Support thread for women who suspect or know they have ASD traits or are on the spectrum

[OxfordBags]

Hello, all! As the title says, I hope this can be a support thread for those of us who suspect or know we have some (or many) Aspergic traits; where we can share experiences, stories, problems, worries, knowledge and info, and hopefully benefit and help each other too.

I found a great link a while ago that is very comprehensive in its description of how Asperger's presents in women and how women experience it. Some of it is strikingly different from the male model and how most people perceive Asperger's. Here: ASD in women

I truly believe two things: 1) that ASD in females is woefully misunderstood and under-diagnosed and 2) that our current understanding and the definition of the AS Spectrum is, in itself, rather ASD in its rigidity, and that there is an actual spectrum of traits much broader and more nuanced than the current model, and that there are a hell of a lot of people struggling with some very typical ASD traits, who nevertheless do not have all the traits required to fulfil a formal diagnosis of having Asperger's or High-Functioning Autism.

So, with that rather typically ASD-style long-winded and unnecessarily detailed intro out of the way, let's chat!

Hello again. I'm here to admit I've cut myself off from the world over the last week. I've missed three appointments which were important and I'm not communicating with people very much either.

I've had a bit of a shit time, but this isn't a good sign for me. What do you do to stop this kind of behaviour?

I really don't know, I've never been in this situation alone before. I've always had the kids or my mum or my friends. I could perhaps reach out to my DV officer, she's been pretty good recently, but I know she is very busy. My doctor here doesn't know me either.

Have you underactivethyroids tried supplementing with coconut oil? Or trying a different type of medication, like liothyronine?

Hypothyroidism tends to go hand in hand with adrenal gland fatigue/exhaustion, and if you are not perfectly medicated, things just get worse over time. NHS testing can tell you you're fine on paper, but if you feel like shit you need to know your numbers (I am told I am fine as long as my number is under 5 - I can't function if it's over 2) and you need to be tested for things like iron, vit b12 and vit d deficiency.

The HealthUnlocked thyroid board is fantastic if you are having issues. healthunlocked.com/thyroiduk/questions

Sadly my GP only tests me for TSH, I have no idea about Free T3, T4, all of that. If anyone knows of a decent GP in the Bicester area please let me know!

I can relate to a lot of what you say nappyaddict. I often leave family gatherings without saying good bye to extended family, I can't stand the feeling of everyone looking at you as you make your way through them all! One year my (drunk) brother said something that made me think they talk about me behind my back and think I'm rude.

My family are difficult though, typical Daily Mail readers (apologies to any DM readers here, but they are!). They know I struggle with a lot of things, but they don't believe in autistic spectrum disorders. And they laugh at the fact that I drink a lot when we all go out. It's how I cope, it's not for fun!

My AQ score is 43. Just want to write that down here in case I need to know it in future.

Crap, you know when things just fall out of your mouth before you can even think? That.
I just said 'Jesus Christ' in response to a fright by someone coming in the room at work (everyone is in a meeting I have my iPod on, earphones in and a Hoover on). He's very Christian. Luckily je made a joke out of it but I try so so hard not to use blasphemy around Christians. Huge fail. (sorry if this offends anyone).

He not je.

Oh right, I'll jot it down somewhere in RL then. (I got 197 on the RAADS one)

I just read the thread from the beginning. I was shocked that so many of you have bad relationships with your mothers. Mine is schizophrenic, but underlying that, I'm sorry to say, is a pretty rotten personality to start with. She is domineering and loud, and very arrogant. I think she may have at least been partly to blame for my selective mutism as a kid. In my house you either kept quiet or got shouted into a corner.

And it was cool to see spinning mentioned! I've always done this. At least once a day I draw the curtains, put my ipod on and spin round the room to music. It seems to reset my levels if that makes sense. As a kid my siblings/parents used to walk in on me spinning round, and now my ds does. There has never been a conversation about it, but now I'm thinking I will; discuss it with my son.

