Support thread for women with suspected/diagnosed/self-diagnosed ASD or ADHD

[EauRouge]

Previous thread here.

Hello all, I know I'm new but the old thread was full, so here's a shiny new one. This is a thread for adult women who have ASD or ADHD, or suspect they do, to support each other.

Here are some resources that might be useful:

Links

List of female AS traits by Tania Marshall.

Article about women and girls on the spectrum by NAS.

List of female traits by Everyday Aspergers

Musings of an Aspie- Cynthia Kim's blog (one of the few sources I have found about being a parent with Aspergers)

Autistic Women's Collective

Recognising ADHD in women from ADDitude Magazine

Resources for women with ADHD from ADDitude Magazine

Adult ADHD support (coming soon by the looks of things)

Books

Aspergirls by Rudy Simone

The Complete Guide to Aspergers Syndrome by Tony Attwood

You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!: The Classic Self-help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder by Kate Kelly (I haven't read this one but I have heard it recommended many times- apologies if it's no good!)

Online tests

(Online tests are not 100% certain but can give you a very good idea and a starting point for talking to your GP if you're seeking diagnosis)

RDOS Aspergers quiz (the best one IMO)

AQ test

ADHD test

ADHD questionnaire for women

Info dump complete

Please come and join in!

Welcome, Angua :)

I don't think a brilliant LTM is a required trait for an Asperger's diagnosis, but I think it is quite a common trait. I can't remember anything useful, it's usually lists of things like F1 stats, plant/animal species, stuff like that. Things that I'm interested in. My short term memory is a total joke.

I'm in Cambridgeshire too! I'm near Huntingdon so I come under Hinchingbrooke, and my local NHS (trust? Or whatever they are now) was utterly crap at offering me support so I went to a charity instead. I believe there is a specialist adult autism centre in Cambridge, asking for a referral to them is probably your best bet. I haven't been to any local support groups or anything, but if you ever want to meet up for cake then let me know.

Here you go: CLASS clinic, Cambridge.

My memory can be very good, if it's something I'm interested in or has order/is logical. I can quickly learn and retain songs because music/rhythm is (sort of) logical.

However, I do suffer from executive function problems, including poor STM/working memory. You know that feeling where you go into a room and you can't remember why? That's me, constantly, at the moment! I go to make a drink, and go to the toilet instead. When I eventually remember to make my drink, I find my cup is already full of the last drink I made that I forgot to drink. Then I go and leave it in the kitchen anyway.

Poltergoose and crohn, i have autoimmune arthritis but also have eds. So i never know which is causing problems as a lot of them cross over!

I dont want to comment too much on my memory and jinx the exams that i need to cram for next week!

Old me could literally read once and retain. Since i've been so tired, it just doesnt sink in like it did. Luckily, a lot of the work right now is stuff i did retain from a-level :)

I can easily remember things I'm interested in, but I'm finding out that the things I like aren't run of the mill things, and when I talk about them people (including my dc) glaze over a bit.
I believe I have a photographic memory for some things (sadly nothing useful). My long term memory tends to be fantastic, short term crap.

When I'm really stressed, if I bump into someone I know somewhere I'm not expecting to see them (eg. See them in town when I usually see them in the village walking the dog) I recognise them, but my brain places them as a memory from years ago and I'll go "wow, fancy seeing you here, haven't seen you for years!" when I may have seen them the day before (dh walks away when this happens).

Sergeant it was Born Naughty that was my lightbulb moment as well. I finally realised that the running commentry in my head is my learned social copying.

Beyond is autoimmune arthritis another name for rheumatoid arthritis? My dad has that. And I'm pretty sure he has Asperger too now.

The trying to be anorexic makes so much sense Chronically. I swung between almost Bulimic and almost Anorexic from being eleven to about twenty.

I have a good memory for useless information, my working memory is absolutely terrible.

How are people with energy/productivity? I can go for days-weeks doing the bare minimum (bathroom and kitchen generally kept clean). Then I'll clean and tidy in what feels like a compulsive manner until DH tells me I can sit down! This can go on for days/weeks til I crash. I read the Marie Kondi book on tidying before Chrismas and did loads.

I'm the same, I go in spurts. I have a phone app now that reminds me to do stuff but then things like holidays happen and it takes me ages to get back on track. If it's a big job (looks at bombsite living room) then I just don't even know where to start and I put it off because it seems like such a massive task. I suppose I could just put away the books.

