Support thread for women with suspected/diagnosed/self-diagnosed ASD or ADHD

[EauRouge]

Previous thread here.

Hello all, I know I'm new but the old thread was full, so here's a shiny new one. This is a thread for adult women who have ASD or ADHD, or suspect they do, to support each other.

Here are some resources that might be useful:

Links

List of female AS traits by Tania Marshall.

Article about women and girls on the spectrum by NAS.

List of female traits by Everyday Aspergers

Musings of an Aspie- Cynthia Kim's blog (one of the few sources I have found about being a parent with Aspergers)

Autistic Women's Collective

Recognising ADHD in women from ADDitude Magazine

Resources for women with ADHD from ADDitude Magazine

Adult ADHD support (coming soon by the looks of things)

Books

Aspergirls by Rudy Simone

The Complete Guide to Aspergers Syndrome by Tony Attwood

You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!: The Classic Self-help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder by Kate Kelly (I haven't read this one but I have heard it recommended many times- apologies if it's no good!)

Online tests

(Online tests are not 100% certain but can give you a very good idea and a starting point for talking to your GP if you're seeking diagnosis)

RDOS Aspergers quiz (the best one IMO)

AQ test

ADHD test

ADHD questionnaire for women

Info dump complete

Please come and join in!

Glad it's not just me. The number of people that have suggested going for a massage to de-stress. Hell no!

Hi All

I had a job to track down this thread. I shared on here last year about my suspicions of having AS which really came to light because of the trouble my ds was experiencing.

Well I was staggered to find that this thing I had felt all my life had a name and that it was Asperger Syndrome. I know all about it being called HFA these days but the lady who diagnosed me said she believed that Asperger was still a separate thing.

Anyways, I have started to write a blog about my feelings and experiences and would love if someone would have a look and see if anything that I feel resonates with them. I am " The Old Aspergian" - you can find it through Google. I am 60 now and just coming to terms with the kaleidoscope that has been my exsistence. Sometimes it all feels so terribly self indulgent to be writing about it all, but there doesn't seem to be any other way out of it for me.

It is a lonely life. I don't have a partner and don't think I could cope with one anymore. I have tried to be "normal" but it doesn't seem to last!!

I was told that it's now officially 'autism of the Aspergers type', coming under the ASD heading. I didn't realise that the UK didn't use DSM5.

I've had a mixed day. Went to a dog show to meet a few breeders and chat about getting a puppy later on in the year. We met loads of lovely dogs and the people were nice, so I felt pretty good after that.

Then I went shopping and that was bloody awful. I hate shopping. Why are shops laid out so badly? There's no logic. Why are all the same things not in one place? I hate wandering around for ages trying to find what I need. I just gave up in the end.

Anyway, I've been having a read of your blog, flumble. I can definitely relate to your post about discovering Aspergers. I've heard a lot of people call it the 'lightbulb moment'.

TheFirst, that sounds like you respond to Deep Pressure. You might find a weighted blanket comforting. I sleep with two duvets because the extra pressure is helpful for helping me stay asleep at night.

BertieBotts that makes sense. I cannot sleep unless there are covers over me, even in a heatwave. Sometimes I can only get to sleep if I imagine I have been rolled inside a rug.

Thanks for reading Eau Rouge. One thing that strikes me about Asperger type Autism is just how the people who have it all seem to be so articulate in their writing if that makes sense.

They appear to be very switched on and intelligent.

I make a hell of a lot more sense in writing than I do in person

I think higher intelligence is pretty common in aspies. Sadly in my case it doesn't translate very well to the real world; I'm not stupid but because of my executive function problems I end up looking scatty and ditzy. It's also meant that my academic achievements were not what they could have been and my career... well, that never really started and it's unlikely that it ever will. But I've come to terms with that. Sort of.

I need covers to sleep too. As a small child I would often 'mummify' myself in my duvet, or pretend I was a caterpillar in a cocoon. Now I sleep on my front, because that gives me the pressure sensation on my chest, and that way I only need a light duvet over me.

I'm also of above average intelligence, and express myself far better in writing than verbally. When I'm talking, I often have to 'buffer' information, something I hadn't really noticed till the psych pointed it out, as evidence for an AS diagnosis.

Has anybody gone through a NHS diagnostic process as an adult, where the early developmental history isn't available (deceased parents)? Were you still able to get a diagnosis?

I'm going through it now. The psych was mainly interested in my memories of being a teen, and only asked a few questions about childhood (such as whether I tantrummed a lot). The diagnostic questionnaires he gave me were mostly concerned with how I felt and acted now.

Thank you so much Polter. X

I had a pretty rough time with the NHS so gave up before I even got to see a psychiatrist. If the psych was anything like the other people I'd seen then it may have finished me off anyway! Ironically there is a specialist centre for adults with autism about 20 miles from me but it's under a different hospital trust or whatever they have now.

Every area is different so it's worth trying for a diagnosis, but if you have no luck then there are charities that can help, or private psychiatrists if you can afford the bill. I would contact the NAS to see if they have a list of approved psychiatrists that specialise in adult autism.

Here is some info from the NAS on how to get a diagnosis as an adult and here are the NICE guidelines on assessing adults for autism . I would print out some stuff to take to your GP because the chances of your GP having any knowledge of adult autism or the process of assessing them is pretty slim.

I am toying with the idea of formal diagnosis, although I have been assured by a Proff that I know quite well that it would be perfectly acceptable for me to self diagnose bit that doesnt quite feel right!

I am another one who types much better than I talk although I rarely handwrite anything anymore due to hypermobile fingers and wrists that dont behave when holding a pen!

My DP sleeps on the edge of the duvet to prevent me from rolling up in it! Bless him

I've got as far as the ASD consultant psych. Had a 40 min interview, sent away with 2 questionnaires for me, and a huge one for my parents/close relative.

There was mention of a further lengthy wait (another 9 months) before my next appt, due to funding, and a suggestion that some people like to go private.

I was left with the suspicion that because an early developmental picture couldn't be given by parents etc., then a definitive diagnosis was unlikely, but would just perhaps be 'autistic traits'. Which won't give me resolution, or protection in the workplace.

I survived foot pamper evening! As predicted, DD1 tickled me- she said it was the best Rainbows ever

DH says I worry about stuff too much, but I tend to think a lot about future events and run through loads of different scenarios in my head, then I feel like I'm prepared for whatever happens. Obviously the bad scenarios take more thought because bad things are harder to cope with. Does anyone else do this?

Yes. I sometimes go through really morbid stuff, too. Like for some reason one I used to go over was DH when he was DP turning up at my door having been stabbed. I don't know why because this was the most unlikely thing to happen. But it made me feel calm because I would know what to do.

I am generally pretty good in a crisis, so I don't know if the going over everything is helpful.

But I am refusing to go through any scenarios about my dentist visit tomorrow which is making me nervous :( Luckily she is very quick - 5 mins in and out which is good for me. Doesn't give me time to worry.

Thanks :) Last time I went straight from work, tomorrow will go straight from dropping DS off at kindergarten. I am still waiting for my health insurance card to show up so half hoping they will postpone because of that! But really I should just tell them to send me the bill if it goes too long. And then argue with the health insurance later.

Good luck at the dentist today, Bertie.