and it's really making me wonder if I do belong here. I'm not sure. Someone once suggested I might.

Thanks for the supportive messages all

rivier, what is it about lurking here that's making you wonder?