Man, I really need to stop reading relationship threads, why the fuck do people always suggest autism the minute someone's DH does something wrong? But if someone's a computer genius or an amazing artist no-one ever says "I bet they're autistic". Why is it always the bad things? It really upsets me.

Do you think it's worth saying something to MNHQ? It seems to happen a lot (or is it just me?). I don't feel confident enough to confront people about it, especially in AIBU.

'SN Brigade' Fucking hell.

I challenge it. Fuck them all and their ableism! I think someone has spoken to mnhq about it before, it vaguely rings a bell in my head?

Astarael, autoimmune arthritis can be caused by different things, rheumatoid being one of them. To be technical, mine is psoriatic arthritis - its linked to my skin and scalp psoriasis, and possibly directly caused by it. But most people havent heard of it, so its easier to go with the general "autoimmune"

I'd linked my EDS to asd rather than my AI disease - its been suggested that it can be caused by hypermobility within the connective tissue in neurons. Backed up by the fact so many people with asd are hypermobile even if they dont have a HMS/EDS diagnosis. I'll see if i can go and find the paper now...

Not the one i read, but similar...
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3365276/

Just in case anyone hasn't seen this, there's a free Asperger's magazine from the NAS here. This issue is about late diagnosis, thought it might help quite a few people.

I also read this blog post which I related to a lot. It's heavy going and it made me cry but it's nice to know that I'm not alone.

Wow Eau, that blog post brought up some memories. No tears from me (anti-depressants minimise those) but identify with a lot of it. I recall suicidal thoughts at such a young age, not wanting to die so much as being unable to bear the pain of living. Actually, that's not really gone away. I just focus on what I have to live for.

Interestingly today, my friend said she's been referred to see if she's ASD. I wondered it myself - she's lovely (quite a bit younger than me to give it context) but very blunt at times and quite intense. I see lots of qualities in her that I know in myself. Be interesting to see what her assessment says.

I relate to that blogpost immensely.

I was wondering also if anyone else struggles with the balance between getting to know someone and oversharing.

I also felt suicidal at a young age before I knew what it was. I used to wish I didn't exist or that I was never born. DD1 says the same thing when she is having a meltdown :( I wish I could take that feeling away from her.

Yes, I'm totally unsure of how much to share. There are no clear-cut rules to follow. I've probably overshared before but I tend to err on the side of caution. DH will chat away to anyone and share his whole life story, it really makes me cringe.

Thanks for the warm welcome and replies to my question about memory.

Thinking about it more, some things do stick - certain numbers that I use regularly (even my bank card number), but only with a particular rhythm, and the 1st row of the transition metals from the periodic table as I had to know them for a uni exam and somehow they were permanently tatooed on my brain! I also pick up random facts from books, but know virtually nothing of actors/actresses, film stars etc - the knowledge that the rest of the world seems to somehow absorb by osmosis.

I do have a very very good attention to detail though - I worked as an editor before I got ill (a bad job for a perfectionist who may have AS as you have to know what is 'good enough' for publication and not get too bogged down in tiny details - it got very stressful) and can spot an errant apostrophe very easily even now when I struggle to read. Can't tell if someone's had their hair cut etc though and couldn't tell you what my Mum's wearing today despite having spent the morning with her!

My working memory is awful, but I have quite strong cognitive dysfunction thanks to the ME. It was marginally better before.

I overshare a lot too.

EauRouge At the moment I can't really get out, but sometime when I'm feeling a bit better it would be lovely to meet for cake, thanks

Hello, a bit late to join. I was worried I may not fur in because My rosd-thingy comes Up around 130 aspie and 95 nt, So Im sort of in the middle. But now I read the first few Pages and see that this is not unusual. I dont like that you have to day Yes/no and couldnt answer all the questions.
Just saying hi, really. My daughter is autistic, and it was reading Up On that I started thinking some of it Applied to me aswell. My oldest boy has some resurs too, but the middle One seems not to.

I got 127 aspie 67 neurotypical, so similar aspie but less neurotypical

[img]www.rdos.net/eng/poly10a.php?p1=59&p2=76&p3=80&p4=92&p5=40&p6=60&p7=43&p8=73&p9=63&p10=71[/img]

How do you get the picture to appear?

rdos.net/eng/poly10a.php?p1=59&p2=76&p3=80&p4=92&p5=40&p6=60&p7=43&p8=73&p9=63&p10=71

You have to upload it as an attachment. When you write a new post there are a couple of buttons underneath for uploading a picture.

Thanks