Neurodiversity support thread: Women with suspected/self-diagnosed/diagnosed ASC & ADHD

[EauRouge]

No sign of our own forum yet, so for now here's a new support thread for women on the autistic spectrum and/or with ADHD. Newbies more than welcome!

The old thread is here.

Here are some helpful links for newbies:

List of female AS traits by Tania Marshall.

List of female traits by Everyday Aspergers

Musings of an Aspie- Cynthia Kim's blog (one of the few sources I have found about being a parent with Aspergers)

Autistic Women's Collective

Recognising ADHD in women from ADDitude Magazine

Resources for women with ADHD from ADDitude Magazine

Adult ADHD support (coming soon by the looks of things)

Books

Aspergirls by Rudy Simone

You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!: The Classic Self-help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder by Kate Kelly (I haven't read this one but I have heard it recommended many times- apologies if it's no good!)

I took off Tony Attwood because it was about people with autism rather than for people with autism. Anyone else got any book recommendations?

Online tests

(Online tests are not 100% certain but can give you a very good idea and a starting point for talking to your GP if you're seeking diagnosis)

RDOS Aspergers quiz (the best one IMO)

AQ test

ADHD test

ADHD questionnaire for women

If any of those don't work, it's because I'm cooking the DDs' dinner and I'm shit at multitasking. What's that burning smell?

If anyone's on FB there's a very good page called The Jigsaw Tree, they're sharing some brilliant articles at the moment.
(I'm nothing to do with it btw, just finding it useful!)

Things are shit here at the moment. Ds is off the scale, had to restrain him again today, dd is worried the family will split up, really not sure what to do, but things are really awful :(

Chien I still remember how tough the school holidays are. They feel relentless Dont they?

When my son was a child, he never wanted to do any of the clubs. I felt he was round me 24/7!

I was a lone parent and the first time I had a break was when he was six and my sister had him for a few days.

I lived in London at the time and there was so much put on for kids, holiday clubs etc but after the first day, he refused to go but then expected me to entertain him. Aaaargh.

Hi everyone. Have found this thread through Bertie mentioning it on the procrastinator thread. Will read through whole thread when I have time.

I was diagnosed with ASD (he said it would have been AS but they don't diagnose that any more) in February this year. My DD (12) has AS.

Yes we find the holidays & the lack of routine a real strain.

Thanks lechien, i've liked it, their posts look very interesting. Especially the one about depression and asd - the bit about special interests not having their same effect was very useful (i'll be saving a copy of that!)

Urgh, summer holidays are tough. I swear all ds1 has done is cry for 90% of the holiday so far! And he is the less tempremental of the two!!

Sorry, I think I forget that others go through this and worse!
I'm trying so hard to get it right, but not managing at all, he's so bloody angry and violent all the time!
Can't wait for school to start again.

Chien maybe just let yourself cope with it all, for the time being. You can try getting it right another day.

Thank you

I've had a chat with him and going to start yet another a thread in SN children.
Sorry to have diverted the thread.

Welcome CrabbyTheCrabster! How did you find the diagnostic process for ASD? (I'm hopefully on my way to one soon so looking for some information and advice from someone who's been through a process already! :))

And if it's not too personal to ask, what led you to getting a diagnosis? I'm just curious as some people choose not to, whilst others do!

I know you didn't ask me mj but I thought I'd add my experiences.

My assessment was with someone described as an autism specialist practitioner. I was emailed rather than posted some forms for me to fill in (and one for my mum) as I was called in on very short notice on a cancellation, then spent the first half of the three-hour assessment describing my extensive psychiatric history I went with DP and wasn't expecting him to be involved at all but the guy I saw asked if it was okay to have DP in towards the end for a while, which I went along with. I filled in a couple more forms (which I then offered to score, as I had with the ones I'd done at home after furtling around inline fie the scoring key ), as did DP, and we both answered some questions about me and my failings differences.

Then I waited for five weeks until the report came through the post, convincing myself that the report would say I didn't meet the criteria - it would've normally only taken a couple of weeks, apparently, but there were delays. The report had to be sent to the psychiatrist in charge of adult autism assessment for my county to be checked over and signed by him.

I guess I've wondered if I had Asperger's for about fifteen years, but though it was raised then briefly by one nurse it was never referred to again by mental health services. In recent years since there's been more attention paid to female presentations in particular and ASD in general in the media I guess I realised that for my future mental health, my education plans, and my own peace of mind, I needed to find out one way or the other, so I went to the GP and they referred me.

Now I have a diagnosis I'm not entirely sure it's right and I'm scared of what it means but I think it might be part of the beginning of a new chapter in my life. I'm worried about what it means about me though and feeling quite sad and uncertain sometimes, but also reading a lot of stuff and seeing myself and my experiences reflected in those of others on the spectrum in a way that's quite exciting for me.

^online for

Feel like shit, had a meltdown today and spoiled a family day out. To cut a long story short, the family member I've been having trouble with (lying to me) it's just come out that there were other lies. DH wasn't there and I ran off and hid and when DH found me he made things worse and I hit my head on the wall and some people came to see if I was ok DH took me to the car and I sat and sobbed and DD sobbed too I just feel so awful because we were having such a lovely day and I went and spoiled it all

You really didn't spoil the day Chron. Something tipped you over the edge and you had a reaction. You are only human and on top of that you have aspergers to deal with.

Try not to dwell on it too much and get some rest. I wish there was a cosy fleece icon!

Crohn I'm sorry you felt like that today, hope you're feeling better now

I nearly lost it today after a catalogue of crap. Another violent meltdown from ds, badly bruised arm, dd demanding to go into town whilst I was restraining poor ds, buying a phone top-up voucher and accidentally getting the wrong thing. Ended up crying in front of the dc which they hate.

Polter, thanks for your advice on the other thread, very helpful once again

Feeling a bit better after a good night's sleep thanks. But I think DH has about had enough, apparently someone threatened to call the police on him because they thought he was hitting me, he tried to explain I have Asperger's. The woman tried to speak to me but I didn't respond, I don't know how he persuaded her to go away! I can see how it looked though- loud banging noises, she came outside to see what it was to find me huddled in a corner crying with my arms up over my head and my huge DH standing there!

That's a good idea polter not just for meltdowns but I guess in any sort of emergency situation (eg if I was hurt) it would be good to alert people.

Chien Aspergers or not, your ds needs to see the consequences of his behaviour and you are hurting. So cry.

I met the most fabulous woman the other day. She is a counsellor and as I am going to be working for her, I told her about my Aspe within.

She was so interested and had just bought books about women with aspergers. I got so excited I'm sure I was monologuing but I hope she understood?

I have the house to myself this week so much solitude on the agenda.

Ps. I've just bought myself a medical bracelet off EBay. It says aspergers syndrome on it. Not too twee.

Crabby there seems to be a difference of opinion re ASD/Aspergers. I thought it still stood as a diagnosis in this country .

My diagnosis in July was Aspergers and that was through NAS.

Aspergers has been included into ASD in the newest DSM, which is used in america. In the UK though, we use the WHO's criteria (cant remember what it is called) which still includes aspergers as a seperate diagnosis.

So the large % of american internet users make it seem that ASD is the 'new' diagnosis of aspergers, when it shouldnt be in the Uk. I think

From aspergers info on the nhs site...

"Psychiatrists in the UK tend to use the World Health Organisation’s International Classification of Diseases (ICD) system to diagnose mental health conditions, rather than DSM, which is used in the US."