Last thing - I have a confession and I hope it doesn't piss you off - I don't have a diagnosis. I lied about that. I didn't lie about my GP being irritated with me though. Previously when I've tried to join in with ASD conversations, I've felt like a self-diagnosis didn't cut it with the other people, and coming in at the tail end of the thread, I assumed it would be the same here. Sorry. I would like a diagnosis, but can't afford to pursue one privately, and my GP is like a great bloody Kraken who takes it upon himself to protect NHS funds unless you're actually dying in front of him. (Please don't tell me to change GP's, too stressy...)

Poor little 5yo DD is such hard work at the moment. She has her first appointment in May but that feels like an age away. Her sleep is especially bad, she's getting nightmares now she's at school . She's like a mini-me and it's quite distressing thinking she might be a repeat of my life. I'm just hoping we both get an official diagnosis sooner rather than later. I reckon we're ok until she's a teenager then it could implode.

Her teacher saw her have a meltdown with me so even though she says she is ok in class (and I'm sure she is) she was sympathetic when I was chatting to her about it.

gatorade I don't have a diagnosis. But I have nearly a full house of ASD traits. And DD is on her way. 7yo DS seems like he's just on the cusp but he's a clever little sausage and Mr Popular at school (unlike me and DD who are lone wolves) so I think he'll be ok as long as he does well at school.

Hello, thanks for inquiring about my situation. It's not any worse, and there's hope in the future for it to get better, so I am weathering the storm as well I can. Distracting myself with my friend's SKY TV and knitting, so I don't constantly worry about stuff. I am so very lucky she puts me up for nothing, and comes and visits me often so that I am not alone, I know many people wouldn't be in such a good situation. I do worry about being found here, but stuff is underway to sort out a move to a different area.

I know that my hiding away and excessive sleeping is to do with this worry about my situation, it's overloading me and making going out harder, as I reach a shut off point where I just can't deal with all the stimulation going out brings. It's odd because I am lonely at the same time and want human contact, but can't deal with it right now. All I can say is that time will hopefully rectify the situation. I have to try today to go out to the council for a food bank token, so I am trying really hard to break out of this worry, I need to be able to eat over the weekend, so I'm being very firm with myself.

I have never had a good relationship with my mother. she has always been a loon, made worse when my db passed away aged 21. it was at its worse when me and ds lived there for 5 loooooong years. she interfered and took over. I let her cos to start with I was glad of the help and then gradually she was taking over more and more and even though we had rows about it I couldn't get her to stop. the only way would have been to give up my job as an evening waitress so she didn't have to look after ds. I should have done it years ago.

I am trying to switch jobs now but have only had 1 interview. I can't work evenings or weekends as dp wants to go back to college on evenings and cut back the 2 nights ds has to stay at my mums to 1. dp also wants me on salary rather than hourly to get a cheaper mortgage. he wants me to go and see his step mum to talk about application and interview techniques but I really don't feel comfortable about it. I know it will help me but I just can't bring myself to go on my own and dp is refusing to come. he just gets angry about all the excuses cos I need to change my job so he can study for a better one. I know all this but i still don't do it.

Lots of what you have all written us true for me also, I am realising more and more how many ASD traits I have. Marking my place but will come back to write more.

Me too. I'm not sure if this thread is helpful or not. It is making me think I have more and more traits but it is also making me act like I have. I don't know if it's because the thread is making me feel more relaxed to be my real self or if it's all in my head and I'm just acting like this because I think I have it. I hope that makes sense. It's all a bit garbled in my head.

Yesterday we had to have a gas safety check. I really didn't want it whilst I was in the house by myself but DP arranged it. I was certain they were meant to come between 10 and 10:30 because DP had told the landlord I was leaving for work at 11:30. So I was all set to just pretend I was out when it got to 10:30 and they hadn't come. But then I doubted myself and thought I might have got the time wrong so better let him in. It got to 11:30 and he was still here. I didn't know how to say to him you need to go now I'm going to be late for work. I got myself ready, put my coat and shoes on etc and finally he left 18 minutes later. I had to run to work luckily I was only 2 minutes late in the end. I feel ridiculous that I would wait and run to work instead of just saying you need to go.